- Dr. Horrible: And by the way it's not about making money, it's about taking money. Destroying the status quo because the status is not quo. The world is a mess and I just need to rule it.
- Dr. Horrible: A lot of guys ignore the laugh, and that's about standards. I mean, if you're gonna get into the Evil League of Evil, you have to have a memorable laugh. What, do you think Bad Horse didn't work on his whinny? His terrible death-whinny?
- Captain Hammer: Stand back everyone, nothing here to see. Just imminent danger and in the middle of it me. Yes, Captain Hammer's here, hair blowing in the breeze. The day needs my saving expertise. Man's got to do what a man's got to do. Seems destiny ends with me saving you. The only doom that's looming is in loving me to death. I'll give you a second to catch your breath.
- Dr. Horrible: Hey, didn't you, uh, didn't you go on a date last night? Conflict Diamond told me you were doubling with Bait and Switch.
- Moist: Yeah.
- Dr. Horrible: Yeah?
- Moist: It was alright. I kinda thought I was supposed to end up with Bait, but...
- Dr. Horrible: I hear ya. I saw Penny today.
- Moist: You talk to her?
- Dr. Horrible: So close. Just a few weeks away from a real audible connection.
- Penny: I was wondering if - if I could just... Hey, I know you.
- Dr. Horrible: Hello. You know me? Cool. I mean - yeah, you do... Do you?
- Penny: From the laundry mat.
- Dr. Horrible: Wednesdays and Saturdays except twice last month you skipped the weekend. Or if that was you, could have been someone else - I mean I've seen you...
- Dr. Horrible: I saw Penny today.
- Moist: You talked to her?
- Dr. Horrible: So close. Just a few weeks away from a real audible connection.
- Dr. Horrible: No response, BTW, from the League. But my application is strong this year. A letter of condemnation from the deputy mayor - that's got to have some weight. So... fingers crossed!
- Dr. Horrible: [responding to e-mails] Here's one from our good friend, Johnny Snow: "Dr. Horrible, I see you are once again afriad to do battle with your arch nemesis! I waited at Dooley Park for forty-five minutes..." Ok, *dude*, you are *not* my nemesis! My nemesis is Captain Hammer. Captain Hammer, corporate tool!... dislocated my shoulder... *again*... last week... Look, I'm just trying to change the world, ok? I don't have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka! Besides, there's kids in that park, so...