- After Don Geiss wakes from his coma and tells Jack that he plans to remain as CEO, a snow-in forces Jack to go with Liz to her high school reunion--where Liz learns, much to her surprise, that she was the class bully.
- "30 Rock" - "Reunion" - Dec. 4, 2008
Liz walks the hallway and runs into Kenneth, who gives her her messages -- including one from the coordinator of her high school reunion. He says she has to go since his was so much fun, and we cut to him greeting all black people at his reunion. Tracy tells her it's her opportunity to get back at people as we cut to him yelling, "You said I would never amount to anything!!!" Then nuns tell him that this is a school for deaf girls. Jenna offers that she would have gone to hers but the boat she was educated on sank. Liz says she wouldn't have fun so she isn't going.
Up in Don's office Kathy is posing for the cover of the quarterly report. Jonathan is saying it should be Jack on the cover since he's really doing the job. He says it will be if Kathy's dad ever comes out of the coma but for now they have to respect the board's opinion. Jonathan says if something bad were to happen to her they'd have a secret that would bond them together forever. Kathy goes to look out the window. At that moment Don Geiss wakes up from his coma and says, "Get me Jack Donaghy."
Tracy enters an elevator containing Kenneth and others, and wonders aloud why there aren't any Puerto Ricans on "Star Trek." Someone gets off and Kenneth wonders, "What is this, the local?" and cracks everyone up.
Jack enters Liz's office with the news about Don, he kisses Liz's head. He's very excited. He's meeting Geiss shortly. He notices that Liz's reunion is coming up and says he wishes his Princeton reunion was coming up so he could wipe that smug smile off Michelle Obama's face. He can't believe Liz isn't going to hers. She says she was a lonely nerd in high school and it was hell, thanks to people like Kelsey Winthrop --cut to a pretty blonde harassing a permed and mumbling Liz at a telescope. She says only cool, pretty people like that will be there. Jack says since Liz is now pretty and working on a hit TV show she's one of them now. He tells her to show Kelsey the ugly duckling has turned into a vaguely ethnic swan! Liz says she'll never get a rental car now, so Jack tells her to take the corporate jet, which has popcorn. Liz agrees.
Jack meets Geiss, who tells him that he's going to stay on CEO thanks to a beam of energy vision he got in his coma that his work is not yet done. Jack is flabbergasted. Geiss says Jack is still his choice to take over when he dies, if that ever happens.
Grizz and Dotcom wonder why Tracy is upset. He relays that Kenneth got a bigger laugh on the elevator and that it's their job to protect him from things like that. They head off to the elevator to laugh at Tracy's jokes.
Jack breaks the CEO news to Liz. He tries to play it off because, he says, he has to control his feelings. He says she can still hitch a ride to the reunion: he rented a jet and will drop her off on his way to Miami where he's going to get some ass and check out the burgeoning art scene and blow off some steam.
We cut to a snow storm which has stranded Jack in Liz's hometown of Whitehaven. She admits that it was some rough landing and we cut to Liz white knuckling it as she admits that she once laughed at a blind man eating spaghetti, sometimes pees in the shower when she's tired, and that she once saw her grandparents making love and didn't leave right away. Jack is stewing about Geiss and the CEO job and he says he doesn't know who he is. She tells him he can still blow off steam here except there are no museums (burned down by meth heads), good restaurants (taken over by the Vietnamese), or booze (dry since 1880).
On the elevator Grizz and Dotcom dutifully laugh at Tracy's bad jokes. (Sample: he pats his belly and asks, "What's this? A ghetto mating call.") Two guys with green shirts walk on and Kenneth jokes "I didn't get the memo" and a few other zingers and gets real laughs.
Liz enters her high school reunion to the strains of INXS's "I Need You Tonight." She goes to the bar and spots Kelsey Winthrop, who now looks like a soccer mom.
The hotel clerk is trying to tell Jack how to get to a bar in a nearby town. Jack asks if the reunion has a bar.
Liz goes over to Kelsey and says hello. Kelsey is surprised and Liz offers, "yeah...cocoon, and then, flap flap flap -- butterfly!" Kelsey didn't think she'd come. She says Liz was a bully who made everyone's life hell. We cut back to the earlier scene this time with Kelsey innocently asking Liz about her telescope and Liz, now more clearly, replying "I don't know Kelsey, how's your mom's pill addiction?" Kelsey says they called her the White Haven witch. Another girl comes over and Kelsey stops her from smacking Liz. The girl, Erin, says that Liz used to make fun of her mole by saying "god pooped" on her face. Liz didn't think anyone was listening to her. She says she was a nobody and Kelsey was homecoming queen. Kelsey says she had to have years of therapy and suddenly her facial tic comes back.
