London Fields

I'm not sure if Jim Sturgess was encouraged to play the insanely over the top cockney geezer, or it's simply how he did it

I give it three stars, simply because the opening was brilliant, two minutes of stylish, elegant, engaging cinematography, those sequences were the best part of the film. Some scenes looked nice. However...

As soon as Keith arrives, the film becomes unwatchable. The plot vanishes, the story telling is nothing short of a fiasco, it really does become a self absorbed mess, I applaud you if you see it all the way through.

Theo James by contrast is very good, he's a fine actor, but the damage had been done beyond belief by the time he arrives.

Didn't enjoy it, 3/10.

Hands down, this HAS to be one of the WORST movies ever made.

It's a mess.

Not a film noir. It's a film No

This film tells the story of a writer who gets inspired by her neighbour of his flat swap.

Seriously, this film is so sexually charged that it gets me uncomfortable. It basically is the vehicle to objectify Amber Heard, thereby fulfilling someone's perverted sexual fantasy. It tries a bit of noir, but it does not succeed. Instead, it is less than engaging and does not offer suspense or mystery as intended.

This movie is so bizarrely constructed and the editing is so bad, one can easily call it The Snowman of 2018.

While that failed venture was your standard police procedural made into a woeful example of outsider art through bad luck, this film aims for some near incomprehensible labyrinthine parody of every postmodern thriller made since Pulp Fiction or The Usual Suspects.

The closest that can be described to being a serviceable plot is that a slinky sexy woman named Nicola Six (no seriously that's her name) is blorn with the uncanny gift of premonition. And she guesses her murderer upon entering a sleazy London pub and being courted by a series of strange or suspicious characters. In between that, there is a lot of overwrought narration by a bored Billy Bob Thornton; a darts competition; and panoramic shots of what seem to be the Apocalypse.

If it had an inkling of self-awareness, it may be a spectacular example of stealth trolling pretentious film snobs and industry insiders everywhere. But given that this film stars Amber Heard (the poor man's Nicole Kidman) and rejected leading men like Jim Sturgess and Theo James, that seems unlikely.

Amber Heard is a beautiful sexy looking woman. But she does not yet have the screen presence to convey the aura of mystery or raw sensuality that seasoned pros like Sharon Stone or Angelina Jolie or Diane Lane could have done in their sleep. Theo James is slumming in a post-Divergent paycheck role that leaves nothing worth remembering. The worst offender of the main cast is Jim Sturgess as a gross looking barfly with a preposterous cockney accent and rotting teeth. This guy's performance is so ridiculously over the top that Nicolas Cage would be chastising Sturgess to tone it down.

The sole bright spot among the main cast is surprisingly enough the most controversial, Johnny Depp. No, seriously, Johnny Depp is in this movie and he's actually pretty good. It also helps that Amber Heard gets naked alot in this so at least there's that.

But unless you fancy yourself as one of those pretentious hipster schlock enthusiasts (such as myself ;).) I cannot recommend viewers to seriously consider watching this.

A pathetic attempt of a deep, interesting and artsy movie. Just awful, and I usually find some good things in bad movies. Do yourself a big favour and avoid this utter failure.