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"The Office" Blood Drive (TV Episode 2009) Poster

(TV Series)

(2009)

Quotes

Jim Halpert: I have a lot of work to do this afternoon. Those mines aren't going to sweep themselves.

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Meredith Palmer: She could be your soul mate.

Dwight Schrute: Not likely. With three billion women on the planet, most of them live in Asia, so the numbers just don't add up.

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Kelly Kapoor: So I received my first Valentine from a secret admirer.

[opens envelope and reads from card]

Kelly Kapoor: Roses are red, violets are blue. It's time for your dental cleaning and maybe a checkup, too.

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Dwight Schrute: I trained my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself.

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Michael Scott: Where's Andy?

Oscar Martinez: He's on one of his honeymoons.

Michael Scott: What?

Oscar Martinez: He made nonrefundable deposits on his honeymoons, so he's just knocking them off one at a time. I think today he's hot-air ballooning, and later he's got a couples' massage.

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Kevin Malone: My worst breakup was with Stacy. It was a Sunday morning. We were reading the paper and I said, "Oh, my God, I think the Eagles could clinch the NFC East." And she said that we're done.

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Michael Scott: I am going to be Cupid. And I'm going to shoot my sparrow at unsuspecting victims and they are going to get hit and say, "I'm in love. I was hit by Cupid's sparrow." Funny little bird, but he gets the job done.

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Kevin Malone: I think I blew it. It all happened so fast.

Kevin Malone: [slowly] So fast.

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Kevin Malone: I get very nervous talking to pretty girls. Seriously, feel how sweaty my hand is.

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Michael Scott: Well, if you guys insist on having your own private little love fest...

Jim Halpert: We do.

Michael Scott: ...that none of us can be a part of...

Pam Beesley: You can't be a part of our relationship, Michael.

Michael Scott: Then we are going to have our own private Valentine's Day party.

Jim Halpert: That sounds fun.

Michael Scott: So suck it.

Jim Halpert: Yeah.

Michael Scott: Hey, everybody, I just invited Jim to suck it, and I am cordially inviting all of you to a special convention, a lonely hearts convention this afternoon.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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