- Shannon: I think Freddie is cute and smart.
- Sam Puckett: Okay. What did you eat for breakfast, a big bowl of crazy flakes?
- Reuben: [standing behind Sam] There's my raspberry soccer ball.
- Sam Puckett: And speaking of crazy flakes, it's you!
- Sam Puckett: So, listen, you guys wanna be on the next iCarly?
- Shannon: Really?
- Celine: What are we gonna do?
- Sam Puckett: Well, let's just say one of you is gonna win a date with an awesome guy.
- Shannon: Freddie?
- Sam Puckett: I said awesome guy, not "ridiculous goob."
- Reuben: [to Sam] You don't need bubble wrap to know when it's chowder time.
- Sam: Yes. That is so true. And you know what else is true? I'm sitting here eating cheesecake with an Australian eskimo whose got ointment all over his bumbleberry.
- Reuben: [looks disgusted] Oh, I can't believe you just said that to me!
- [runs off]
- Spencer Shay: [Spencer's dating video] If you're looking for a fun creative guy, well, you just took a right turn down lucky street. Why don't you go ahead and put it in Park? Send me an e-mail. Write it, click it, send it...
- [throws a baseball, and accidentally breaks a goldfish bowl]
- Carly: "You just took a right turn down lucky street?" That doesn't make a girl want to e-mail you. That makes a girl want to go... Bleah! Bleah! Bleah!...