- Agent Baldwin P. 'Bulletproof' Vess: [opening narration] The facts have been kept secret, until now. You are about to witness the dramatic origin of the world's greatest crime-fighting team. It all began when the notorious underworld kingpin known as "The Big Boss" sent his henchmen on a spree of high-tech robberies. Here's how the caper came down...
- Berserko: We sure made monkeys out of the police.
- Brandon 'Big Boss' Babel: Yeah, well, next time, Berserko, steal money, not bananas, see!
- Berserko: [using a grappling hook to pull off a heist] Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Crook. Stealing's a cinch with this new hook!
- Turbo Tu-Tone: [after Rock Crusher crashes through the roof of his van] Ever consider using the door, jerk?