Blair Waldorf: I wanted a Harry Winston choker for my birthday. Instead I got a conscience.
Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Poor little orphan Jenny, looks like she needs a Daddy Warbucks, but Daddy Warbucks don't grow on trees. At least on a tree that grows in Brooklyn.
Serena van der Woodsen: Plenty of women have been both lover and muse to famous artists. Like Picasso.
Blair Waldorf: Serena, a guy starts out in his blue period and everything's great. But it's only a matter of time until he's all into cubism and it's some other girl's eye coming out of her forehead.
Serena van der Woodsen: Okay, I'm going to go.
Blair Waldorf: Wait, what about the gnome? I have to take him down!
Blair Waldorf: He's totally unsuitable.
Serena van der Woodsen: Who?
Blair Waldorf: Cyrus. He's five feet tall. He has a catchphrase. And he's a hugger. I was expecting Cary Grant and I got Danny DeVito!
Blair Waldorf: You're still here.
Cyrus Rose: I sent my driver to dinner because I thought I would be at the party ringing in your birthday.
Blair Waldorf: You threw in the towel rather easily. I expected a harder fight.
Cyrus Rose: I'm smart enough to know that getting into a war with Eleanor's daughter is never gonna result in a victory.
Blair Waldorf: So, you retreated with dignity.
Cyrus Rose: Who says I gave up?
Blair Waldorf: Oh my god. You out maneuvered me. You deliberately let me win, counting on the fact that Cyndi Lauper would prey on my emotions.
Cyrus Rose: I'm a lawyer. I do think a few moves ahead. Some of us can't rely entirely on our looks, you know.
Blair Waldorf: Well done.
Cyrus Rose: Not enough!
Blair Waldorf: Fine. You're a genius. You better be good to my mother, or I'll be coming for you.
Cyrus Rose: Those are fair terms.
Blair Waldorf: Now, come upstairs and stand next to me while I tell my mom the whole truth about The Golden Lion. She'll be furious with me. So, I may need an attorney.
Cyrus Rose: Oh!
[Cyrus hugs Blair. Blair grimaces, smiles, then shakes her head]
Blair Waldorf: You're not what I had in mind.
Cyrus Rose: Well, you're not what I had in mind.
Blair Waldorf: Dorota, are you insane?
Dorota: I don't know.
Blair Waldorf: You used the everyday china. Cyrus will think we're just common upper-middle class. Get the Auberge and hurry up!
Aaron Rose: Well, I'm seeing lots of people. I don't know how it works in high school, but I like to date more than one person at a time.
Blair Waldorf: Screw Grace Kelly. I need a scheme.
Dorota: Oh no...
Blair Waldorf: That tiny man must have a secret I can exploit.