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Millions, two huge stars, a director with a reputation and a fictional sounding name, and of course, Venice! Nothing works, nothing! The chemistry between Depp and Jolie is virtually non existent. She is dressed in ridiculous, supposedly elegant, gowns but she looks as if she's wearing costumes. Remember Audrey Hepburn? She was never worn by her dresses, she was ahead. The dialog is not to be believed - Julian Fellowes is listed among the writers but, I can't believe it's true. The meet-cute on the train, done so beautifully in th past by a variety of directors and stars, falls flat here, flat! Johnny Depp is one of my favorites but here he looks puffy and detached. How can anyone managed to make Depp look bad? I don't know but they did. Jolie is a big star but here, she seems unused to wear dresses. I couldn't believe her walk through Venice. "Hot to Trot" comes o mind. Imagine, Audrey Hepburn walking purposely through Venice in a ball gown. Or Carole Lombard, or Grace Kelly, or Loren or Deneuve, Gene Tirney, Kay Kendall... I can think of dozens. This was really bad. The only saving grace a running joke that has Depp's character, not speaking Italian, speaks Spanish to the Italians and the Italians respond in Spanish, specially the scene with Christian De Sica (son of Vittorio) in which De Sica replays "De nada" So, the lesson learned is the eternal cliché. Not everything that glitters is gold. And this one, from a distance, glittered, big time
Considering the fact that Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie are two of the
biggest stars in the world, you may have at one time flippantly
claimed, "I'd pay $10 just to watch them read the phone book!" Well, if
you decide to ignore my advice then you'll have the chance to put the
equivalent of that theory to the test if you lay down your hard-earned
dinero to see The Tourist.
Displaying the focus of an attention deficit schizophrenic, The Tourist weaves its way through an odd mixture of romantic, comedic, and mysterious elements. I have no problem with a film that embraces multiple genres, as long as it can do so effectively. The problem with this film is I was never sure what type of reaction the film wanted to evoke. The romantic orchestra soars one moment, we're treated to a few slapstick shenanigans the next, and then comes the brooding minor key to remind us that there's a mysteriously mysterious mystery afoot! I would not have been shocked had Rowan Atkinson made an appearance.
Plus, the "climactic" twist isn't as clever as it thinks. I suppose one might be forgiven if he or she finds it cutesy, but even if you do fall for it, by the time it arrives your interest will be too detached to care.
Eliciting little more than a few chuckles and a whole lot of apathy, The Tourist makes its mark as one of this year's most pointless and useless films. I can't single anything out as being truly awful, but neither can I think of a single reason why you should consider spending $10 a pop on a film that offers absolutely nothing new to the cinematic universe. The Italian backdrop is nice to look at, and Jolie and Depp are adequate, if not dynamic in their chemistry, but it takes more than the visual image of Depp traversing rooftops barefooted and in grandpa's pajamas to be deemed worthy of my time.
Entertain, engage, educate, or humor me. That's all I ask. The Tourist decided to go with "none of the above," therefore I encourage you to think twice before making this your selection.
Opening day (a Friday) enough of the critical reviews I read were
negative enough, that I was asking 2 friends if they wanted to switch
films - money is tight, yah know? But we agreed there was nothing wrong
with checking The Tourist out, at worst there would be some eye candy.
Once again, I'm glad I blew the critics off - it's not that the negative reviews are wrong, exactly. There ARE too many scenes of entire rooms of people turning around to look at Jolie, like a perfume commercial (or someone with toilet paper stuck to their behind). Characters and relationships aren't fleshed out enough, and it's a predictable film - North by Northwest is far superior.
But. As one critic said, it's a frothy diversion, pleasant and fun. Thought the rumpled Depp was low-key and charming, and Jolie was gorgeous and a sympathetic character. There are some amusing twists, and our fairly full theater laughed a lot and was entertained by the film; at no point did any of us lose interest. There are far worse ways to spend a Friday night, and I'd recommend to anyone looking for some diversion and gorgeous views of Venice. Good for anyone looking to unwind after a long hard week.
This ugly little piece of slam dunk marketing featuring present day
reigning sex symbols Angelina Jolie and Johnnny Depp in a tepid
suspensor revolving around missing cash is a clunker from the get go.
It's all face time for the hotties which I surmise are supposed to turn
up the heat based on their good looks alone since the vapid plot and
predictable pursuers lack even a scintilla of originality or suspense.
It is a cynical cash grab by all involved. As Fats Waller would say
"all that meat and no potatoes."
Woman of mystery Elise Ward (Jolie) boards a train bound for Venice where she enlists Frank Tupelo (Depp) as a useful idiot to help her elude the law and the mob to rendezvous with an accomplice who has made off with an obscene amount of money. The chase is on but the pace along with just about everything else is off.
Jolie has a mega fatale look but her dialog is trite and she delivers it with a comatose inflection that more or less says, with a face and body like this whose listening? She's more runway model in the middle of a show than character of intrigue morphing at times into a stunning and stilted statue. Depp looks bored and non-committal with his rube appointed resume (Wisconsin math teacher) and scruffy look that suaves up in time to get into a clinch with Ms. Jolie, nearly matching her lifelessness.
