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As a reader of the books, I was sorely disappointed with the movie. The first movie was nothing more than glorified fan-service, and I was truly hoping they would rectify that with New Moon...unfortunately, it's even worse. Between the unnecessarily copious amounts of half-naked teenagers running around who aren't attractive at all, and the poorly delivered script, I could hardly stand New Moon. The books that Meyer crafted were passable in that they told a story - a ridiculous and unrealistic story, but a story nonetheless. These series of movies so far are all about crazy hormone-driven "teens" who can't act worth a damn. Honestly, it's porn for adolescent and teen girls who are too cowardly and so far detached from reality to get a real boyfriend. Your time and money is far better spent elsewhere, and I regret bringing along my boyfriend when we could have done far more entertaining things that night.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
The entire series is the biggest joke in the history of film making. It
is a Hollywood disaster made famous by fanatical teens that clearly
support the further abomination of society. The production value of New
Moon is better than the original Twilight, but the two dimensional
acting and dull storyline is comical at best. The only true validation
with regards to this movie is any formal spoof made on it's behalf. But
take this into consideration:
There is a line said by soon to be gone actor Taylor Lautner in about the third quarter of the film where he raises his voice to Ashley Greene's character and says "...or I could get very angry." I thought this was a joke. Did they not do multiple takes of this scene? This is the best they could come up with?
Not to mention, they have completely ruined all vampire allegory and novel adaptation for a solid decade if not an entire generation. A sparkly vampire that runs fast? This is so irrelevant and incoherent.
There is no plot. It's just a two hour long pathetic teenage girl fantasy about having these strong, immortal vampire/werewolf boys protecting and running after you like whipped chiwawas doing whatever you want them to do as long as you look a little sad. Totally pointless and shallow.
This movie should be put in the "smut for old pedophilic women" section where it belongs. Or they could have let the vampire and the werewolf ravage Kirsten Stewart and won a few AVN awards.
KEEP NEW MOON AS FAR AWAY FROM YOUR KIDS AS POSSIBLE!
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
OK, so I knew this movie was going to be bad you knew it was going to
be bad but I honestly didn't think any film could consist of no
positive notes whatsoever. Some films don't have a great plot or
require some character development but have great CGI to show for. 'New
Moon' lacked substance, quality, artistry, the plot layout; soundtrack
and actors were terrible and didn't deliver any flare whatsoever to an
already long winding and dull basic story telling ploy.
The movie began with Bella waking up next to a giant 'Romeo & Juliet' novel on her pillow immediately got me thinking this director is 'highly' skilled in the art of subtlety. The fact that they're even trying to draw any parallels to a classic love story is, in my opinion slightly offensive as there was no development of love between the Twilight characters other than the superficial physical attraction. The whole 2hour 'New Moon' intensely follows Bella (Stewart) as she morosely goes about her day since Edward Cullen (Pattinson) left her. Which goes to show Bella is a whining, dependant, selfish and frankly stupid character as she disregards her family's and friends' feelings to become an adrenaline seeking suicidal tool to induce her hallucinations of Cullen. This is not someone who can be classified as a heroin in today's empowering and independent society and if the youth can't relate to this character, what is the point of dedicating an entire film on an uninteresting, miserable and superficial teenage girl!?! If I wanted to observe an emotionally insane teenage girl, I would've tailed my cousin's ass for two hours.
