- Officer Ziva David: I told you to destroy those... twice!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I did. I did. No. I-I-I didn't... um, Tony. Tony- Tony must have...
- Officer Ziva David: What? When you went to get coffee? You did not erase those photos, did you? Hmm?
- [McGee sighs]
- Officer Ziva David: Admit it! And I will spare you *one* of your eyes!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [processing a bloody shower] My... my mother isn't quite herself today.
- [Ziva gives him a look]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: "Psycho."
- Officer Ziva David: You certainly have your moments.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: The movie, Ziva. Norman Bates. Shower scene.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Cole worked at a local carwash. Abby got a hit off his DNA. Two years ago he donated sperm.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Tony and Ziva enter] Ah the things people will do for money.
- Officer Ziva David: You donated your sperm.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Didn't do that for money. Just to enrich the world. So, Boss I spoke with security at Quantico.
- [McGee clears his throat]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt? Let's see who the Boss likes better.
- [Tony and McGee wait expectantly]
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Ziva.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [as he's leaving] DiNozzo.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: On your six, Boss. Hey, you haven't forgotten about that screensaver, have you, Ziva?
- Officer Ziva David: Actually, I had.
- [advances on McGee]
- Officer Ziva David: Thanks for reminding me.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What are friends for?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Everything okay, Boss? You seem kind of quiet... ter than usual. Worried this is just his first?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Nah. Worried it's not.
- Abby Sciuto: Oh my God. That poster is right outside my lab. He was here. He walked right by my lab!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Abby, this isn't a flash code. It's h-dot-six-two-four...
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Hey, McGee!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Boss, this isn't a video. It's streaming live. He's outside Abby's lab!
- [last lines]
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: It's very revealing the lengths that some men will go to thrust themselves into the limelight. While others are content to live quietly in solitude.
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: The next award to be presented is the Meritorious Civilian Service Award, for demonstrating unusual initiative and a pattern of excellence -Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.
- [Everyone cheers]
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: Agent Gibbs?
- [as usual, Gibbs is nowhere to be seen]
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: Do I I need to tell you Sec Nav is already breathing down my neck?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: If it'll make you feel better.
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: Sec Nav is already breathing down my neck. Now you know. I'll handle him. You handle this. Just watch your back, Gibbs.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Speaking of Rose] Nice girl. Wasn't my type, though.
- Officer Ziva David: Really? She was breathing.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Ha! Well, I have standards, Ziva. Otherwise I'd be dating you.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [comes running into Abby's lab] Abby! It's okay, you're...
- [He falls on his face with a grunt. Abby peeks out of her hiding place and sees McGee's empty shoes, stuck fast to the floor]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Again with the Krazy Glue?
- Abby Sciuto: Consider yourself lucky. It was either that or hydrochloric acid!
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: He was targeting Gibbs from the beginning. You must've really pissed somebody off.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: It's not a short list - of people that -that you've angered just because you have rock solid principles. And so it's easy for people to misunderstand that and misconstrue. It's - you know...
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: Why don't you quit while you're behind, DiNozzo?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm trying.
- Abby Sciuto: I have two questions: This video, it's different than the others. Why?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Okay. What's the other question?
- Abby Sciuto: Can I stay with you tonight?
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: You want to evacuate the Navy Yard?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: He's coming here.
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: How do you know?
- [Gibbs shows Vance a screenshot from the killer's last cyber-vid: an anchor]
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: That could mean anything.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: It means his next victim is going to be in the Navy Yard.
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: Gibbs, I don't know if you've noticed, but we run the Navy out of the Navy Yard! And you just want to abandon ship based on a hunch?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: The camera in Harry's cart. Video wasn't for us, it's for him.
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: You think that was recon. Killer was scouting the base. N.C.I.S. I get, but why evacuate the whole Yard?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: You can't kill anybody, Leon, if there's no one here to kill.
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: Well, I'll give you points for the unexpected. We were going to run a security lockdown drill next week.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Move it up.
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: [reaches for his phone] Not sure if I hope you're right or wrong.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: If we turn them both on...
- Abby Sciuto: We can triangulate back on the killer.
- [Turns and faces Gibbs]
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: ...Or you could just stand there looking at me.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Boss, I'm not a god among men. You are! I've got it! Now my CPU's too small!
