Marty: Ok, I'm drawing a line in the fucking sand. Do NOT read the Latin!
Curt: [Jules is holding complex textbooks] What are these?
Curt: [angrily] No. I'm serious. What are these?
Jules: I just...
Curt: Where did you learn about this stuff?
Jules: From you, okay? I learned it from watching you!
[Runs out of the room, Curt laughs]
Curt: Read the Gurovsky; it's way more interesting and Bennet doesn't know it by heart so he'll think you're insightful. And you have no pants.
Marty: It was the pioneer days; people had to make their own interrogation rooms. Out of cornmeal.
Dana: Thanks for... being decent.
Holden: Least I could do, since Curt and Jules have sold you to me for marriage.
Lin: Do we pipe it in or do you wanna do it orally?
Sitterson: [closes eyes] Ask me that again only slower.
Mordecai: Cleanse them. Cleanse the world of their ignorance and sin. Bathe them in the crimson of -
Mordecai: Am I on speakerphone?
Hadley: No, no of course not.
Mordecai: Yes I am. I can hear the echo. Take me off. Now.
Hadley: Okay, sorry.
Mordecai: I'm not kidding. It's rude. I don't know who's in the room.
Mordecai: Don't take this lightly, boy. It wasn't all by your 'numbers'; the Fool nearly derailed the invocation with his insolence. Your futures are murky; you'd do well to heed my - I'm still on speakerphone, aren't I?
Hadley: No. You're not. I promise.
Mordecai: Yes I am! Who is that? Who's laughing?
Sitterson: [pounds head on desk laughing hysterically]
Curt: What is that?
[spoken seriously while staring at the lake]
Curt: In the lake, I swear to god I...
Dana: Yeah, right...
Curt: No seriously. Right there. Don't you see it? There. It looks just like my girlfriend.
[pushes Jules into the water]
Sitterson: They have to make the choice of their own free will. Otherwise, system doesn't work. Like the harbinger: creepy old fuck practically wears a sign saying "YOU WILL DIE". Why would we put him there? The system. They have to choose to ignore him. They have to choose what happens in the cellar. yeah, we rig the game as much as we have to but in the end, if they don't transgress they can't be punished.
Wiry Girl: That's not fair! I had zombies too!
Sitterson: Yes, you had "Zombies." But this is "Zombie Redneck Torture Family." Entirely separate thing. It's like the difference between an elephant and an elephant seal.
Sitterson: I'm sorry, man.
Hadley: He had the conch in his hands.
Sitterson: I know. Couple more minutes, who knows what would have happened.
Hadley: I'm never gonna see a merman.
Sitterson: Dude, be thankful. Those things are terrifying. And the cleanup on them's a nightmare.
Hadley: We may as well tell Japan to take the rest of the weekend off.
Sitterson: Yeah, right. They're Japanese. What are they gonna do - relax?
Hadley: I don't know. Maybe they can do some group calisthenics or something.
Marty: I'm gonna read a book with pictures.
Marty: Cutting the flesh makes him have a husband's bulge.
Marty: Good work, zombie arm.
Dana: An army of nightmares, huh? Let's get this party started.
[hits purge button releasing all the monsters]
The Director: This is all most unpleasant. I know you can hear me. I hope you'll listen. You won't get out of this complex alive. What I want you to try to understand is that you mustn't. Your deaths will avert countless others. You've seen horrible things: an army of nightmare creatures. And they are real. But they are nothing compared to what lies beneath us. There is a greater good, and for that you must be sacrificed. Forgive us... and let us end it quickly.
Dana: I'm so sorry I almost shot you. I probably wouldn't have.
Marty: Hey, shh, no. I totally get it. I'm sorry I let you get attacked by a werewolf and then ended the world.
Marty: [after discovering a hidden camera] Oh my god. I'm on a reality TV show. My parents are gonna think I'm such a burnout.
Marty: Statistical fact: Cops will never pull over a man with a huge bong in his car. Why? They fear this man. They know he sees further than they and he will bind them with ancient logics.
Curt: [after being manipulated by nerve gas] This isn't right. We should split up. We can cover more ground that way.
Hadley: Who's still out?
Sitterson: We have Engineering, R.D., and we got Electrical.
Hadley: [laughs] Did you see who they picked? They're practically giving their money away!
Sitterson: You should talk, Aqua Man.
Hadley: What do you mean?
Sitterson: Ah, nothing.
Marty: Okay, my turn! Jules!
Marty: Truth or dare?
Jules: Let's go dare.
Marty: I dare you, to make out with...
Curt: Please say Dana. Please say Dana. Please say Dana.
Marty: That moose, over there.
Dana: Um, Marty? Have you ever seen a moose before?
Marty: Whatever that mysterious beast is?
Curt: It's a wolf.
Holden: That's clearly a wolf.
Marty: [drives up smoking a bong] People in this town drive in a very counterintuitive manner.
Curt: [seeing old gas pump] This thing doesn't take credit cards.
Marty: I don't think it knows about money.
Daniel Truman: [seeing zombies] They're like something from a nightmare.
Lin: No, they're something nightmares are from.
Marty: Yeah, uh, I had to dismember that guy with a trowel. What have you been up to?
Marty: [incredulous] Giant evil gods.
Dana: I wish I could have seen them.
Marty: I know. That would have been a fun weekend.
Hadley: [sighs] These fucking zombies. Remember when you could just throw a girl in a volcano?
Sitterson: How old do you think I am?
Curt: Look, you guys stay in the rambler. I'll get help. If I wipe out, I'll fucking limp for help. But, I'm coming back here. I'm coming back with cops, and choppers, and large fucking guns, and those things are going to pay. For Jules.
Lin: Whatever he's been smoking has been immunizing him to all our shit.
The Director: There's no other way. You have to be strong.
Marty: [sarcastically] Yeah, Dana. You feeling strong?
The Director: You've seen horrible things, an army of nightmare creatures. But they are nothing compared to what came before, what lies below. It's our task to placate the ancient ones, as it's yours to be offered up to them. Forgive us and let us get it over with.