Capitaine Chantel DuBois: Poor animals. You should have stayed in the wild. Now, you deal with ME!
Capitaine Chantel DuBois: You can run, but you can not save your hides!
Alex: [Marty drives a van] What're you doing? Zebras can't drive, only penguins and people can drive!
King Julien XIII: [to a female bear] Has anyone ever told you that you look like a supermodel, albeit a fat, hairy one, who smells?
[the Bear eats him... and pulls him out by his tail]
King Julien XIII: Whoa-ha-ha!
Skipper: Grab your luggage and drain your bladders, it's gonna be a long trip.
Alex: We're going the wrong way! Turn around!
Marty: Just call me Marty-o Andretti!
Alex: No, you're Sucky-o Andretti!
Marty: Stop back-seat driving!
Alex: I'm passenger-seat driving, and I want the wheel! Give me the wheel!
Marty: It's not a wheel, it's my baby!
Alex: Your hooves aren't meant to be on a wheel!
Marty: It's too late for you to drive now!
Alex: Stefano, you're a genius.
Stefano: No, I'm a not. I'm only average intelligence. Some even say slightly below.
Jonesy the Dog: Why should we even help them? They're not even circus.
Vitaly: That's Bolshevik!
Skipper: As much as I hate to admit it in American soil, the Ruskie's right.
Stefano: My tears are real! You are not!
Capitaine Chantel DuBois: You know what they say. When in Rome...
[jumps onto police scooter]
Capitaine Chantel DuBois: VIVA LA FRANCE!
Marty: I'm like a candy cane in a black and white movie.
Capitaine Chantel DuBois: Voila! Giraffe at 12 o' clock.
Marty: It's the fuzz! What are we gonna do?
Marty: [singing and dancing] Da-da-dadadada-da-da, circus, da-da-dadadada-da-da, afro! Circus afro, circus afro! Polka dot, polka dot, polka dot afro!
Melman: I can't dance!
Gloria: Maybe that's because you've never tried it before.
Melman: I *have* tried it! I practice in private because you're so good at it...
Gloria: You practice? For me?
Melman: Yeah, but... It's no use! I never know what to do with my arms.
Gloria: That's the easy part.
[wraps Melman's arms around her neck]
Gloria: You just put your arms around your partner.
Alex: Well, I say they can take the animals out of the circus, but they can't take the animals out of the circus!
Alex: Uh, you know what I mean!
[Gloria gets stuck after falling down an air shaft, nearly crushing Alex, Marty, and Melman]
Melman: [to Gloria, sweetly yet awkwardly] Hi, honey!
Gloria: It's just like dancing; two steps forward, one step back...
Alex: [in a dream] What happened to you? You're so *elderly*!
[the group is observing their old homes from outside the zoo gates]
Alex: Hmm... My rock looks smaller than I remember it being...
Marty: Hey, look, it's the mural! Heh, doesn't quite capture the real thing, does it?
Gloria: Well, there's our homes... I forgot about that wall between us, Melman. Was that always there?
King Julien XIII: Sonya! I miss you, baby! I miss your stinky kisses!
Marty: [to Alex as he gets into the driver's seat] Move over, Miss Daisy!
Capitaine Chantel DuBois: [Alex gets rid of DuBois by throwing her into a pool as they fly away] Well played, Lion. Game on.
Alex: I just wanted to thank you for letting us get in the train. You know "the cat with the accent" wasn't so happy about this and...
Gia: Listen, lion guy. This circus means everything to us. And if you do anything that threatens this circus, you'll have to answer to me. Capiche?
Alex: Yeah, capiche. Cool! Trust me, we're cool.
Alex: Skipper, what about the plane?
Skipper: Well, the chimps will work all through the night, no breaks, no safety restrictions...
[Chimps run off]
Skipper: Hey! Where are you going? Get back here, we have a contract!
Mason: Yes, well, I'm afraid the labour laws are slightly more lenient in France. You see, they only have to work 2 weeks in a year.
Skipper: Well, someone else has the Canadian work ethic!
Skipper: I say we let it ride, then we pick up the hippies and fly back in style.
Kowalski: Can we get an Airbus A380?
Skipper: Solid gold, baby!
Kowalski: Skipper, I'm afraid a solid gold plane would be too heavy to fly.
Skipper: Kowalski, we're rich now. The laws of physics don't apply to us.
Marty: Man, that is one ugly, mag-ugly lady! That is roach-killing ugly!
Alex: Wait a minute, that's no lady, that's the King of Versailles; and that's not the King of Versailles, that's the chimps! And the chimps are smoke, and where there's smoke, there's fire, by which I mean the penguins.
King Julien XIII: [Waiting for the signal to turn off the casino master switch] Now?
Maurice: Not yet.
King Julien XIII: Okay?
King Julien XIII: [Sticking pencils in his nose, ears and mouth] Uh, I'm a little busy right now.
Maurice: Just pull the switch!
King Julien XIII: Okay, fine.
Alex: The Colosseum, the original theater in the round, Marty. You know, my ancestors used to perform here.
Marty: No kiddin'?
Alex: Yeah. Every show had a captive audience. Apparently, they killed.
Gloria: How are a zebra, a hippo, a lion and a giraffe going to walk into a casino in Monte Carlo?
Marty: I don't know. Ask the rabbi.
Skipper: [Having a pillow fight with the other penguins] You all pillow fight like little girls!
[Rico hits Skipper hard with a pillow, feathers fly out]
Skipper: Chimichanga! These pillows are stuffed with baby birds!
Vitaly: Absolut no outsiders! So wipe that Smirnoff your face and Popov.
Skipper: You better know what you're doing. You're blowing away the Private's college fund.
Private: I'll never be President!
Marty: Afro, don't fail me now!
Marty: This is crackalackin' to the mackalackin'!
Stefano: Maybe I am average intelligence after all.
Alex: Some would even say slightly above.
Stefano: No, I don't think so.
King Julien XIII: It is clear that I am just an emotional whoopee cushion for you to sit on. When you look for where I am, I won't be there!