- [first lines]
- Archie Andrews: Welcome to Archie's Fun House. Featuring the Giant Jukebox. And now direct from the Riverdale Cultural Center, the Riverdale High Fine Artsy Group presents an uplifting program of high-class entertainment. And here, playing her own composition accompanying herself on the harp, is Big Ethel.
- [last lines]
- The Archies: [singing] Sunshine, sunshine, sunshine!