Bryan Callen: Tommy Riordan's captured the media's attention, but the question still remains: who is this guy? And more importantly, can he compete in this talent pool? Can he win?
Sam Sheridan: I wish I knew, Bryan. I wish I knew who he was, and I've gotta say the fact that I don't know is strange. In an internet age where there are no secrets, this guy is a complete mystery. I can't find out anything about him. Tommy Riordan is officially Google proof.
Tom Conlon: So you found God, huh? That's awesome. See, Mom kept calling out for him but he wasn't around. I guess Jesus was down at the mill forgiving all the drunks. Who knew?
Brendan Conlon: That's Tess. And that's Emily and Rosie. They're your nieces, Tommy.
Tom Conlon: Don't know 'em.
Brendan Conlon: I know you don't know them. Of course you don't know them.
Tom Conlon: Why am I looking at pictures of people I don't know?
Brendan Conlon: Because that's my family.
Tom Conlon: And who are you exactly?
Brendan Conlon: I'm your brother, man.
Tom Conlon: You were in the Corps?
Brendan Conlon: What?
Tom Conlon: I said I didn't know you were in the Corps.
Brendan Conlon: I wasn't in the Corps.
Tom Conlon: Then you ain't no brother to me. My brother was in the Corps.
Brendan Conlon: Tommy, what are you doing?
Tom Conlon: Shut Up! Come on
Brendan Conlon: Come on? What are you that crazy?
Referee Josh Rosenthal: Lets Go To War!
Brendan Conlon: What are you doing? It's over Tommy! Tommy You don't have to do this! Don't make me do this Tommy! I don't want to do this!
Tom Conlon: Whats the matter?
Brendan Conlon: [pinning him] I'm sorry Tommy! I'm sorry... Tap out Tom! It's OK! It's OK! I Love You! I Love You Tommy!
Paddy Conlon: Come on, kiddo. I've been there. I've done it. I've seen it. You can trust me. I'll understand.
Tom Conlon: Spare me the compassionate father routine, Pop. The suit don't fit.
Paddy Conlon: I'm really trying here, Tommy.
Tom Conlon: You're trying? Now? Where were you when it mattered? I needed this guy back when I was a kid. I don't need you now. It's too late now. Everything's already happened. You and Brendan don't seem to understand that. Let me explain something to you: the only thing I have in common with Brendan Conlon is that we have absolutely no use for you.
Frank Campana: Look at me! Look at me! Why are we here, Brendan? Why are we here? Are we here to win this fight? You tell me, 'cause if we're not, I'll throw in the towel right now. We'll get Tess and we will go home. You don't knock him out, you lose the fight. Understand me? You don't knock him out, you don't have a home.
Brendan Conlon: I popped his shoulder.
Frank Campana: Relax. Breathe.
Brendan Conlon: I heard it tear.
Frank Campana: You popped his shoulder? Good. I want you to pop his other shoulder.
Bryan Callen: I'll tell you what: you do that to someone on the street and they'd lock you up and throw away the key! Break out the yellow tape, Sam. Tommy's walking away from the cage like he's leaving a crime scene.
Tom Conlon: Not much of a woman's touch around here.
Paddy Conlon: No women for me anymore, Tommy.
Tom Conlon: Yeah. Must be tough to find a girl who could take a punch nowadays.
Brendan Conlon: You never had any interest in underdogs. But I was your son.
Paddy Conlon: You *are* my son, Brendan.
Brendan Conlon: Am I?
Paddy Conlon: Yeah, you are. I'm just asking you if can find... find a little bit of space in your heart to forgive me a little bit.
Brendan Conlon: Yeah? All right, I forgive you.
Paddy Conlon: Okay.
Brendan Conlon: But I do not trust you.
Frank Campana: You gotta relax and stay calm in there. The cage is your home. You set the pace. You set the rhythm. Feel the Beethoven. Be smarter than him, more patient. Wait for him to make a mistake. And when he does, that's your moment.
Paddy Conlon: Alright. Alright. But you get something through your skull, too. You called me. So don't go threatening to walk every five minutes. And since this is about training, you dump whatever it is you need to dump as far as those pills are concerned. I don't want to see 'em. In fact, hand 'em over right now. I know they're on you, Tommy. You sounded like a goddamn maraca coming through the door.
Tom Conlon: So you gonna ask about her, or you just gonna sit there all sober?
Paddy Conlon: I know.
Tom Conlon: Oh you know. What do you know? You know it wasn't enough to drive west to get away from you? When we hit the water we drove north, too.
Paddy Conlon: When I get sober I hired a man to find you.
Tom Conlon: Is that one of the 12 steps? Or does a guy like you get 24?
Tom Conlon: I think I liked you better when you were a drunk.
Paddy Conlon: Ahab! You Godless sonofabitch! You stop the ship, you Godless sonofabitch!
Brendan Conlon: God, man, I don't understand this. You won't forgive me, but you'll forgive Pop?
Tom Conlon: Shit. He's just some old vet I train with. He means nothing to me. From what I hear he means nothing to you, either, so you got balls talking about forgiveness.
Bryan Callen: Lock up the china because the boys are at it again!
Tom Conlon: You had a choice, okay. You had a choice.
Brendan Conlon: I know this isn't a great time. And it's too bad about Marco. But what about me?
Frank Campana: You talking about Sparta? Brendan, please. You got a better chance of starting a boy band.
Principal Zito: Let me get this straight. You want to use the auditorium to watch a suspended teacher engage in the activity he was suspended for? Am I hearing this correctly?
Principal Zito: You got no business in the ring with those animals.
Brendan Conlon: Actually, I used to be one of those animals
Tom Conlon: I'm serious. We train. That's it. I don't wanna hear a word about anything but training, you understand? You wanna tell your war stories, you can take 'em down to the VFW. You can take 'em to a meeting, or church, or wherever the hell it is you go nowadays.
Paddy Conlon: I've got a thousand days. A thousand days sober today.
Brendan Conlon: Well, that's great, Pop. But it doesn't change anything.
Paddy Conlon: What do you mean it doesn't change anything? Have a heart, Brendan.
Brendan Conlon: You listen to me. You take your have-a-heart bullshit and you run it down the road. Run it out on someone who doesn't know you like I do.
Sam Sheridan: Give the guy a break. At least he's fought in the UFC before. He's fought real fighters. I remember him.
Bryan Callen: I remember him, too. I remember him being very unmemorable.
Paddy Conlon: [arriving home] Tommy? Jesus! What are you doing here?
Tom Conlon: I was just passing through. I figured why not have a belt with the old man.
Brendan Conlon: C'mon, it's not as bad as it looks.
Principal Zito: Are you being literal or figurative? Because literally it looks bad. And figuratively it looks even worse. The superintendent's coming by in a few minutes. So gimme a little help here, Brendan. Can you explain to me what the hell you were doing?
Brendan Conlon: I need the money, Joe.
Principal Zito: Yeah, but we can't have this. This isn't moonlighting at Applebee's for Christ's sake.
Tom Conlon: Tiptoeing around here like a beggar - with your little cup.