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A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas (2011) Poster

Quotes

Maria: Fuck a baby into me!

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[Kumar butts to the front of the line and is now on Santa's lap]

Mother in Santa line-up: HEY! Back of the line, Tech Support!

Kumar: Take it easy, Reba. Your little boy can rub his ass on Santa's cock in a minute!

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Kumar: [Upon being asked to go to a Christmas Eve party] No can do man. I have to stay here and smoke this weed, otherwise I won't get high.

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Kumar: You have a good job, you make good money, and you don't beat your wife. What more could a Latino father-in-law ask for?

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Wafflebot: I hate pancakes.

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Harold: You still haven't explained the gay thing.

Kumar: You're not gay, motherfucker!

Harold: At all.

Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah that's something us magicians like to call misdirection. Just a little something I picked up from my man, Clay Aiken.

Kumar: What? Clay Aiken's not gay?

Neil Patrick Harris: Are you kidding me? Clay's the biggest coos hound I know. That guy gets mad gash.

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Wafflebot: Pancakes are fucking gay.

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Gracie: I thought you were gay!

Neil Patrick Harris: I *am* gay! Gay for that pussy.

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Mr. Perez: The tree is a cancer, Harold. We have to get rid of it before it kills Christmas.

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Harold: Koreans have killed his mother and now his tree. Christmas is ruined.

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Kumar: Uh, miss, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to let you rape my friend on Christmas Eve.

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Wafflebot: Would you like a waffle, Mr. Harris?

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Neil Patrick Harris: What did I tell you about using tongue?

David Burtka: You told me to make it realistic.

Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, realistic! Not fucking gay as shit!

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Wafflebot: They serve pancakes in hell.

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Neil Patrick Harris: Look, don't be alarmed... but I'm gonna squirt some lotion on your back in about... 35 seconds.

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Kenneth Park: This is a Sharp 52" Aquos Quattron TV with state-of-the-art 3D technology that makes Avatar look Avatar-ded.

Harold: I don't know. Hasn't the whole 3D thing jumped shark by now?

Kenneth Park: Mr. Lee, you don't understand. This is the best 3D you've ever seen. It's gonna be amazing!

[Kenneth gives two thumbs up to the audience]

Harold: Who are you looking at?

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Todd: Oh, great. Now we're getting tinkled on.

Harold: It's just urine. It'll wash out.

Todd: Oh, Harry. Tinkled on the windshield. That is officially the grossest thing that has ever happened to me.

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David Burtka: I have Fred Savage on speed-dial.

Neil Patrick Harris: FUCK Savage! That crack is mine!

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Harold: I shot Santa in the face! He's real! And I shot him in the face!

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Kumar: I haven't shaved since you left. Pretty romantic, right? Like Ryan Gosling in "The Notebook."

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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