Turtle Dreams (1983 TV Movie) User Reviews

Horrifying, hilarious and a little hypnotic

[Foreverisacastironmess123 · 1/10 · 29 June 2021]

Lol whaaaat? Very bizarre artistic I guess piece of four performers with disconcertingly well choreographed movements, not quite dance steps, as a rather moribund organ music plays throughout, and they wail and they yip and they yodel and caterwaul for half an hour non stop and it's intercut with footage of a turtle on the moon I think? I'm not sure what the intention of this ever was I mean I guess you could call it an avant garde performance thing but I can't quite fathom what you're supposed to get from it, it didn't make me come to any startling revelations, it just gave me a bad earache and made me cringe a lot for those brave 'dancers', ugh beats the hell out of me, I only heard of it because it was featured on one of my favourite internet comedy shows that rags on bad movies and these kinds of beyond obscure hysterical fever dream nightmares! I'm sure those who are familiar with whatever this is and if the 'song' has a name will understand and get more out of this than I ever will, but as an outsider to this I just thought it was one of most laughably bad and bizarre things I'd ever seen. You know it's bad when the most fun you can have with something is seeing it lampooned on another show. Play it and see how long you can stand it, it's out there if you wanna see some bizarre s##t like you never have in your life, oh it's definitely out there!! X.

The things a man can do for a pu...

[Kitahito · 2/10 · 1 January 2022]

It's a shame that Meredith and her comrades in the audiovisual absurdity were six years late from the launching of Voyager spacecraft because I'm sure the Turtle Dreams would have been on the Golden Record. I imagine as aliens finding it, decoding the recording, and watching four idiots move left and right making random autistic sounds, sometimes starting to wriggle in intellectual agony (as the viewers themselves)... I suspect they'd just run down and massacre us just for good measure. The univese can't tolerate such an insufferable lack of taste.