Director Florian von Donnersmark is a major disappointment. The Tourist is his follow-up to one of the finest films of this early century, Other Peoples Lives and the drop off in cinematic skill and suspense is equivalent to falling off of Everest. Lives, a sober but suspenseful crafted work dealing with the dreaded Stasi in drab East Germany was everything this sloppy escapist drivel isn't. Bad career choice or one hit wonder von Donnermark has only this to show output wise over the last four years and it's downright ghostly.
The Tourist is one bad trip of a movie that smugly attempts to overwhelm you with its stars and locale while paying cursory attention to story, detail and substance. It is a callous, bland product example of producer condescension for an audience that will settle for the crumbs of something that looks great but runs lousy. It should do just fine at the box office.
As if that's even possible.
Ignore the trailers... and the critics. This isn't a thriller, and it never tries to be. It is, wholeheartedly, a comedy. Anyone who missed that must have been watching a different film, because it's funny - in fact, it's hysterical. But not because it's "so bad it's good". No, it's totally intentional. The lines are funny, the pauses are funny, the actors are funny... it's like a younger, slightly subtler, Venetian version of Red. What's not to like?
We're all used to seeing Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie in dramatic roles - Finding Neverland, Public Enemies, The Changeling, A Mighty Heart... and it's so easy to forget that they can be funny. But they are, both of them. Johnny shines, as he always does. Angelina Jolie looks glorious, and when she smiles, the screen lights up. They don't have chemistry, critics say. Oh yes, they do, I say. More importantly, they seem to be enjoying themselves.
Johnny's Frank is delightful, touching and slightly mysterious. He has endless room to play around, and makes Frank memorable, and lovely, as only Johnny can. Angelina's role is more limiting, but she still makes it fresh and - yes - deeply amusing, parodying both herself and the genre in general. Watching her saunter around on her high heels, one can't help but recall what James Bond used to be like. This isn't Wanted or Salt: she has far more to do here than look cryptic and shoot people, and she does it very well.
Add to that the utterly magnificent Paul Bettany, Timothy Dalton, a few stereotypically dim Russian gangsters (they speak actual Russian, for once, and their funniest lines aren't subtitled) and Rufus Sewell, and there's no way you can go wrong.
Yes, there's a twist at the end - a twist that seemed to annoy most people. But does that take away from the film? No! It adds to it, because it's just so obvious, and natural, that it's all the funnier for it.
This isn't an intellectual film. Nor does it try to be. It's a romp, a fun romp with two beautiful, endlessly talented actors, set in a beautiful city (which is shot so beautifully that it becomes like a separate character). So who cares how intellectual it is? This is a film that's genuinely entertaining, from start to finish. And if it's snowing where you are, you'll certainly appreciate the sunshine. Give it a chance!
Imagine a movie, imagine that movie stars two of the hottest
commodities in Hollywood and add a sensual, somewhat dark
French-thriller plot. If you did that, you would have the trailer for
The Tourist, and it would sound like a pretty good movie, right? But
then if you take away the words "dark" and "thriller" and realized that
those sought after actors were actually last minute replacements, then
you would have the actual movie.
The Tourist stars Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp in what appears to be a very promising plot. Jolie plays Elise, a beautiful and mysterious woman who ensnares spy-fiction fan Frank Tupelo (Depp) into his very own web of international crime and intrigue. Under the orders of Chief Inspector Jones (Timothy Dalton) Scotland Yard's John Acheson played by Paul Bettany (The Da Vinci Code, A Beautiful Mind) tries his best to keep up Elise and the man he believes she is connected to Alexander Pearce.
For what sounds like a fantastic plot on paper, the execution of it all leaves a little something to be desired. Perhaps the problem is with expectations. As stated before, the premise and the trailer and two actors who typically take on fairly meaty roles suggests that The Tourist would at least have hints of substance, instead the audience is left with a beautiful and fun movie that is essentially summer action fluff think The Italian Job meets Knight and Day.
The problems with the film almost assuredly were the result of apparently several casting and directorial issues during pre-production. Depp's role was reportedly originally slated for Tom Cruise, who was replaced by Sam Worthington who dropped out over "creative differences" and ultimately was replaces by Johnny Depp. Angelina Jolie's character was also apparently intended for someone else none other than Academy Award winning actress Charlize Theron. The director, German born - Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (Director of the Academy Award winning film The Lives of Others) also was a replacement and who he himself dropped out at one point, only to resume his directorial role later on. It seems that for whatever reason, no one wanted to be a part of this film.
The Tourist certainly has its strong points. The visuals are simply stunning, whether that describes the beautiful European vistas, lavish homes and hotels or the lead actors, there is definitely eye candy everywhere. The action scenes are exciting and even the dialogue has some charm. However it seems that for every peak there is a valley. The Tourist like its pre-production story seems to have a bit of an identity crisis. At times the film feels intense and brooding, other times it feels like a carefree romp through the waterways of Venice. The dialogue and script have their moments of wit and charm while other parts feel like a reject Bond script. The Tourist is by no means a perfect film, however going in with realistic expectations; it may be just the way to end your night or your week
(Synopsis) Elise (Angelina Jolie) randomly sits next to an American
tourist, Frank (Johnny Depp), on a Venice-bound train. The police have
been following Elise for over two years waiting for her to contact her
lover, who embezzled over $2 Billion from a mobster. The British
Economic Police want to collect its share (taxes) of over $775 Million
to be paid on this money. Frank, a math teacher, and Elise must evade
the police, and also the mobster who's money was stolen.
