The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) Poster

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1/10
Worst movie and actors ever win MTV Movie Awards
londonmarcos6 June 2010
Warning: Spoilers
The MTV Movie Awards just ended and the worst movie that I've ever seen, New Moon, won the main Awards: Best Movie, best actress (Kristen Stewart) and best actor (Robert Pattinson). MTV is destroying young people's brain all over the world but specially in America. I feel very sorry for the new generation.

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson performances in both Twilight movies are by far the worst that I've seen in my 3 decades of life.

Ahh, The couple with less chemistry in the whole World also won the Best Kiss award. Good Lord!!

Congratulations on the "awards"! LOL
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3/10
A never-ending stream of awkward moments
deathscythe_4220 November 2009
I will preface this review by saying that I have not read any of the twilight books, but I did watch the first movie before going to see this film, and I am looking at the series purely from a cinematic stand-point.

That being said, I thought this movie was a massive failure. The entire movie was very slow, long, and awkward. As I was watching it, it really felt like I was just watching a very long book unfold on screen, rather than a movie that is BASED on a book. To die-hard fans of the book, this could be considered a good thing, because all the fans really wanted to see was a movie that depicted all of the events of the book and followed it closely. By what I heard from book fans it seemed to have succeeded in that regard, but that is not at all to the film's credit. The film just moved from one scene to the next as if it was counting off a large check-list of scenes that the fans wanted to see, most of which just consisted of very uncomfortable and boring one-on-one dialogues. The film had very little momentum, and was tedious to watch. This was mostly due to the structure and pacing of the film but also due to the characters.

To be fair, some of the characters were likable, but they had very little chemistry. I already didn't quite believe Bella and Edward were in love in the first twilight. In this one I would flat out argue with Stephenie Meyer herself that the two characters were not in love. Their relationship was stiff, there seemed to be no real emotions between them, it merely consisted of silence, staring, and Edward randomly throwing out gooey love phrases like "you are my everything" and "i didn't wanna live in a world where you didn't exist" that just come out sounding hollow. There was a little more chemistry between Bella and Jacob, but even they were a bit awkward together. It seemed like none of the characters could say two words to each other without a ton of awkward pauses. The conversations were incoherent and annoying. There was a little bit of humor in the dialogue that I admit got some chuckles out of me, but even that came out of the awkwardness between all of the characters.

There were, however, a few welcome releases from the snail-like dialogue. Cinematically it had a few semi-redeeming moments. The score was likable, and a couple of scenes were artistically shot, but even so it was nothing that would deserve a best cinematography or best director nomination. The other well-needed break from the awkwardness came in the action scenes. They were very few and far between, and rather incoherent with the rest of the film, but they were enjoyable. The wolves were obviously CG in a lot of shots, but then there were some shots where they actually looked pretty real, and they were presented pretty well. They could have done a bit better job of foreshadowing them but hey at this point in the movie i was willing to accept what I could get. There was also a more intense scene near the end that I won't spoil that I thought was fairly well-done.

All in all, I did enjoy a few scenes in this movie, but as a whole it was slow, incoherent, poorly acted, and a bit uncomfortable. If you're a die-hard fan of the book, there's a chance you'll love it but if you're looking for a truly cinematic experience, this isn't it.

3 stars out of 10
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3/10
What is wrong with people?! So bad, so bad
emmarustadlyvik26 June 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Alright. I am 15. And a girl. And this doesn't work for me at all. This movie is so horrible that it's sad. I hear my friends talk about Twilight and how wonderful the books and movies are, and I had to check them out. The first film was OK, but not better than it's rated. And then I sat down and saw this one, and..well, I will actually say it's OVERrated. The only good thing about this one is when Taylor Lautner smiles and takes off his shirt. Nothing else, and that is embarrassing. They can't act, especially this..Kirsten. I mean, I had to ask my friend if she was supposed to be so..cold, and without any feelings at all. And yes, she was, because she was so shy and didn't like any attention. But I don't see her acting, really. She shows just as much acting skills and emotions like Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man. She doesn't have any passion, it looks like she's bored. And yes, Robert Pattinson is way better than her, but there's still a long way to Tom Hanks. In my opinion, the acting are one of the reasons this doesn't work out. Even though the chemistry between Robert and Kirsten is impressive.