Jack overhears a reunion-ite discussing his mulch business. He asks the guy if he's happy. The guy says he is. Liz spots Jack and asks what he's doing here. Getting drunk, he says. Jack asks Liz if she'd buy his mulch. She says she's just found out she wasn't a lovable nerd but a bully you hate. A man comes over and asks if Liz still thinks that he's "gayer than the volleyball scene in Top Gun." She protests that they were friends and she said those things to help him come out. He introduces his wife, with whom he's raised three beautiful...dogs. He goes off to dance in anger. Liz is mad since Rob is the first gay guy she ever kissed. She wonders what's wrong with everyone. Jack says they're simply good Americans and he's pleased to have learned about the three B's: beers, boats, and buds. Liz wonders if he's having a stroke. Jack says he wishes he was one of these people. A man comes over and asks Jack, "Larry Braverman?" Jack says yes, that's who he is.
A crowd forms around "Larry," who was apparently the coolest kid in school and who no one's seen since graduation. "Larry" reports that his bitchin' Camaro finally broke down from having too much sex in it. They all head out to the parking lot to do donuts. Liz wonders how a 12-years-older Jack is doing it. He says rich 50 is middle class 38. She calls him Jack, and he protests that he's Larry now and Don Geiss can't take that away and then asks if Liz is leaving soon since she's harshing everybody's buzz. She says she's not and that she may have said some dumb things in high school but she's changed and will now show everyone the good, kind person she's become.
Tracy enters Jenna's dressing room to confirm they're the most important people around. She replies of course they are -- they're actors, and without them, how would people know who to vote for? Tracy goes on to ask, no one should take attention from them, right? Jenna, aghast, says no, attention is what gives us power. She wonders who the culprit is. Tracy says Kenneth. Jenna can't believe it.
A woman (played by Janel Moloney from "The West Wing") named Jessica approaches "Larry" and apologizes for the way they ended things. Jack plays into it perfectly by keeping it vague.
Folks dance to "Obsession" by Animotion and Liz goes up to Kelsey and others to apologize for being mean in high school. Kelsey says too little, too late. Liz says she's fun now and says, "Let's all do the Diane!"... apparently mocking an old classmate with a leg brace, who stalks off.
Jenna enters an elevator with Kenneth, who gets another laugh. A woman says they should put him on the show. Jenna alarmed, realizes what Tracy was talking about and starts to loudly sing "Wind Beneath My Wings." Kenneth interrupts with "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and gets everyone to sing along. Jenna screams into Tracy's dressing room that Kenneth is a monster. Tracy yells that he must be stopped.
At the reunion Jack is dancing with the crew - to "Don't You Forget About Me"- and thanking them for helping him through a tough time. A squirrelly guy is excited, saying it's just like being back in high school. Jessica says her favorite thing in high school was "7 minutes in heaven," and they go off to play, spinning a bottle on a table. Liz comes over and they boo her. Apparently the bottle landed on her as we cut to Jack and Liz in a closet and Jack telling her that they won't be making out since that would be social suicide. Liz calls the reunion a nightmare and starts calling them names. Jack says she hasn't changed and this is just like her earlier joke to him about impotence when he gave her the Geiss news. She points out that that was over 8 hours ago and she was trying to cut the tension. He says she was hiding her feelings behind humor instead of engaging in a real way. She says he's the one that's hiding "Larry Braverman?" He says that response is proof of her desire to attack and that's why she's almost 40 and alone. She says at least she isn't 50, alone, and sitting on 2,000 business cards for a job she'll never get. Jack's bags were delivered to her room accidentally and she pulls out one of the CEO cards he had made. Jack is stricken and walks out crying saying to the group, "Why is she so mean?" The crowd jeers her.
Jenna, in a suit, delivers a "ham" sandwich, hold the bread, to Kenneth. He says delivering food is his job. Tracy, in a suit, is leading a tour of the studio. Kenneth is alarmed. Tracy points out that it doesn't feel good when someone does his job and that he doesn't like it when Kenneth does jokes in the elevator. Kenneth bursts into tears saying he didn't mean to hurt his best friend. Tracy starts to cry and points out they're not best friends, just really good friends. Kenneth says he will stop. Jenna comes over and tells him to keep crying so he'll never do this again.
Back at the reunion they're giving out awards (people who traveled the farthest distance, etc.) The group comes over to tell Jack that they're going to "Carrie" Liz. Just then Erin announces Liz has won "best school spirit" and invites Liz onstage. Liz declines until Erin says it comes with a $50 gift certificate to Outback Steakhouse. Liz starts approaching the stage in slow motion as the crowd, including Jack, claps. He looks up and sees the bucket and yells "wait" and stops it. He runs onstage and says even though Liz isn't perfect, neither is he. He says she may hide behind her insults but she's a good person and he's honored to call her his friend. They all clap. Jessica says they're all so happy to have Larry back in their lives but especially her since she wants him to meet their son. Jack immediately denies being Larry and admits to being Liz's platonic friend. Liz grabs the Outback gift certificate and apologizes once more. The blood bucket drops, missing her, and she grabs the mike again telling them to suck it and that she's heading to a corporate jet to take her back to New York Cit-ay!
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