(My Comment) This movie is unlike many that Angelina Jolie has played in, in that she is involved in very little action. Johnny Depp has a few minor action scenes. Most of the time Angelina walks around looking beautiful, and Johnny is like a lost puppy, almost as if they phoned in their parts. It isn't a totally bad movie; because it only has a little action and a poorly written dialogue for these talented actors. The storyline is not complicated; the mobster's money man steals a large amount of his money, and he is now on the run for his life, plus the police want him too. The movie contains some beautiful panorama scenery of Venice. Overall, the movie is not what you would expect, but it kept my attention, and it is a little entertaining. By the way, there is a story twist that you may figure out for yourself before the end. (Sony Pictures, Run Time 1:45, Rated PG-13) (4/10)
I was looking forward to "The Tourist" Depp and Jolie in a "Charade" like romp. Well, not such luck. Seems as if the director has never even seen a Stanley Donen movie. Not a single moment of fun. Not one! Angelina Jolie behaves like a first time model wearing dresses that were meant for someone else. Atrocious is the word that comes to mind. I haven't been this embarrassed for actor since Vince Vaughn as Norman Bates in the remake of "Psycho" Her lines and her delivery are worthy of an amateur, and the script? Goodness, gracious, me! How can this possibly be? Even Venice looks banal. Depp manages a couple of moments but doesn't look well as if we were looking at the movie in the wrong ratio. 15 $ a ticket. I'm so mad! Glimpses of famous (in Italy) Italian actors including Alessio Boni (from The Best Of Youth) add to the depression I felt sitting through this. They must have thought "a big Hollywood movie with Jolie, Depp and the director of "The Lives Of Others" what a break! Well I was fooled myself. Unforgivable!
'THE TOURIST': Two and a Half Stars (Out of Five)
Two of Hollywood's biggest stars (Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie) team up for this goofy spy thriller. It's a remake of a 2005 French film entitled 'ANTHONY ZIMMER' which starred Sophie Marceau and Yvan Attal. The American remake is co-written and directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmark who also directed the critically acclaimed German film 'THE LIVES OF OTHERS'. I have not seen that film but his writing and directing here is pretty weak. Pretty much the only good thing this film has going for it is it's two stars (and a decent supporting cast including Paul Bettany and Timothy Dalton) but it really has me wondering what ever attracted the two to this film to begin with!
Jolie plays Elise, the beautiful mistress of a mafia money-man who embezzled over $2 billion from a big time mobster (played by Steven Berkoff). The British police want the embezzler for it's share of the $775 million in tax money on the stolen money. They don't know what their target looks like though so they've been trailing Elise for a couple years hoping she'll lead them to their man. After receiving a note from her lover Elise sits next to a random American tourist named Frank (Depp) on a train hoping to lead the police into believing he's the culprit but she unwittingly gets him targeted by the mafia as well placing him in grave danger. Of course the two quickly fall for each other (despite the extreme lack of chemistry between the two leads).
The story is pretty simple and routine but it does have a couple clever twists towards the end and the climax is enjoyable. There are a few funny lines here and there (mostly by Depp) but for the most part the dialog is less than impressive. The direction is uninspired and the film feels like a million other mistaken identity movies we've already seen before. Depp is funny though and Jolie looks gorgeous. Like many big star combinations in film the movie is a disappointment though. If only they had picked a better project together the combined talent could have made for a truly entertaining film. I expect more from Jolie and a lot more from Depp. I seriously don't know what they were thinking, other than maybe what they were going to spend their money on.
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*** This review may contain spoilers ***
The only reason that I saw this film was because a friend of mine
forgot his ID at home and couldn't go see the movie we wanted to see.
Forced to pick another film, we decided on "The Tourist." How bad could
this Jolie and Depp film be? Both have been great before. Depp was good
in that first pirate movie way back when, but the sequels were just
annoying and I haven't been impressed by anything he's done since. If
Jolie really took this movie because it would be a "'quick shoot' in
Venice" (See trivia), she really needs to sort out her priorities as a
Nothing in this movie was realistic. None of it was believable. The plot was your typical action movie: Someone's money gets stolen, they want it back, someone will get killed if it isn't returned, there's some romance, good guy wins. The "twist" isn't even a real twist; they hint at it earlier in the movie and it continues to be something you consider, so when you realize it's true you feel like you already knew. How is that a twist? It's not.
I'm thoroughly convinced that the only reason people will see this film is because of Depp and Jolie. Neither gave a good or even convincing performance. Both were flat. If the entire world weren't in love with the two thespians, this movie would have flopped. I suppose it was just lucky that everyone thinks Angelina Jolie is a goddess.
Don't go see this film. It was a waste of a ticket fee.
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