Second of all, the film is rather boring. You (finally) get to the plot when there's left 30 minutes of the movie or so. And before the plot, it's very much "oh, my life sucks, I feel abandon, I'm just gonna sit here, being very deep and feel sorry for myself." And of course, there's a little struggle in her head. "Which one of them should I choose?". Cliché. Cliché big time. You have seen this before, with better actors and without vampires.

And yes, the plot. Saving Edward from certain death. And they fight a little, smashing each other to the walls. I usually cheer when people fight in movies, but I get bored of the fighting as well. I don't get that "Oh, this is exiting, I wanna know who's winning even though I already know it"-feeling.

So. Touching story, if you like that kind of story, great music, somewhat OK special effects. But I really don't understand why people say this is good? What is wrong with those little teenage girls? This movie is pathetic. It's boring. So please, stay away from it. Rent (500) Days of Summer on DVD if you have to watch a romantic movie.
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3/10
So BAD I find it funny
David Cox19 November 2009
I've read all the books. I know what happens. This never ruins a film for me.

I didn't want to see this film because the previous one was lacking in... well... everything. But girlfriend wanted to see it. I went in and was instantly surprised to see the demographic had widened past 12-16 year old girls who instantly swoon at any even remotely hot guy so that was interesting. It's not relevant to how good the film was- it just reaffirmed to me (and should to all of you) that hating a series on principle or having preconceived notions of how bad something will be is unfair on it.

Not in this case. It was still bad. BUT worth the money I payed to see it because though it most definitely not intended to be entertaining in the way I found it. It was full of melodramatic dialogue and bad acting which, if you take ANY Drama classes at school- Which Robert DIDN'T- you'll notice certain things about how people deliver lines. You notice how they're SAYING lines they have memorised with unnatural and stylised emphasis on the key words in the sentences without giving the (cheesy) dialogue depth or realism. Quite simply, it was so terrible I found myself resisting the urge to burst out laughing in a room full of fans who were probably misinterpreting the melodrama as "Good, emotional drama." No. This film is ridiculous.

As it goes further on it gets less tightly stitched together and I had to become reliant on my knowledge of the books to fill in and pick up the slight gaps in dialogue and plot. They would say things that are based on something that didn't happen on screen (probably deleted scene for time) or their dialogue would just be terrible unrealistic lines that are work as standalone ones for a trailer but in conversation it seems like they're jumping slightly just to get to say something that is dramatic without it actually making too much sense.

BUT! It does have SOME redeeming qualities! The melodrama wasn't nonstop hilarity so thankfully something else held my attention. There was actual effort put into this film. The fight scenes actually used REAL special effects (something the first film was a bit cheap on) which actually looked kinda impressive. Any action was short lived unfortunately but what little there was, they did a reasonable job with.

I was impressed at the presence of transition. The previous film jumped and skipped and the next plot point just WAS without having been caused. This film (until near the end, of course) actually had a pace and a coherency to it that allows you to understand it without reading the books. This is a bonus. Certain things you'd think would drag on as the director tries to give you time to let the "emotion" "sink in" thankfully didn't take forever and the entire movie fit almost snuggly into its 2 hour length. Too bad it fell apart more and more it went along.

The film also shares the semi-awkward character interactions that create the same humour as the first one. Not as deliberately funny as the first one (though, as I said, it was pretty hilarious when it wasn't meant to be) though.

