- Blair Waldorf: Not that's it's any of your business but Marcus and I have an amazing sex life.
- Chuck Bass: Is that so?
- [pause]
- Chuck Bass: What names does he call you when you make love?
- [Blair doesn't say anything and Chuck turns her around and grasps her hand]
- Chuck Bass: Where does he put his hand? Does he...
- [whispers seductively in Blair's ear:]
- Chuck Bass: I want you, baby. Won't you come to me?
- [while she's off balance:]
- Chuck Bass: Have sex with me.
- Blair Waldorf: What?
- Chuck Bass: Just once. That's all I need.
- Blair Waldorf: You are disgusting and I hate you!
- Chuck Bass: Then why are you still holding my hand?
- [Blair turns back around]
- Blair Waldorf: I have a party to host.
- [walks off]
- Serena van der Woodsen: I'm sorry, I'm not laughing. It's just so obvious. You're not over Blair, this is your body's way of telling you!
- Chuck Bass: I don't have a romantic bone in my body.
- [glancing down at himself:]
- Chuck Bass: Least of all that one. But you do raise an interesting idea. Clearly there's some sort of... blockage. Perhaps...
- Serena van der Woodsen: No!
- Chuck Bass: One more go-around, just to clear the pipes.
- Serena van der Woodsen: You are not using Blair as sexual Drano!
- Chuck Bass: I have to make myself presentable. I have a party to attend.
- Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Spotted: Lady B acting not so ladylike. Hope you kept that receipt for that tiara, B.
- Vanessa Abrams: You lied to me, and you're sleeping with some Mrs. Robinson. Now in the Upper East Side that might be totally normal, but I didn't sign up for some creepy love triangle with you and someone's mom.
- Nate Archibald: She's giving me money.
- Vanessa Abrams: Well, that's just the capper, isn't it?
- Chuck Bass: So much wasted potential.
- Blair Waldorf: What are you talking about?
- Chuck Bass: The thing that always fascinated me about you. The cool exterior, the fire burning below.
- Blair Waldorf: [contemptuous] You are living proof a person can't buy class.
- Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Sorry to break it to you, B, but this party just went over to the dark side.
- Catherine: Blair, have you seen Nate?
- Blair Waldorf: Um, no, it's a blackout.
- Catherine: That girl showed up, they went off somewhere together.
- Blair Waldorf: Honestly, Catherine, so what? If they wanna be together, you can't stop them. Just deal with it.
- Catherine: I wouldn't expect you to understand.
- Blair Waldorf: Hot young guy. Aging beauty enjoying her last hurrah before the surgeries start. It's called a cliché.
- Catherine: Is Marcus everything you could possibly hope for?
- Blair Waldorf: Yes, absolutely.
- Catherine: Really? There's not one thing that's missing? That one thing you tell yourself you can live without? That you'd happily sacrifice for the rest? So, tell you what, you're gonna sacrifice it every day for the rest of your life. Nate makes me feel alive. I'm not gonna give that up.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [Serena and Dan are stuck in the elevator] What do you want, Dan? For me to never say my name?
- Dan Humphrey: I'm not getting into this now.
- Serena van der Woodsen: We thought we could avoid dealing with last year, well, this is fate telling us we can't.
- [Dan starts to jump to the top of the elevator]
- Serena van der Woodsen: What are you doing?
- Dan Humphrey: I'm getting out of here.
- Serena van der Woodsen: No, someone's coming, the man said so.
- Dan Humphrey: I think someone always comes to save Serena van der Woodsen.
- Serena van der Woodsen: That's not fair.
- Dan Humphrey: I know it's not, that's the point.
- [Dan grabs ahold of the top of the elevator]
- Serena van der Woodsen: Fine, you know what? Life's not fair because it doesn't fit with the way you, Dan Humphrey, think things should be! But why are you always right?
- Serena van der Woodsen: I forgive you for Georgina.
- Dan Humphrey: And I forgive you... but I dunno.
- Serena van der Woodsen: We keep having the same fight at Bart's brunch a year ago, at the wedding.
- Dan Humphrey: And we talked about the fight at Bart's brunch.
- Serena van der Woodsen: And now here. I can't change who I am Dan.
- Dan Humphrey: Me neither. So what happens now?
- Serena van der Woodsen: I don't really feel like talking.
- Dan Humphrey: Yeah me neither.
- [Serena rests her head on his shoulder]
- Serena van der Woodsen: [as Japanese air hostess leaves] Who was that?
- Chuck Bass: A whiff of the Far East.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [shakes her head] Sometimes I envy you, the way you just... Ew, what am I saying? You're disgusting.
- Chuck Bass: Relax. Nothing happened with Madame Butterfly.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Yeah, right.
- Chuck Bass: No. Nothing happened. Same as nothing's been happening all week.
- Serena van der Woodsen: What are you talking about? You've had different girls all week.
- [then realizes nature of Chuck's problem]
- Serena van der Woodsen: No.
- Chuck Bass: I will take your incredulity as a compliment.
- Chuck Bass: [dressed a la Hugh Hefner in silk bathrobe, offers cigarette] Smoke?
- Nate Archibald: No, thanks. It's, uh, a little early for me.
- Chuck Bass: So how can I help, Nathaniel?
- Nate Archibald: About last week, uh, the money? I... I might have... overreacted a little.
- Chuck Bass: A little?
- Nate Archibald: Yeah. And, hey, if you can, I would love to take you up on the offer as a loan.
- Chuck Bass: I thought you were getting the money from somewhere else.
- Nate Archibald: Yeah, but that person, uhm, is asking for a lot.
- Chuck Bass: Well, I'd love to accommodate you, but when you spurned my offer, I sent the money to my financial guys. It's tied up in bonds for six months.
- Nate Archibald: Oh, uh, no, that's cool, I'll just... I'll find another way.
- Chuck Bass: So, uh, seen Blair and Lord Fauntleroy recently?
- Nate Archibald: No. Are you doing okay?
- Chuck Bass: Mm. I confess, I've been feeling a little off my game. But I'm expecting a return to form very soon.
- VDW-Bass Butler: Sir, the flight from Tokyo has landed.
- [followed by raven-haired Japanese stewardess]
- Chuck Bass: So I can see.
- Jenny Humphrey: I think there might be something wrong with the dress.
- Laurel: [rushes over towards model] No. This... this is what Eleanor designed.
- Jenny Humphrey: Really? Even...?
- Laurel: Did you ever see Cinderella?
- Jenny Humphrey: The cartoon?
- [shakes her head]
- Jenny Humphrey: Sure.
- Laurel: Remember the little birds that helped her dress? Remember how they didn't offer their opinions? Try to imagine you're one of those birds. Can you do that?
- Jenny Humphrey: Yeah.
- Laurel: Now fly away.
- Blair Waldorf: [on phone] Duchess, it's me. He's bringing her. And for the record, whatever you're planning with Nate, my bedroom floor is off limits.
- Eleanor Waldorf: [re dress she created] Why don't you try telling the truth? It's not like I could fire you twice.
- Jenny Humphrey: Well, it looks like a Pilgrim at a funeral.
- Eleanor Waldorf: I spent the last month going around and meeting with the stores and boutiques that carry my clothes.
- Jenny Humphrey: That must have been so exciting.
- Eleanor Waldorf: I felt like a fat cheerleader.