Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime (2009)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Charlie Harper : What's your problem?

  Jake Harper : My problem is you're a sleazeball!

  Charlie Harper : Really. How so?

  Alan Harper : Oh, please. You're in a committed relationship with a wonderful woman and the minute her back is turned, you're out gallivanting.

  Jake Harper : Gallivanting?

  Alan Harper : Screwing around.

  Jake Harper : Why don't you just say screwing around?

  Charlie Harper : Hey! As we speak, Chelsea is out there doing the same thing.

  Alan Harper : Oh, really? She's pouring liquor down the throat of an inebriated party girl?

  Jake Harper : Inebriated?

  Alan Harper : Drunk.

  Jake Harper : Jeez! Who are you showing off for?

• Charlie Harper : [Charlie's girlfriend is out of town, so he proposes that he and Alan and Jake do something together]  So, what's it gonna be? A movie? Bowling? Putt-putt? Nevada cat house?

  Jake Harper : I vote for cat house!

  Alan Harper : Do you even know what a cat house is?

  Jake Harper : Not first hand! That's why I voted for it!

  Alan Harper : A movie would be fine.

  Charlie Harper : Alright. A movie it is. What's out that's good?

  Jake Harper : There's a new pirate movie. It's rated Arrrrrr.

  [he pauses, no-one reacts] 

  Jake Harper : You guys have no sense of humor.