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"How I Met Your Mother" Intervention (TV Episode 2008) Poster

(TV Series)

(2008)

Quotes

Robin Scherbatsky: Dear Marshall: I do not like that stupid hat. I want to beat it with a bat. Or maybe stab it with a fork. It makes you look like such a dork.

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Ted Mosby: [reminiscing Interventions from the past] When I was going through the closet I thought I saw the intervention banner.

Marshall Eriksen: [rolling his eyes over, obviously hiding something] S-So?

Ted Mosby: So, the banner burned up. Why is there a new one?

Ted Mosby: [carries in a box with letters and an Interverntion banner] And there are sealed letters here from all of you that say "Ted." Were you guys planning an intervention for me?

Lily Aldrin: Oh, that... that was stupid. Yeah, just, just forget about that.

Ted Mosby: Wh-What was it for? The Crocs? The hair product?

Marshall Eriksen: [interrupts] Not Stella...

Ted Mosby: [stunned] Oh, my God, this was about Stella.

Marshall Eriksen: I just said *Not* Stella. So maybe it was about your poor listening skills, Ted.

Ted Mosby: What?

Marshall Eriksen: It's out of control. See?

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Marshall Eriksen: Whats that?

Ted Mosby: A 1986 world book encyclopædia. Just the one I grew up with.

Marshall Eriksen: An encyclopædia?

Ted Mosby: [laughing] Oh! You think it should be pronounced encyclo-pee-dia. I'ts a common mistake. But if you look at that squished together "ae" symbol in this here encyclopædia, you'll learn that it's a ligature derived from the Anglo-Saxon rune ash...

[shelf breaks and falls]

Marshall Eriksen: You know, you're gonna have to pædia for that.

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Robin Scherbatsky: Dear Ted: It's "encyclopedia", not "encyclopaedia". You always pronounce things in the most pretentious way possible, and it makes you sound douchy, and not "douchay".

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Barney Stinson: The point is, marriage is stupid. Every year there are a million hot, new 22-year olds going into bars, and call me glass-half-full, but I think they're getting dumber.

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Amber: [to Barney in his old man makeup] You're cute. How old are you?

Barney Stinson: Eighty-three. How old are you?

Amber: Thirty-one.

Barney Stinson: Oh!

[Gets up to leave]

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Robin Scherbatsky: [in a thick Canadian accent] Stanley Cup. Game 6, eh? The Rangers are about to be sorry they ever played shinny with the Canucks.

Marshall: Hey, hey Robin.

Robin Scherbatsky: Yeah?

Marshall: I'll give you 20 bucks if you can shoot it through this front door.

Robin Scherbatsky: [laughs] You're nuttier than a Tim Horton's maple log. Timmy Ho!

[shoots a hockey puck]

Lily: [catches the puck] That's it Robin, give me the stick.

Robin Scherbatsky: I'll give you summer teeth. Some are here, some are there.

Lily: Oh Robin, give me the stick.

Robin Scherbatsky: Take off,

[shoves Lily]

Robin Scherbatsky: hoser.

TedMarshallBarney: Woah!

Lily: That's it!

Barney: Hey, hey!

Marshall: Get her, get her!

Robin Scherbatsky: You wanna scrap, I'll scrap!

Ted: Guys, come on!

Marshall: For America!

Ted: All right, all right, break it up!

Robin Scherbatsky: Bring it on, bring it on!

Barney: Ted, no! You never break up a girl fight! Never!

[punches a hole in the wall and grunts]

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Barney: [Enters the room] what the...?

Robin Scherbatsky: Barney, this is an intervention

Barney: What was that?

Marshall: Enough with the old man bit!

Barney: What about the old sand pit?

Lily: Let it go!

Barney: Let it snow? Oh boy, I love that old diddy.

Ted: I'm getting my flail.

Barney: You're setting sail?

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[At Stuart's alcoholism intervention, Barney brings a bottle of liquor]

Barney Stinson: Happy birthday, Stewie! Time to let the big, green monster out of its cage.

Stuart: No!

Barney Stinson: Come on, dude. People don't want to see Bruce Banner, they want to see the Hulk. Hulk! Hulk! Hulk!...

[Robin whispers into Barney's ear]

Barney Stinson: What? That's what I get for skimming the e-vite.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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