The cheesy dialogue and absolutely appalling acting gave me a skin-crawling-eye-rolling-dry-heaving uncomfortable experience. Pattinson's inappropriately painful expression for the whole 20minutes he was featured in the movie was confusing to watch, he had the same constipated stricken look for every situation. Lautner did nothing but act cool and expressionless for the first half of the movie, then prance around shirtless (with the same expression) for the rest and Stewart's performance was atrocious! Batting eyelashes and stuttering in a monotone bored voice does not denote fear! (Yes, I'm talking about the scene when she announce "please don't" after a hungry red-eyed vampire just called her 'mouth watering') I don't know whether it's their acting or the director's request but someone should tell those kids to learn new expressions for different scenes! Let's not kid ourselves here ladies; we all went to see this horrid movie for the abs, it was all about the abs! The wolves pack were only in jean shorts for the entire duration of the movie and Pattinson even flashed his nipples and airbrushed six pack for the last half hour. It was hilarious to see women swoon over baby-faced Jacob's (Lautner) ripped muscles like he was on the cover of a Mills & Boons novel when he unnecessarily took off his shirt and flexed his muscles because Bella bumped her head. I actually recommend this film for its superficiality if abs is the only thing you're after in a film. Otherwise strictly Twilight crazed fans only.
I'll end by mentioning my favourite scene. You know how comedies have characters run through a serene and peaceful setting in slow motion to poke fun at certain situations as seen in Shrek and 40 Yr old Virgin? Well, New Moon manged to incorporate this classically amusing scene into a serious segment of the film. This left me in stitches and made me wonder if Stephanie Meyer really wrote these cheesy scenes or the director has once again made matters much worse by turning a adolescent fantasy into a childish comedy.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I wonder... have I seen the actual movie or some "behind the scenes"
footage ? Everything seems like a joke, like they didn't even try and
they failed every time. The story ? What story ? Is there a story ?
things just happen and happen, transitions are as abrupt as they can
possibly be. The only constant is Bella and her terrible terrible
acting and whining and screaming throughout the movie and edward who
thankfully isn't on the screen as much. Pattinson seems like he's some
drug addict who was just waken up early after a heavy night to do some
scenes. The same for Kirsten who can't act for crap.
The movie begins with some slow-mo pictorial of Pattinson, things are going fairly well between the characters and then out of nowhere he has to go. Then there is this subplot or something that takes up like half or more of the movie, about bella's depression, that jacob kid and that redheaded vampire that wants to kill Bella. Then magically she disappears and some other things start to happen. There is no continuity whatsoever. Most of what I think is the main plot happens briefly over the last 10 minutes of the film. It's like they said, OK let's take a 2 hr pictorial of bella,jacob and edward and then just throw in some kind of a plot in the last 10 minutes. I really can't describe how bad this "movie" is. But I can't blame them for making it though, teenage girls would pay to see it even if the movie would show edward and jacob sleeping for the entire runtime.
First of all: I did not read the books. When I thought about seeing this movie I was aware about the possibility of a piece of pure bad acting, so I went to the cinema with a really and truthful feeling of detachment...nothing would ever surprise me! Indeed, the things went as I have predicted: it was one good show of bad acting! Although the movie was bad, my low expectations turn it kind of bearable, even entertaining...I found myself laughing during the "dramatic scenes" as Robert put his forced expressions to the limit! In the other way, Kristen have turned better then I've expected! She has done a near good work (forgetting the frequent blinking). At least she seemed sad when it was suppose to! By the way: is there anything more ridiculous then seeing guys on steroids without shirt during a movie about love overcoming all the obstacles? I would tolerate a scene or two, but that much time of abs and what else? I don't know!!!! Just disgusting! So, generally it was bad, but some things went kind of well: like the fact of Robert being away most of the time! The thing is: see the movie, but be aware of what you might find!!!
There are times when critics do exaggerate their love (or in this case)
their hate for movies. I can honestly say Twilight New Moon is one of
the most awful and boring movies I have ever seen. It's like Meet The
Spartans or Disaster Movie, I don't care if it has a 'target audience',
if you actually enjoy this movie, then there's obviously something very
wrong. Where to start? The acting is just horrendous, Kristen Stewart
and Robert Pattinson are just the most untalented turds on screen in
cinema at the moment. Every bit of dialogue is provided with soap opera
un-enthusiasm, almost like watching a very bad play.
This is a great movie to ridicule and mock with a bunch of friends. The screen play is in-excusable direction is flat in is just so dark and hard to follow I actually had a migraine brewing. Hunks with the t- shirts off parading, surrounded by crap CGI and just a concept that is just an utter waste. Stop this franchise here!
