|Page 4 of 28:||             |
|Index||277 reviews in total|
Okay.. Where to begin..
This is the most Horrible movie i have ever laid eyes on and waisted my time on, the so called humor in this movie is beyond ridiculous! its about two brothers, 1 "clever and good-looking" and 1 stupid (like always in B-movies)They are going out on a quest where they meet a pedophile bastard and an evil sorcerer.. and thats about it.. I can't see how such a B-movie like this can get 5,5 in rating, i wonder if people who made an account here in IMDb are lying about their age, because in my opinion this movie is only suitable for minor talented/gifted people or children. anyhow. this is why im giving the movie "1" in rating, i really think this movie sucked all the way down to ... yea you know.
Peace out :)
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Yet again another movie where dumb, fat, ugly, men get hot chicks to
fall on their faces to please them. YAWN!!!!
Natalie Portman's character - "The strong female hero" is just a stupid and FAILED attempt at excusing their over the top degradation of women.
The fact that this movie was made for (and clearly by) 13 year old boys, is not lost on me. And, while I understand I fall way outside the demographic - because I have brains and breasts - this movie is a sad excuse for entertainment.
The gay humor is tired, over played and unoriginal - get some new material PLEASE! And let's be honest, the drug references were just GROSS.
The movie has no plot to speak of, no inventive or creative story telling, basically it's just an excuse for a bunch of wealthy actors to parade around acting like total morons.
Hooray for Hollywood and their continued aspiration of dumbing down an entire generation! Well Played - Bravo!!!
Waste of time and money. I regret that I watched this movie and wasted
my time on it. I didn't laugh even once. Watching this movie you are
constantly subjected to distasteful sexual "jokes", gore, violence and
the worst part is that it's not even funny as I think it was meant to
What a waste of time and money to make such an awkward movie with such a poor story. One of the worst movies I've ever seen, which is why I was compelled to make a review just to save others from the misery of watching this movie.
I wonder how one could accept to participate in the production of this movie reading the screenplay, which is written by a sick and perverse mind.
I'm gonna paraphrase Roger Ebert here: I hated this movie. Hated hated
hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every stupid, simpering
audience-insulting moment of it.
Look, I can rant all day about broad generalities, but I'm gonna hit the specifics. Your Highness is a pointless, wasteful, shameless pet project that Danny McBride thinks can be passed off as a comedy. Look, audiences go to watch high-fantasy movies because they're silly enough. We don't need a parody, because in a sense high fantasy is in and of itself a parody. We laugh at the goofiness that comes unintentionally, not when it is shoved down our throats.
There's no point discussing the plot. It is stupid, pointless, and predictable. I'll summarize. James Franco is the darling of the kingdom, Danny McBride is the black sheep. James Franco brings home Zooey Deschanel (who might as well be a mannequin, she gets so little screen time), who is subsequently kidnapped by the evil Justin Theroux. Thus, Franco drags McBride along for a quest to save her, and they meet Natalie Portman (who apparently needed to balance Black Swan with this stinker, I guess...) who joins them. That's all I can say.
This film IS funny at times, but for all the wrong reasons. The special effects for Theroux's magic are hilariously bad. Do they give Razzies for effects? The faux-accents that high fantasy characters are so known for are brutal coming out of the mouth of this crew, to the point that I wish there was a mute button in the theater.
None of the minor characters are helpful, either. I shake my head the most at Damien Lewis. Damien, buddy, you were wonderful as Major Richard Winters in Band of Brothers. Why do you stoop to the drudgery of this flick? There is no redeemable quality to his character: just a poorly written, betraying friend who is also apparently gay. I dunno, I guess they threw that in for laughs. Cue up the sarcastic laughter.
The ending of the movie is abrupt, and in a way appropriate. McBride ends with (spoiler alert...not that it really matters with this plot) "Fuck it. Let's kill that bitch." You know, delete the second sentence, and I think that you have a decent summary of what I am sure was McBride's attitude towards designing this movie. Stick to Kenny Powers, Danny. That's something you're hilariously good at. For all the right reasons.
This movie was so bad, the teens in front of me, my guess as to the
Target audience was the 1st to walk out. A movie about nothing but sex
and pens jokes, so bad SNL cast and crew would cringe if they were
slits. Truly one of the worst movies made, and I'll watch Movies on
This TV. Not even worth a $1 rental. At least it wasn't a 3D waste.
So sad with what looked like a newer Princess Bride, and once you get past the opening credits, the funniest scene has happened at the hanging. Natalie Portman gives a fine performance that goes wasted, while Franco looks like he's stuck in a bad SNL skit from the 90's. Shockers to see each of them in a movie lacking of any worthiness.