Though it was many failings with only a few things to back it up as being a reasonable film it will definitely make all you little teenage girls out there desperate to see Jacob's hell tanked up body very happy. You can HEAR the audience's reaction the first time Jacob takes his shirt off. He's got all you need: Pecs, biceps, ABS OF STEEL and minimal clothing. Too bad he lacks depth and real character. (Girls love obsessively devoted Zombies, they don't think enough to complain) It is NO WAY even NEAR one of the best films of 2009. NO ONE should say this ridiculous claim.

Really tossing up between 3 and 4 stars. Mmm. I guess a movie's highlight shouldn't be how low it sinks. 3.
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1/10
Embarrassing
sunsetshoegazer27 February 2010
The first Twilight film was really terrible, and had some moments of unintentional comedy, but this was actually much worse. I spent the entire time just cringing at the poor lines, the acting, the God-awful treatment of mythology, the misogynistic, patriarchal and abusive undertones throughout the film, and the terrible special effects for such a blockbuster series.

A lot of people will dislike so much scorn directed to a film that's just a fun watch - I understand this argument but there's a difference between fun and forgettable and just being complete trash. There are incredibly entertaining movies that aren't Shakespeare but don't actually manage to offend my intelligence and my gender. This isn't one of them. Additionally, popular culture affects our world view more than we can sometimes imagine. Media should be analysed because it's influential.

And it confuses me how this could be so popular. Edward, Bella and Jacob are some of the most unpleasant and unappealing protagonists I've ever encountered in popular fiction. Bella is shallow and yet pretentious, while Edward is controlling and demeaning. These are not people that you would like if one of them wasn't a vampire and the other was snogging them.

One of the worst films I've ever seen, and it's something devoid of both artistic merit and any sort of meaning, message or thought. It really sucks that young women are enjoying this franchise and seeing Edward and Jacob as the ideal love interests.

EDIT: A lot of people giving this film positive reviews are trying to dismiss criticism by saying it's a 'film for the women/girls/ladies'... have any idea how much that furthers stereotypes? I know more than one guy who loves Twilight, and more than one girl who loves *enter generic action movie which people think only men like*. Come on people move behind this shallow 'Boys like this girls like that' already. Popular culture should be analysed, and it sucks if you think just because it's developed for one gender in mind it gets some sort of free pass for being sexist, badly written, poorly acted drivel. It sucks if you think this sort of tripe should be 'for the girls'. Another card being played is the 'Is Romeo and Juliet bad because its unrealistic?' question. Romeo and Juliet, though, is about the tragedy and immaturity of the two young lovers. The relationship fails and ends in such disaster because of the way they rushed and were consumed by lust. And it's one of Shakespeare's most heavily critiqued plays - a lot of people have criticised it. So if the Bard himself is not above disapproval then why should something like this be exempt?
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1/10
Best thing I could say was it's a chick flick (no offence meant ladies!)
roy-583-45325023 November 2009
Well, my lovely lady wife has been waiting for this movie since Twilight, and is a huge fan of the books, I thought I would keep her company. We saw the Twilight when it first came out, and I wasn't really impressed with that, so though, hey ho, go in with low expectations and hopefully I would be surprised.

The only problem was, I don't think I could have expected less and still been as bored as I was.

When in the theatre I was probably the oldest male at 37, apart from some dads that had been brought along by their kids, and several boyfriends, which is fair as I guess the film is aimed at the younger ladies than us old folks.

So, we sat down and I waited for anything to happen, well anything really. There was no chemistry at all between the leading actors, just a dull numbness which left me bored, I really don't know how Kristen Stewart got the role as she's possibly the most boring actress around and added nothing to the film at all, unless I guess she was just asked to play a spoilt brat with no brain.

I thought, maybe there is some suspense? Nope, none of that either. Bella does a very good job of not really showing any emotion either way and where in Twilight you there was at least a couple of times it made you think "something good might happen" there wasn't really a single moment in this film that stood out, although I was at some point expecting to see the teleprompter which some of the actors looked like they might have been using, so wooden was the performance.

It's a shame really that the other film I have seen recently "UP" you feel more attachment to the characters in that, than you do to the actors in this.

