The Office (TV Series)

Stress Relief (2009)

Oscar Nuñez: Oscar Martinez

Photos 

Quotes 

• Michael Scott : And I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you people.

  Pam Beesly : What?

  Michael Scott : Well, I wrote them down so I wouldn't forget.

  [clears throat] 

  Michael Scott : Jim, you're 6'11", and you weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss-ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela, where's Angela? Well, there you are. I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted.

  [Stanley starts to laugh] 

  Michael Scott : Oscar, you are...

  [starts giggling] 

  Michael Scott : Oscar, you're gay.

  Oscar Martinez : Wow.

  Michael Scott : Andy, Cornell called, they think you suck and you're gayer than Oscar. Boom. Roasted.

• Oscar Martinez : I consider myself a good person, but I'm gonna try to make him cry.

• [Oscar's speech at Michael's roast; translated from Spanish to English] 

  Oscar Martinez : You give me an ulcer every time I wake up and I have to come to work. I have to come to work for you. For you!