- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Tony's still hitting on the new recruits, huh?
- Officer Ziva David: Ignorant, hopeful, and eager to please.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: What recruit isn't?
- Officer Ziva David: I was not talking about the recruit.
- Dwayne Wilson: How's Gibbs to work for?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What have you heard? That bad guys would rather confess than be interrogated by him? That his steely gaze can cool a room by five degrees? That he can only be killed by a silver bullet like a werewolf?
- [Wilson chuckles]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: They're all true, except for the silver bullet part. Might give him indigestion or heartburn, but I don't think it'd kill him.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Handing Wilson something from the vending machine] For a job well done.
- Dwayne Wilson: Might mean more if you'd actually paid for it.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: We're government employees. Get used to disappointment
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah, rule #13: Never ever involve lawyers. Things are bound to turn nasty.
- Dwayne Wilson: I'll remember that.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You should. Gibbs has been divorced three times. He has seven rules that involve lawyers. None of them are very pretty. You don't need to know 'em all just #13. It's the umbrella rule.
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: Our agents should look more like McGee than they do DiNozzo.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: More like you than like me.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: All right, just. Let me do it. Let me do it, please. Okay? You handle this like your car.
- Officer Ziva David: And if you ever want to handle anything ever again remove your hand from my *mouse*!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [to Wilson while watching DiNozzo in interrogation] Tony has his own style sort of Dirty Harry meets Keystone cop.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Stay.
- Dwayne Wilson: I'm an agent.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Without a weapon. Guard the car.
- Dwayne Wilson: Why did you become an NCIS agent?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: For the guns and the babes.
- [all the teams are being assigned new recruits to observe, except Gibbs']
- Officer Ziva David: I heard rumors that Gibbs refuses to take one.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Wrong, they won't give him one. Think about it. You take a date back to your family's house, you want to make a good impression. You want them to *like* you. You don't introduce them to your weird Uncle Jethro until, like, the fifth date.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [entering behind him] Since when are you an expert on fifth dates, DiNozzo?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You're very right about that, Boss.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I don't know if you've noticed but she and they don't exactly want to shoot me.
- Officer Ziva David: Give them time.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: I prefer to choose my own team.
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: Just like you chose Special Agent Langer? That didn't work out very well, did it?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: You want to hear me say I made a mistake about Langer?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [after finding out what the robbers did with the money] Time, money futility. Sounds like one of McGee's date nights.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: It was not futility, it was by design.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Where have I heard that before?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: A word of advice, the ATF girls are smoking hot. They're a little crazy, but they're really hot.
- Dwayne Wilson: I'm married, Tony.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Well... then only talk to the Bureau of Prisons girls. That'll keep you celibate, unless you're like McGee.
- Officer Ziva David: I do not understand. If you want someone dead, you knock on their door, they answer, you shoot them. Easy.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [unsettled] For some.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: How much did they take?
- Paul Harris: This branch just received a money delivery.
- [hands Gibbs a card]
- Paul Harris: Paul Harris, corporate security. They took $27,000. Could have been worse.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [indicating the dead guard] Not for him.
- Paul Harris: Sorry, of course. I didn't mean that.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: This bank ever been hit before?
- Paul Harris: No, no, never. This is Quantico. I mean, come on, it's a freakin' Marine base that houses the FBI Academy.