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"Gossip Girl" You've Got Yale! (TV Episode 2009) Poster

(TV Series)

(2009)

Quotes

Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Sticks and stones may break bones, but a poison pen is the best revenge.

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Headmistress Queller: [to Blair] When I spoke to Dean Barrowby this morning, he assured me that if the student they've accepted turns them down, you are next in line.

Blair Waldorf: Dan Humphrey. He's like a cafeteria lady who won the lottery. You couldn't pry that acceptance from his hands with the jaws of life.

Headmistress Queller: I wasn't speaking about Mr. Humphrey.

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Eric van der Woodsen: [Eric walks in on his mom and Rufus kissing] I would say get a room, but yours is right above mine. Please try to remember that.

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Serena van der Woodsen: I wasn't supposed to say anything, but you are going to Yale. You got in. In early admission.

Blair Waldorf: What?

Dan Humphrey: How do you know that?

Serena van der Woodsen: Because I declined my acceptance. You're next in line. They're gonna call you in a couple of hours.

Dan Humphrey: Whoa. You got in.

Blair Waldorf: You're the Constance student?

[Turns to minions]

Blair Waldorf: Cancel the Nelly Yuki project now!

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Isabel Coates: Ugh, I hate having to play the angel.

Penelope: I know. The devil is so much better.

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[last lines]

Blair Waldorf: Put that puppy down, Dorota.

Dorota: What happened, Miss Blair?

Blair Waldorf: It's what's going to happen that you should be worried about.

Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Not all beginnings are cause for celebration. A lot of bad things begin: fights, flu season, and the worst thing of all...

Dorota: Uh-oh. Is it war?

Blair Waldorf: Yes. But this one will be different. I need to wait for my moment, and then I'm going black-ops. Off the radar. No accountability. This war I'm gonna win.

Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Wanna be starting something. XOXO. Gossip Girl.

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Eric van der Woodsen: It reaches a high F. That never happens in operas. You know, that's a good fact. You should talk about it in intermission. You're gonna love The Magic Flute it's uhh... well it's...

Jenny Humphrey: It's okay. You can say it.

Eric van der Woodsen: Opera for amateurs.

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Eric van der Woodsen: Let's talk Singspiel, shall we.

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Serena van der Woodsen: I'm just reading the Brown catalog. Oh, and I ordered a home dreadlocking kit.

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Gossip Girl: [voice-over] True love and betrayal. Revenge and more revenge. A heroine with an impossible goal. If only Mozart had lived on the Upper East Side. But you can keep your magic flute, Amadeus. All this queen wants is a golden ticket to Yale.

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Penelope: A new teacher is like a child. It has to be taught.

Hazel: And spanked.

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Blair Waldorf: Witch hunts are my Valium, Serena. I'm just trying to stay calm.

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Roman: [to Blair] It's all the color of Yale. You see?

Blair Waldorf: That's just what I need to perk me up. I couldn't sleep a wink.

Roman: We know. We heard you watching "Gilmore Girls" all night, again.

Blair Waldorf: Oh, I am so better fit for Yale than this Rory.

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Lily van der Woodsen: [to Chuck] Did you really try to buy anthrax with his credit card?

Chuck Bass: The black market isn't what it used to be.

Lily van der Woodsen: And you got him on Megan's list?

Chuck Bass: If only his apartment were few blocks closer to the playground.

Lily van der Woodsen: Look, I understand why you try to do these things, but we have got to do something that is not illegal.

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Blair Waldorf: [on the phone with Serena] What are you doing?

Serena van der Woodsen: I'm just reading the Brown catalog. Oh and I ordered a home dreadlocking kit. Want to meet up later?

Blair Waldorf: Definitely. Maybe we can get a jump-start on your veganism.

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Chuck Bass: [to Lily] I can't believe you. You're actually going to take your half-price hustler out on the town tonight.

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Blair Waldorf: [to Miss Carr about her assignment] This is a B.

Rachel Carr: Yes, it is.

Blair Waldorf: You're new here, so you don't know how it works.

Rachel Carr: I have a feeling you're about to explain.

Blair Waldorf: Second semester seniors get a free pass, like pregnant ladies or 14-year-old Chinese gymnasts. Constance wants their students to get into the best colleges. That's why this free pass exists. The headmistress, if she knew about this grade, she'd rap you on the wrist.

Rachel Carr: Maybe in time, I'll get in trouble for not inflating grades like everyone else, Miss Waldorf, but until then, I'll give them based on merit.

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Nate Archibald: [about Vanessa] I saw a DVD of 'The Ring Cycle' at her house and I figured she might like some champagne in my family's box.

Dan Humphrey: Yeah, that's good, that's good. Don't tell her you saw that DVD though, because I pointed it out once and she made me watch the whole thing with no sub-titles. If you've ever seen "A Clockwork Orange" then you know how that ended up.

Nate Archibald: What's a clockwork orange?

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Dan Humphrey: [to Serena] Yale day. I thought we could walk to school together for support. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. I'll end up in the right place. But what if I don't get in?

Serena van der Woodsen: Forget you. What if I do and Blair doesn't?

Dan Humphrey: Fire and brimstone, a lot of bitchy asides. Death by Dorota.

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Dan Humphrey: That's Miss Carr? I guess she has Benjamin Button syndrome.

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Gossip Girl: [voice-over] They say it's not over until the fat lady sings. But who's that, here, turning up in the wings? Sorry, B. I think it's curtains.

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Serena van der Woodsen: Well, if you're on a witch hunt, that means you can't be too upset, right?

Blair Waldorf: Witch hunts are my Valium, Serena. I'm just trying to stay calm.

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Lily van der Woodsen: [sighs] The bastard is untouchable.

Chuck Bass: Well, what should we do?

Lily van der Woodsen: Time to get dirty, I'm all ears.

Chuck Bass: Let me educate you.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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