I thought the AC was on in the theater because I felt a breeze. As it
turns out the breeze was coming from all of the sucking from the
screen. There is not enough red in the world to express how bad this
movie was. I am a fan of at least two of the performers, so I thought
if nothing else, I could see past all of the poor aspects of this film
and focus on them. No, I couldn't. I ended up feeling sorry for them
and wondering what tragic series of events resulted in them performing
in this movie. Perhaps they lost a bet. I typically try and say
something good about a movie even if I did not like it. So, let me
think. Hum. Oh, I have one; I never have to see this movie again.
See my full review at http://fatsamuraireviews.blogspot.com/2011/04/your-highness.html
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I've never seen a bad movie starring Natalie Portman -- until now. This
is by far the worst movie I've seen so far this year. It was a complete
waste of time. If you think things like minotaur penises being worn as
necklaces is funny, then this movie may be for you. It's chock full of
that level of material. Contrary to other reviewers here, I didn't find
a single thing funny in the movie. Can't cut off a minotaur's horn, so
sever his penis for a souvenir instead. Bwahahahah! NOT!
So was there anything positive in this movie? Sure, but nothing to make the movie worth watching. We get to see Natalie Portman from behind diving into a pool wearing nothing but a chastity belt. A couple special effects were kind of cool. For example, a sort of muppet-operated character smoking a bong had a head that was animated in a sort of way that could have been his psychedelic visions projecting through his skull. On the other hand, some of the CGI was pixellated -- swarms of something were flying around in an unrealistic-looking grid. Overall, the effects were good.
If it weren't for the very good sound and the decent effects, the movie would have looked like a bunch of college kids getting together and horsing around at some Renaissance festival. (yawn)
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Going to see this film wasn't a deliberate attempt on my behalf. Having
missed the screening of an earlier film, a woman working at the cinema
suggested going to see this cinematic diatribe. I ultimately regret
actually even leaving the house for this dumbfounded excuse for a film,
and ended up walking out about half way through. I only stayed to
ensure that the extortionate price I'd paid for my popcorn and the
cinema ticket wasn't complete waste of money.
The problem with the film in my eyes is that it was just puerile and unfunny humour for the sake of puerile and unfunny humour. Even in another comedy such as The Hangover, I at least cared about the main protagonists in the plot, and it was at least something I could relate to. I didn't really care if Prince Fabious and his fat jealous and spoilt brother completed their quest or not. Nor did I think that the anachronism of using modern day profanities in what was trying to be passed for a medieval context was funny. In fact, it was an unfunny joke which wore rather thin after the first 10 minutes. What's really rather infuriating is the estimated budget of nearly $50 Million! Where did the money disappear into the cracks of this terrible film? I understand that a considerable amount of the film was improvised and unscripted. I think this puts paid to the general malaise and complete lack of interest and disconnect I felt for any of the characters.
I consider myself to have somewhat of an immature sense of humour at times, and don't claim to be the most cultured person in the world. I still felt however that this film really did fall short of either a comedy, or a cult film. I don't know why other people on this site are calling it a 'cult classic'. It's not even a kitsch film which was made on a shoe-string budget with a lesser known director. I could have had at least had some sympathy for the outcome of this disaster if that had been the case.
It's always unfortunate that hindsight is a wonderful thing, and it's a shame that the last minute decision to see this film was based on a whimsical recommendation by a member of the cinema staff who was probably being facetious, and knew how much of a rotten tomato this film really is. If you have the chance to, please stay away from this one.
I have seen some bad films in the past, but this takes the prize for most AWFUL, badly written, poorly acted, atrociously directed, and just plain sophomoric films of all time. Previously, "Laser Blast" held that title for me, but poor old Laser Blast is an Acadamy Award winner next to this piece of trash. Don't waste your money, don't waste your time, and don't risk damaging your brain cells by watching this. The producers and director should be black-listed, never allowed to work in film again, and the Oscar-winning cast members (you know who you are Natalie) should have their Oscars confiscated -- no matter for which other film -- and should also be considered for the blacklist just for participating in this thing.
Children should not be reviewing a film. What do they know about film anyway? All this really is.... is a scaled down version of Robin Hood or King Arthur with some CGI and Portman's cute ass diving into a river. Other than that, it's just an excuse to interject urban language into an old yarn we all grew up with. Some of the jokes emanating from it are good and the Minitore pecker around the neck was funny. Portman didn't have to act in this part, she was just being her usual bitchy self like she is around the house. I did like the dickless elf part, that was funny.
|Page 4 of 28:||             |
|Plot summary||Plot synopsis||Ratings|
|Awards||External reviews||Parents Guide|
|Official site||Plot keywords||Main details|
|Your user reviews||Your vote history|