In the year 2154, the very wealthy live on a man-made space station while the rest of the population resides on a ruined Earth. A man takes on a mission that could bring equality to the polarized worlds.
After its victory over Leonidas' 300, the Persian Army under the command of Xerxes marches towards the major Greek city-states. The Democratic city of Athens, first on the path of Xerxes' army, bases its strength on its fleet, led by admiral Themistocles. Themistocles is forced to an unwilling alliance with the traditional rival of Athens, oligarchic Sparta whose might lies with its superior infantry troops. But Xerxes still reigns supreme in numbers over sea and land. Written by
The film was previously called "Xerxes", the title of the Frank Miller graphic novel on which the film is based, and later "300: The Battle of Artemisia", the title used during filming. Ultimately, the present title "300: Rise of an Empire" was used because the other two were deemed too exotic. See more »
Persian kings never claimed divinity - see goofs for 300. See more »
I am Greek by birth, and I have Greek blood running through my veins. But my heart is Persian.
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The Warner Bros and Legendary Pictures logos are seen on doors that open up to reveal the mural of Leonides and the 300 Spartans. See more »
Let's start with the most basic of evaluations: Boring or Not Boring. This is an action movie so I cut it the most slack. If I turn my brain on, I have to throw all of my Michael Bay and Arnie / Rock movies away. The movie is a dreadful bore; there simply is no character development. It starts right away with the decapitations, dismemberings and disembowlings (evidently, nobody had any intestines, note to the retards who made this movie, buy an anatomy book). Themostikles is drawn in the most barely adumbrated fashion which means we couldn't give a crap about him. Look, 300 is like The Godfather next to this piece of crap. Remember how 300 introduced Leonidas to us, from childhood and his ascension to king? This begins immediately with blue cape boy perforating Darius. This spawns Xerxes to begin his payback upon the Greeks. What is fascinating about Xerxes' transformation, in bald boys' secret cave, is that he grows about two feet, and changes all his physical characteristics: that is one bad ass pool. Does anybody have a location on that pool? The movie consists of interchangeable sea battles, yes, that is right, sea battles. Imagine Cleopatra's ending for two hours with better special effects and a swimming pool full of blood. Eva Green acts well but she cannot save the movie neither can Lena Headey.
The movie follows Themostikles in trying to cobble together a coalition for the big sea showdown with jewelry boy. I lost count of the sea battles, I truly did. It starts well for the Greeks, then it gets progressively worse before the miraculous ending. You think you have seen Deus Ex Machina endings? SPOILER: Yes, the Spartans show up at the exact moment that the Greeks needed them. About the same odds as Natalie Portman calling me for a freaking date, please, stop. The pithiest review for you is this: a series of boring, coma inducing sea battles with the most contrived phony ending. They couldn't hire Fassbender again, when you watch this you will understand why, so they canvassed B actors for a bad acting doppelgänger. In the middle of this, get ready to laugh your butt off. Yes, Eva decides to invite blue cape boy back to her ship for some rough sex right in the middle of a battle. No, she doesn't kill him, they bond in a violent, sexual sort of way if you are into that sort of thing. For me, and my living room of guys, we were yelling,"Oh, WTF is this S?" It invoked laughter in a large group of people of different genders. I tolerated 300, I gave it a bad review but it never bored me.
This is boring from the first frame to the last. Ask yourself: How many heads, limbs, eyes flying through the air with phony ass fountains of blood until I slip into unconsciousness? The director sensed the big trouble he was in, he brings back the narrator of 300, Leonidas' queen Draco or Drago, who gives a big crap? Truly, they and the hunchback are here to try and regain some of that old 300 feeling, it doesn't remotely work. If you have seen The Tudors, get ready for Hans Matheson (Archbishop Cramner) as a warrior fighting with blue cape boy. I was looking for Natalie Dormer, as Anne Boleyn, to wander onto one of the boats. The only people that will like this movie are the worshipers of the Starz Spartacus series, the whole movie is just like that minus: oiled dudes walking about with their blue steroid shrunken gear. The character development is nonexistent, even Eva's character is not even barely sketched for us. They just never understand that if their is no time spent getting us to care about these people, it puts us into delta wave sleep. 300 is like Lawrence Of Arabia in comparative character depth and acting. The two women leads are the only two actors in the whole movie. The male cast is painful, Themostikles often gets this dumb ass blank look on his face like he is trying to pass a kidney stone. Worse Than My Brother's Cooking. You will wish you were decapitated after about a half hour, Run!!! Q.E.D.
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