Cpt. Craig 'Encino Man' Schwetje: It was the enemy who stole your food from you, and you should be really, really mad at them. Before we step off on this next mission, I'm reminding you of who your enemy is. The enemy.
Cpl. Josh Ray Person: I'm on the Nevada, Missouri Wal-Mart Wall of heroes. Even got my dress blues on.
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: If my mother ever distributes my likeness without written authorization, I would disown her
Cpl. Josh Ray Person: Technically speaking, Brad, but didn't your biological parent disown you when the put you up for adoption?
Cpl. Josh Ray Person: Point, Ray. I was one of those unfortunates adopted by upper-middle-class professionals and nurtured in an environment of learning, art, and socio-religious culture steeped in over two thousand years of Talmudic tradition. Not everyone is lucky enough to have been raised in a Whiskey Tango trailer park by a bowlegged female whose sole qualification for motherhood is a womb that happened to catch a sperm of a passing truck diver.
[Colbert gets out of Humvee]
Cpl. Josh Ray Person: At least my mom took me to NASCAR!
Cpl. Walt Hasser: [At night, the platoon is preparing for an attack from the oncoming Iraqi army] They're movin'. You can see it.
Cpl. Josh Ray Person: So, we're unsupplied, twenty-four hours ahead of the next nearest Marine and now the Iraqi army has found us. I like the plan, Brad. It works for me.
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: [Colbert looks at the 'Iraqi army'] Its a town. And it ain't movin'.
Cpl. Walt Hasser: Are you sure?
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: It's autokinesis: seeing involuntary muscle movements of your own eyes. Those lights aren't going to come any closer than they are. It's a fuckin' town. Thirty or forty kliks out there at least. How far out did Alpha call this?
Cpl. Walt Hasser: Fifteen kliks.
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: [to an approaching Poke Espera] It's bullshit. There's no armor.
Sgt. Antonio 'Poke' Espera: There's no armor?
[They watch as bombs hit the empty space fifteen kliks away]
Cpl. Josh Ray Person: Well, apparently the United States Air Force thinks Brad Colbert is full of shit.
Cpl. Josh Ray Person: Brad! Check this motherfuckin' crib out! Haji be pimpin', yo.
Sgt. Antonio 'Poke' Espera: Naw, naw, naw, Brad. You cannot say that you like Pocahontas. The genocide of my people is turned into a cartoon musical? With a singing raccoon? I mean, think about it, Dog. The real story of Pocahontas is about a bunch of white boys who come to my land, bribe the corrupt Indian chief, kill off all the warriors and fuck the Indian princess silly. Would the white man make a story about Auschwitz, where the inmate falls in love with the guard and they go off singing love songs with dancing swastikas?
Lance Cpl. Harold James Trombley: My great grandfather killed Indians. Up in Michigan. For money.
Sgt. Antonio 'Poke' Espera: Trombley, you are the first white motherfucker to say something like that to me. Back in the fishing village where I'm from, Los Angeles, most white motherfuckers that talk about their people, they say they got a Native American ancestor. Pretend to be down with me. But here you are coming the other way.
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: Poke, what the fuck are you anyway? Your wife is half white, you talk like you're black, most of your friends are fucking white, and every once in a while, when you feel like it, you throw in with the Indians. Is it just that you're whatever race happens to be cool at the moment?
Sgt. Antonio 'Poke' Espera: You got a point, Dog. I don't hang out with Mexicans. Mexicans got $20,000 stereos, lots of guns and every time I go into a liquor store with one, I'm afraid we're gonna rob the place. Mexicans are scary motherfuckers.
Cpl. Josh Ray Person: What the fuck does any of this have to do with jerking off?