Yes, the CGI was good, the Wolves were pretty great. But like in 2012, throw a lot of money at CGI and be amazed, but that's about it. There so many little bits of story that really didn't seem to do anything, it really reminded me of another film directed by this lovely director, Golden Compass anyone?? All in all, pretty much a letdown, and that's with low expectations, if felt like just another suck on the wallet by Hollywood to our pockets.

If you are thinking of this film, and really if you read most of the reviews on this site I can't imagine why, wait until it comes onto DVD. Rent it for £1 and you can get a couple of cheap laughs at the acting, and for the ladies, buff men, apart from that give it a miss.
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2/10
The Twilight Saga: Teenage Porn
Kristine20 November 2009
Warning: Spoilers
It's that time again: Twilight! Ever since last year's release of the mega-successful movie Twilight, our lives have not been the same. With a new director on our hands, Chris Weitz, I actually had hopes for New Moon. Last year with all the screaming fans, Twilight has turned many off. It also made vampires into a joke, New Moon had potential to give the series some life. Unfortunately, we got trash. Not only vampires are a joke to this story, but these movies are a joke and an embarrassment to cinema. I'm trying to not be cruel, because I honestly feel so sorry for this cast, since they don't have much material to work with. For God's sake they have lines like "Your breathing is my gift", "You don't belong in my world", and "I couldn't live in a world without you existing". How could you work with soap opera lines like that? Not to mention, more than 80% of the film is 5 buff meaty guys in jean shorts, which I'm above those jokes, but I was expecting as they walked on screen "Gonna Make You Sweat" was going to play in the background. It seems like this was teenage porn for a while because every girl in the theater kept going crazy with Jacob's 6, no, 12 pack abs exposed. It seems like every chance the director got, he had to make the little girls happy by exploiting these young actors.

The characters are another problem: Bella, Edward and Jacob. I've read the books, Bella never intrigued me. But while last film she was just flat, this film I wanted to kill her. She's 18, now granted I know that she'll probably never find another vampire boyfriend who's so creepy in love with her, but good God, does this girl need to get a gigantic grip on life. Edward leaves and even Hamlet would tell her to lighten up a bit. She goes into this coma state where she's just obsessed on why her vampire boyfriend doesn't want her. It's more sickening, a bad influence on young girls and pretty pathetic rather than sympathetic. Edward is introduced in this sequel with him walking in slow motion as if a rock star just came on the screen, more to just please the fans and give him an applause. He spends the whole movie pretty much saying how much he loves Bella, how he can't live without her, basically any pre-teen's wet dream that a guy will be that devoted when it's actually more so creepy. While Edward is Bella's boyfriend that sparkles, we have a sensitive werewolf, Jacob. I feel so sorry for him in this movie, Bella basically tags him along, starting to kiss him, but then pulling away, but then rubbing up against him, but then telling him he can't have her problems in his life, but then saying he's beautiful and she loves him.

It's Bella's birthday, fearing her aging process she's having nightmares that she will grow old as Edward will stay young and beautiful. Alice and the other Cullens throw her a surprise birthday party; while opening a gift, Bella accidentally gets a paper cut. When the blood hit's the floor, Jasper goes into a violent state and tries to attack Bella, Edward stops him and saves Bella. After months of Bella begging Edward to change her, Carlisle explains why Edward does not want to take her mortal soul. Realizing the danger he's put her in, Edward has to break up with Bella. He tells her that he doesn't want her and that he and his family will never see her again. Bella goes into a coma practically, spending months inside her home and not seeing her friends. Realizing she could see Edward through adrenaline rushes, she convinces Jacob to fix a couple of motorcycles. As the months pass, her and Jacob grow closer as she starts to fall for him, but of course being Bella, he has a "monstrous" flaw, he's a werewolf. Bella accepts it as she tries to move on with her life, but Alice Cullen comes back saying she had a vision of Bella dying. After a misunderstanding, Edward thinks she's dead too and Alice tells Bella that Edward is about to sacrifice himself for her.

