- Mr. Friend: [after the babies have buried him in the sand box] Stay away from squiggly worms they're full of dirt and yucky
- [malfunctioning]
- Mr. Friend: g-g-g-g-germs germs.
- Tommy: [after being asked to draw] Okay, I'll do it, but I warn you, it's not gonna be pretty. I don't have all my motor skills yet.
- Mr. Friend: [Tommy accidentally hugs Mr. Friend in his sleep] Rise and shine you sleepy head it's no fun to stay in bed
- [malfunctions]
- Mr. Friend: in bed, in bed, in bed-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d
- [head spins]
- Mr. Friend: [Tommy cries]
- Chuckie: [Stu hands them Mr. Friend to play with] Tommy do you know this guy?
- Tommy: Uh,uh but my daddy said his name was "Mr. Fiend"
- [to Mr. Friend]
- Tommy: Hi Mr. Fiend I'm Tommy and this is my pal Chuckie, wanna play with us?
- [presses Mr. Friend's heart button activating him]
- Mr. Friend: My name is Mr. Friend, you'll never ever be bored again
- [Tommy and Chuckie scream in terror as it follows them]
- Chuckie: [Mr. Friend malfunctions and falls over] Is he, is he broken?
- Tommy: Yeah I think so
- [approaches Mr. Friend who re-activates]
- Mr. Friend: Hello kiddies rise and shine, I'm your friend-d-d-d-d
- [malfunctions and falls over knocking his batteries out]
- Mr. Friend: [the babies pull out a loose fence board and push Mr. Friend out into the street] Let's play hide and seek, my turn to hide but don't you peak, do your homework study hard, and don't eat food that's cooked in lard
- [as an army of Mr. Friend dolls approach]
- Lil: *flatly* Boy, this has really been one of those days, huh?