Overall: An in-excusable mockery of cinema. Easily one of the worst movies to appear in one of the worst franchisees of all time. Eye candy for 9 year old girls, and a cash in for corporate pigs. This Ends Now!
I don't even know where to begin for this review as I was so extremely
disappointed by New Moon, the latest Twilight chapter. I saw the first
episode of the Saga recently because everywhere I turned there was an
article or pictures of Robert Pattinson and I wanted to see what all
the hype was about. I enjoyed it, thought it was original and saw how
it could appeal to a younger generation. I wasn't hooked and didn't
necessarily feel the "twilight mania" but nevertheless wanted to see
what would happen next and decided to watch the second installment. I
even had some slight anticipation, and Fabio had lots (but shhhh that's
What an enormous letdown for both of us. Instead of building off of some of the tension and interesting elements of the first film, the sequel's plot is quasi non existent and the acting has managed to get worse. You hardly see Edward (Robert Pattinson), Bella's vampire love, as he leaves her early on in the film. He decides it is best for Bella if he and his family move out of Forks to spare her the danger of their presence. Bella is heartbroken and goes through a major teenage lovesick depression. The film then focuses on her childhood Indian friend Jacob Black in whom she tries to find comfort while still longing for Edward. But without wanting to give too much away, Jacob has some pretty bizarre secrets of his own...
The special effects are decent, the wolves quite cool, but the action sequences seem fake, there are no explanations for anything, no character development. The movie jumps from one scene to the next, particularly at the end, and I don't have other words and will not sugercoat it- this movie is stupid. I was hoping to feel some love and passion between Bella and Edward and the result was zero. This movie is a big, huge flop. Let's hope the next one is better and that people will still want to see it after this vampire and wolf wreck.
My rating: 2/10 Fabio's: 2/10 Total score: 4/20 For more movie reviews please check out and become a follower at: http://paulinasmovies.blogspot.com
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
When I saw Twilight last year, I hadn't read any of the books. When I
saw New Moon last night, I'd read at least two of them. Since I don't
fit into the teen, female demographic they're aimed at, I was
unimpressed. Stephanie Meyer is the JK Rowling of vampire fiction. A
bland, unremarkable writer who had one idea in her life that led to
But when I watched Twilight, since I hadn't read any of them, it didn't come with any baggage attached. So I was prepared to look at it with an unbiased eye. But I found Twilight rather overrated, even before I picked up any of the books. It only seemed half a good film. It worked well enough when Bella was trying to crack the mystery that was Edward Cullen. But when it came to the vampire side of the story, it was tame and toothless. Something I blamed on the certificate (12A) originally. Only to find that director Catherine Hardwicke was just being faithful to the book.
When the film became a global phenomenon, Hollywood rushed into production the rest of the series. Hoping to start a new franchise along the lines of a Harry Potter or a Lord of the Rings. Having already endured the dull read that was New Moon, I walked into the cinema with the naive belief that the film would rise above it and turn in a far more enjoyable sequel. But one had a sinking feeling about New Moon when I discovered it was made by Chris Weitz.
Weitz had already ruined one great fantasy novel with The Golden Compass. An excellent book with a rich, fully realised culture all its own destroyed by someone with no feel or affinity for the text. After The Golden Compass bankrupted New Line Cinema, that should have made Weitz unemployable. Why Meyer would trust him to lay a finger on New Moon is anyone's guess?
New Moon isn't quite the disaster The Golden Compass was, but its still a disappointment. Weitz has stayed faithful to the book, but therein lies the problem. Like TGC, he recreates scenes on a page without the flavour to animate it. And because Stephanie Meyer has given him a dull story to tell its a dull film as well.