To sum this review up, this movie was made for the fans, which MOSTLY consists of 12-15 year old girls and desperate housewives. I'm not looking to insult anyone here, but after reading the books and seeing these two movies, I feel like my IQ sunk a few points. They insult my intelligence and I will never understand why this story is appealing to anyone. Stephanie Meyer is a genius in some aspect: almost every girl in high school doesn't feel special or just average. How cool would it be to have someone who has lived centuries, who is gorgeous, smart, strong and kind who just thinks you're the ultimate catch? That's what sold these stories and I hate it because it makes these girls fantasize about a world that will never exist. These stories are old and over used and Twilight has overstayed it's welcome. The special effects were awful and the material was just lousy. To be kind to the film, the action sequences are a major improvement over the last film, much more exciting and intense. I could go on forever with this review, but I'm going to save some more of my rant for my friends. While I was very kind with the rating in the first Twilight, I understood it who it was meant for and took it for what it was. This is trash and could have had so much more potential. This movie was made for the fans, so if you're not one, there's a very good chance you're going to agree with everything I said in this review.

2/10
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1/10
This is one movie where a spoof would be far better than the original
donco64 November 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Hard to believe I wasted 3 hours (hey, it was on FX and they jam everything with mega-commercials) of my life watching this tripe.

If I had to watch one more 360-spinning view of Bella sitting somewhere, mourning the loss of Edward, all to the strains of some overwrought teen pop music, I'm quite certain I would have had to run to the bathroom to barf.

NOTHING happens in this movie. You don't need to worry about spoilers because there can't be any.

What I *am* anxious to see is the spoof of this movie, because it will be deadly funny.
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4/10
Bella needs to go potty
poj-man28 October 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I've not read the Twilight books...and I am a 49 year old male...so...I know the demographics are not targeted at me. However, I have no begrudging anyone their success and harbor no ill will towards the Twilight gang. My opinion is that I am "calling as I see 'em."

Technically the film is structured OK. The cinematography is nice and the CGI is fine. To me, though, the film is like the Vampires of true Vampire myth...soul-less.

I see many reviews state that Twilight is "teen porn." I find that I disagree with this assertion. Twilight is more like people who need some porn in their life for there really isn't anyone in Twilight.

For the movie Bella acts like she needs to pee. Like...pee really bad. Bella is in blue jeans and she is so tormented that she is almost constantly bending in her blue jeans like she needs to find a potty quickly.

Bella pines for Edward...and acts like she must pee. She tells Jacob "Don't do this" in such a tortured manner...and acts like she must pee. She exits the car to run to the clock tower not knowing what to do...and she acts like she must pee. That is most definitely not "teen porn."

If mopey, whiny characters who bear no semblance to reality are your fantasy bag then have at it. In this kind of fantasy the characters are all tortured and the nerdy girl who looks like she needs to pee is loved by both vampire and werewolf. In real porn she is enjoying doing both of them at the same time...and she probably has more substance than Bella. Considering how little substance that porn girl is demonstrates how little substance Twilight is.
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3/10
Frustrating
Sjhm13 May 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Truthfully, the CGI is good. Then we come to the real problem; Kirsten Stewart is not the actress to carry Bella off with conviction. It's a shame. Because this film is all about Bella. She is the core of the story, with Edward absent for a significant portion of the film. Without a good core, the cheesy dialogue and long sorrowful glances are just that, cheesy and long, it's impossible to see past them. It takes FOREVER for anything to happen. Happy or sad, suicidal or in a bad mood, it really is impossible to tell. Kirsten's broody look never changes. Scenes which should have some poignancy are simply flat and dull. I know that the character is somewhat thinly written, but really, come on. And then Robert Pattinson comes back in, and he also delivers his lines as though he's reading from a telephone directory. Very disappointing.
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