Blair Waldorf: I wanted a Harry Winston choker for my birthday. Instead I got a conscience.
Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Poor little orphan Jenny, looks like she needs a Daddy Warbucks, but Daddy Warbucks don't grow on trees. At least on a tree that grows in Brooklyn.
Blair Waldorf: Dorota, are you insane?
Dorota: I don't know.
Blair Waldorf: You used the everyday china. Cyrus will think we're just common upper-middle class. Get the Auberge and hurry up!
Aaron Rose: Well, I'm seeing lots of people. I don't know how it works in high school, but I like to date more than one person at a time.
Blair Waldorf: Screw Grace Kelly. I need a scheme.
Dorota: Oh no...
Blair Waldorf: That tiny man must have a secret I can exploit.
Serena van der Woodsen: Plenty of women have been both lover and muse to famous artists. Like Picasso.
Blair Waldorf: Serena, a guy starts out in his blue period and everything's great. But it's only a matter of time until he's all into cubism and it's some other girl's eye coming out of her forehead.
Serena van der Woodsen: Okay, I'm going to go.
Blair Waldorf: Wait, what about the gnome? I have to take him down!
Blair Waldorf: How can you possibly love Cyrus? He's all the things you hate! He uses the wrong fork, he slurps his soup, he wears sport socks! He is short, and pushy! He's nothing like daddy.
Blair Waldorf: He's totally unsuitable.
Serena van der Woodsen: Who?
Blair Waldorf: Cyrus. He's five feet tall. He has a catchphrase. And he's a hugger. I was expecting Cary Grant and I got Danny DeVito!
Blair Waldorf: You're still here.
Cyrus Rose: I sent my driver to dinner because I thought I would be at the party ringing in your birthday.
Blair Waldorf: You threw in the towel rather easily. I expected a harder fight.
Cyrus Rose: I'm smart enough to know that getting into a war with Eleanor's daughter is never gonna result in a victory.
Blair Waldorf: So, you retreated with dignity.
Cyrus Rose: Who says I gave up?
Blair Waldorf: Oh my god. You out maneuvered me. You deliberately let me win, counting on the fact that Cyndi Lauper would prey on my emotions.
Cyrus Rose: I'm a lawyer. I do think a few moves ahead. Some of us can't rely entirely on our looks, you know.
Blair Waldorf: Well done.
Cyrus Rose: Not enough!
Blair Waldorf: Fine. You're a genius. You better be good to my mother, or I'll be coming for you.
Cyrus Rose: Those are fair terms.
Blair Waldorf: Now, come upstairs and stand next to me while I tell my mom the whole truth about The Golden Lion. She'll be furious with me. So, I may need an attorney.
Cyrus Rose: Oh!
[Cyrus hugs Blair. Blair grimaces, smiles, then shakes her head]
Blair Waldorf: You're not what I had in mind.
Cyrus Rose: Well, you're not what I had in mind.