Dr. Gregory House: Come on, you're from one of the Twelve Tribes, you must know a ton of lawyers.
Dr. Chris Taub: What type of lawyer do you need? I'll bring it up at the next world domination subcommittee meeting.
Dr. Chris Taub: Just because you grew up in a Charles Dickens novel.
Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Well, it's people like me who don't do it. When your life sucks from the beginning, nowhere to go but up.
Dr. James Wilson: Why do women do that?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Fail?
Dr. James Wilson: Create ridiculous standard that no human can meet. With your career, your kids. You've got to be more like us me.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You mean lazy? Blame others?
Dr. James Wilson: Get help! Most men in your position have a deputy and two assistants at work. And a wife and two nannies at home. You're not superwoman. Don't be a martyr.
Dr. Gregory House: [to Cameron] This is the favor? I was expecting something that involving whipped cream and tongue depressors.
Dr. Chris Taub: Sane people don't attempt suicide.
Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Not ever? So if you were being burned at the stake, and someone gave you a gun?
Dr. Chris Taub: I'd shoot the guys with the torches.
Dr. Eric Foreman: You can't give up on life because...
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley: I'm not giving up on life. I'm just giving up on you! I finally feel like I have a grip on things. I can handle this. What I can't handle is dragging anyone else down with me.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [to House and his team] If anyone should be able to handle a depressed patient...
Dr. Chris Taub: He insisted he was no longer...
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Apparently he *lied*.
[Looking at House]
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Didn't think I'd have to remind you of that remote possibility.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Do not try and force me to choose between my child...
Dr. Gregory House: I'm forcing you to do your job!
Dr. Eric Foreman: Rita, the spike in Dr. Hadley's IV bag wasn't pushed in all the way. Don't want any dosing errors.
Nurse Rita: Sorry. It won't happen again... Stinks doesn't it?
Dr. Eric Foreman: What?
Nurse Rita: The medication, when we switch out the bags, you can smell it. It's disgusting.
Dr. Eric Foreman: I didn't smell anything.
Nurse Rita: Oh. She must be on the placebo then.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You offered to do House's budget because you wanted him to owe you. Wanted him to take that case. Why?
Dr. Allison Cameron: Thought it would help house. Seeing someone worse off than him, possibly curing a guy with even less to look forward to.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Can I ask you something?... How would you like my job?
Dr. Gregory House: Lock up on your way out. Don't touch the piano.
Dr. Gregory House: Testicles. What do they make you think of?
Dr. Chris Taub: STDs, testerone issues, that summer on Fire Island.