Barney Stinson:
Oh, I am so relieved because the truth is I am as far from married as a human being can possibly be. My history with women would shock and appall you.
Loretta Stinson:
Doesn't matter. I still love you.
Barney Stinson:
Seriously, you can't imagine the things I've done.
Loretta Stinson:
Barney, when you were three, I left you with a babysitter and spent three weeks with Grand Funk Railroad being passed around like a bong.
Barney Stinson:
Mommy?
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