Where Edward and Bella's romance was the heart of Twilight, New Moon takes us in many directions. After one of Edward's family almost puts the bite on Bella on her 18th birthday, the Cullen clan uproot and head for safer pastures. Bella falls into misery, but also falls into the company of a pack of werewolves. And when she gets attracted to they're dangerous lifestyle, it summons up visions of her beloved Edward. Leading her to take more and more dangerous gambles with her life.
For all its faults, at least Twilight was about something. It was a tighter, more focused film. Held back by a weedy certificate and a prosaic author. The problem with New Moon is it tries to do many things that all add up to no purpose. Like we never find out what is causing Bella's visions of Edward. Whether its some magic ability on his part. Or has Bella's grief become hallucinatory?
The film brings back Victoria, the vamp from Twilight baying for Bella's blood. She wants to kill Bella to avenge the death of her lover. But the film introduces her, and then just forgets about her. That would have made a far more substantial story, and lent the film a dynamic it desperately lacks. To clutter things even further, we get a trip to Italy where we meet the Volturi, a rival tribe of vampires. It even drafts in great performers like Michael Sheen and a grown up Dakota Fanning and criminally gives them little to do.
One of the reasons I anticipated New Moon with some enthusiasm was because I knew it gave Kristen Stewart the chance to take centre stage. I've always been a great admirer of Stewart. Ever since her tough, intelligent debut in Panic Room. Compared to glamour models that pass for actresses, Kristen Stewart actually has acting ability, as well as good looks. I was interested to see what she would do with Bella.
But again, Chris Weitz doesn't give his cast a chance to do anything. Stewart is saddled with a boring plot where it just requires her to mope after Edward for much of the running time. And her relationship with Taylor Lautner is woefully unconvincing. He's completely wooden and never fills the role of a werewolf with anything approaching conviction.
New Moon pushes the fantastical element more then the first film did. We get a few gimmicky special effects shots and some full blooded werewolf fights but I always knew they were CGI. Like TGC, Chris Weitz just doesn't have a flair for special effects, and can't direct them without drawing attention to how false they are.
New Moon is also annoyingly geared towards The Twilight Saga's bread and butter... A young, female audience. Most of the male leads swagger in slow motion, take off their shirts regularly and proudly show off their buffed bodies and sculpted abs. Even Robert Pattinson is guilty of this. Its a disgusting tactic purely designed to appeal to a slavish fanbase.
New Moon ends on a cliffhanger, but not one I'm dying to know the outcome of. If it had focused on one single aspect of its story instead of trying to juggle them all like a circus act, it might have made for a better film. Since each one gets a short shrift, it winds up being more a tangle of disconnected strands then a story we can care much about.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I'll admit, when I saw the first Twilight film, I wasn't going to give
it a fair shake. I was surprised that it wasn't awful, it at least at
decent cinematography. I sat through mediocrity, much as I do with a
majority of movies. It wasn't anything special. I went into New Moon
the same way, I wasn't disappointed.
This was a horrible movie. The plot was inane drivel with souless acting all around. The only character I felt for was Jacob, as he was being friend zoned from the start. Bella is a selfish c*** who will do anything and use anyone to get back with her equally selfish "vampire" boyfriend. Jacob bends over backwards for this incredibly bland girl with nothing to offer and time after time is reminded that he won't be getting anything from her. When he leaves, she is distraught, but not because she truly loves him. No, it's because she doesn't have a b**** to take her mind off of Eddy. I would have given anything to have seen her die a horrific death. Even when Eddy and Bella get back together, Ed keeps conspiring to get rid of the person he "loves" the most, because he doesn't want the hassle. The funny thing is, he hasn't gotten anything from her either. The only reason he is attracted to her is because of her pungent smell. That alone should tell you this relationship is super f***ed up from the get go. I fail to understand why two guys are fighting over such a person.
So when I see the fan reaction and the records it is breaking...I just don't get. Do all girls eat up garbage like this? I can only assume the books are better, as is usually the case. Still, you have to call a bad movie when you see it. The only positive is that there's only two movies left. In two years, the craze will die and we can move onto the next irritating thing. It'll probably be the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Or Snorks.
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