Leonard Hofstadter: [about the Next Top Model house] Are you insane? You're not going to party with them. You're not even going to get anywhere near that place.
Howard Wolowitz: That's what they said to Neil Armstrong abut the moon.
Sheldon Cooper: No one said anything of the kind to Neil Armstrong. The entire nation dedicated a decade of effort and treasure to put a man on the moon.
Howard Wolowitz: Well, my fellow Americans, before this year is out, we will put a Wolowitz on one of America's top models.
Rajesh Koothrappali: And a large number of people will believe it never happened.
Howard Wolowitz: Oh, look, there's the future Mrs. Wolowitz. No, wait, that's the future Mrs. Wolowitz, with her head in the lap of - eh, what a coincidence - the future Mrs. Wolowitz.
Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, and they can all move in with you and your mother. The current Mrs. Wolowitz.
Leonard Hofstadter: For the record, what you guys are doing is really creepy.
Howard Wolowitz: You know what, if it's "creepy" to use the internet, military satellites and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so that I can drop in on them unexpectedly then fine, I'm creepy.
Sheldon Cooper: Excuse me, Penny, but we're...
Leonard Hofstadter: No don't tell her!
Sheldon Cooper: ...playing Klingon Boggle.
Leonard Hofstadter: Awww...
Howard Wolowitz: What do you mean "aww," like she didn't know we were nerds?
Sheldon Cooper: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your "ken" can kiss my Barbie.
Sheldon Cooper: [in a computer message] Hello, puny insects. As a consequence of your efforts to circumvent my will, Everyone is awarded one additional strike.
Leonard Hofstadter: Thanks a lot, Howard.
Howard Wolowitz: What are you complaining about? I'm the one who has to take the class again.
Penny: [after Leonard gives her Sheldon's "kryptonite", which makes even her uneasy] Look, I said I wanted to hurt him, but... this?
Leonard Hofstadter: It'll shorten the war by five years and save millions of lives.
Sheldon Cooper: Penny, I wish I could be more lenient with you, but since you've become a member of our social group I have to hold you to the same high standards as everybody else.
Leonard Hofstadter: Congratulations, you're officially one of us.
Howard Wolowitz: [chanting] One of us! One of us!
Howard Wolowitz: Every week they kick out a beautiful girl, making her feel unwanted and without self-esteem... a.k.a, the future Mrs. Howard Wolowitz.
Penny: What was my first strike?
Sheldon Cooper: March eighteenth. You violated my rule about forwarding e-mail humor.
Penny: I did?
Sheldon Cooper: The photo of a cat who wants to "haz cheezburger"?
Penny: Oh, come on, everyone loves LOLcats. They're cute, and they can't spell, 'cause they're cats.
Sheldon Cooper: You can't do that. Not only is it a violation of California State law, it flies directly in the face of Cheesecake Factory policy.
Penny: Yeah, I know; there's a new policy: No shoes, no shirt, no Sheldon.
Howard Wolowitz: I bet we could sell that sign all over Pasadena.
Howard Wolowitz: [about a model] She's taller than all of the women in my family combined.
Rajesh Koothrappali: What do we do now?
Howard Wolowitz: [another model walks by] Follow Mrs. Wolowitz.
Penny: [to Sheldon] Oh, honey, the buses don't go where you live, do they?
Penny: [Referring to her underwear] How the hell did you get them up on that telephone wire?
Sheldon Cooper: When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible. And may I add, "Mwah, ha, ha."
Penny: Get them down.
Sheldon Cooper: Apologize.
Sheldon Cooper: Well then may I suggest you get a very long stick and play panty pinata.
Leonard Hofstadter: [referring to the strikes Sheldon gave her] Don't worry, they only stay on your record for a year.
Howard Wolowitz: You can get them removed early, but you have to take his class.
Leonard Hofstadter: [just walking in on Sheldon and Penny] Hey, you guys are talking again, good!
[Penny and Sheldon give him an annoyed look]
Leonard Hofstadter: What happened?
Leonard Hofstadter: Penny, you don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy is one lab accident away from being a supervillain.
Penny: I don't care. I was in Junior Rodeo. I can hogtie and castrate him in sixty seconds.
Howard Wolowitz: No need to neuter the nerd, I can get you back online.
Penny: Leonard, remember when I said it was on? Well now it's Junior Rodeo on.
Leonard Hofstadter: [softly, in a worried tone] Ohhh, not Junior Rodeo.
[Penny has innocently taken an onion ring from Sheldon's plate of food]
Penny: I didn't know. I'm sorry.
Sheldon Cooper: Well, I'm sorry, but that is your second strike.
Sheldon Cooper: You have two strikes. Three strikes, and you're out.
[Penny looks at him blankly]
Sheldon Cooper: It's a sports metaphor.
Penny: A sports metaphor?
Sheldon Cooper: Yes, baseball.
Penny: [Knock-knock-knock] Sheldon!