- [McGee leaves]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm gonna let that slide.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [while trying to figure out the place of a murder] All right, now let's try the place.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: A convent.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Is that where they keep the killer nuns?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Some of the nuns I know can get very agitated.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Please tell me that you have something better than agitated nuns.
- [as McGee walks into the squad room, Tony runs up to him]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [whispering] Run for your life, Probie! Run!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: What are you doing?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm trying to save your life!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: What did you do?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [laughs indignantly] Why do you assume it's me-? That's a good point, but in this case...
- Officer Ziva David: [shouts] McGee!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Too late.
- [after watching the killer's second video]
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: Between Mother Teresa and Hitler I guess there's all kinds.
- [SPOILER]
- Tommy Doyle: [ruefully] NCIS... I knew I should've gone with the FBI. It's a cliche, but look what you get for trying something different.
- Officer Ziva David: [disables the bomb] Clear.
- Rose Woodhouse: He said if I didn't just stand there, he'd kill me!
- [to Tommy]
- Rose Woodhouse: You said we were shooting another music video! I hope you fry!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [pulling her away] Come on, Rose, come on, let's go...
- Officer Ziva David: He set her up. How did you know?
- [Gibbs points]
- Officer Ziva David: The video camera? Yes, they had one of those at every murder.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: On the victim. *I* was the murder weapon.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [cuffing Tommy] Total cliche, you know. You ripped that off from "Seven."
- Tommy Doyle: Wrong! At the end of "Seven" the cops kill the serial killer, not another victim, it's *totally* different!
- [smirks]
- Tommy Doyle: Doesn't matter, I still win. You? You may be the "famous" Leroy Jethro Gibbs, but you're... you're nothing but a set piece. Who caught Gacy, huh? Manson? I don't know. But Tommy Doyle... he's gonna be a household name by the ten o'clock news!
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Put the gun down.
- Rose Woodhouse: I wish I could, please leave!
- Tommy Doyle: Shoot her, she's crazy!
- Rose Woodhouse: I'm sorry...
- Tommy Doyle: Somebody shoot her, I don't want to die!
- [After noticing the camera, Gibbs points his gun at Tommy]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Ah, boss...?
- Tommy Doyle: ...What the hell!
- [grins and reveals a]
- Tommy Doyle: Dead man's switch. You shoot me, we all die.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Let's go!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What do we got, Boss?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: What do we got? We got a... that's a good question, DiNozzo.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Looks like their evening was ruined.
- Officer Ziva David: I am going to ruin McGee's whole year.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Don't you think you're being a little uptight about this photo thing?
- Officer Ziva David: No, really. What do you think he's doing with it?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I would rather shave my eyeballs than contemplate that.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Blood is human, boss. Not pure, but enough to make Janet Leigh scream.
- Officer Ziva David: We thought it prudent to notify Ducky, given the amount.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Source?
- Officer Ziva David: McGee's still looking for it.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [photographing the scene] "Mother... blood... blood!"
- Officer Ziva David: [off Gibbs's look] "Psycho."
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: He has his moments.
- [first lines]
- Sergeant Alice Hardy: Hello? Hello?
- [She opens a collapsible baton and kicks open the door of her bedroom... knocking her husband back onto the bed]
- Corporal Jack Burell: Whoa! Alice, it's just me! That's the third time you've done that to me this year!
- Sergeant Alice Hardy: You know I don't like surprises!
- Corporal Jack Burell: [holds up wine and flowers] Surprise. It's our one-month anniversary.
- Sergeant Alice Hardy: I knew there was a reason I married you.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Nice timing, Jethro. I thought you'd like to see what we found in our scans... or rather, what we didn't find.
- Jimmy Palmer: His brain... is missing!
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: There's no need to get so excited, Mr. Palmer.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Where did it go?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Well, it appears to have been removed trans-nasally, in a manner similar to that used by the ancient Egyptians prior to mummification.
- [picks up a small hook]
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Most likely, using a took similar to this.
- Jimmy Palmer: A missing brain, so close to Halloween... that's enough to make you want to...
- [off their looks]
- Jimmy Palmer: ... go clean some pipettes.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Postmortem?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Well, judging by the intracranial hemorrhaging, I believe the entire cerebrum was removed while he was still alive. Unconscious, of course, but alive... until, of course, he wasn't.
- [McGee rushes to MTAC to check out a new lead]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Well, it is the Cyber-Vid Killer. If McGee wasn't meant to do the heavy lifting, who was?