|Index||5 reviews in total|
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
This movie starts out with a corrupt Brit PM giving away the position
of some Brit soldiers in Afghanistan who supposedly killed the Saudi
king's jihadi nephew, to his assistant in exchange for not canceling an
$80 billion arms deal. They are expendable grunts in the kind of brutal
treacherous exchange that one could imagine happening, but immediately,
the figure is outlandish- no single arms deal has ever been $80
billion- America has probably given that much to Israel in the last
half century. John Rhys-Davies of Lord of the Rings is almost too over
the top as the blustery bastard PM, casually dispensing with the lives
of his underlings, as the plot unravels. The coordinates of the title
are annoyingly round numbers- military units don't travel 40 miles just
to get to even numbered GPS coordinates.
Heather Peace plays Capt. Jill Mandelson, captured by oh so evil Taliban as the only survivor after her commando unit is wiped out, and later also as her twin sister in Britain. The torture scenes are the lamest and most unpleasant of the movie and the whole thing drags there- she is soooo tough, she takes months to just give up her name, claiming to be a CNN reporter. While relatively slickly shot, it has the look of a TV movie- Peace has starred in multiple TV series- London Burning, Coronation St, The Chase, and sometimes waxes too arrogant and self-confident. French Intelligence are the heroes of this flick (a nice touch, considering all the grief they received from America for being right about Iraq), monitoring the betrayal, attack, capture; then arranging Mandelson's rescue through their extensive Middle East contacts. Aurélie Bargème is quite credible and appealing as the sexy, cool, concerned French agent injecting some decency into the stew. Back in England, Mandelson is ordered killed by the King's adviser, because the PM, finding the "guilty" soldiers were already aboard the Nimitz, gave them the coordinates of another unit, and the PM again dubiously obliges to help in her domestic assassination lest the King wreak vengeance on his adviser for the foul-up.
Almost bailed out on this in the first 15 minutes, but it gets better as the plot moves along. Her sister, an ex-Intelligence operative, discovers what is happening, with the aid of French Intelligence, and sets up an elaborate wildly implausible plot to kidnap the PM's assistant- Sarah, played by Marina Sirtis (Councilor Deanna Troi of Star Trek) and torture her live on the Internet with a slow-acting poison. Over a day, Sis somehow demands apologies for Gulf War Syndrome and the Invasion of Iraq, without ever getting to the pointed question of her sister till the assistant is 1½ hours from death. Luckily she's a computer whiz, so all the PM's men can't find her, but wouldn't they simply immediately yank the live TV network coverage?
Director-producer Tristan Loraine, a former airline pilot and documentary producer, deserves credit for at least allegorically calling attention to the monstrous lies used to start the Iraq War, which still provokes great rage in Britain and have engendered a serious investigation of Tony Blair. In America it has been whitewashed and categorically ignored by the media, Congress,and Obama- it is simply not mentioned, but there is a deep subterranean sickness at the vicious manipulation and betrayal by Bush and the neo-cons to start that misbegotten invasion, and the vast cost it has entailed in lives and treasure- now estimated at $2-3 trillion, with 30 years of disability payments.
Still, this is a weak movie- save your movie minutes for something a bit more edifying.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
This movie stinks of something that flies hover around. I mean it really is not a good movie in any shape or form. The script is unbelievable, the acting is questionable and the atmosphere is, well, got flies hovering around it. Because of my strange fascination with clanger B movies such as "Plan 9 from Outta Space" my brother suggested I should watch it. So first impression is that it is in the mould of a B movie or a made for TV type. I found myself laughing out loud at some of the scenes such as the torture of the female SAS officer (what the **** is a female doing in the SAS). Yeah, she's one tough bitch holding out for days before she even admits being in the military and come on Mr nasty torturer dude. What's he got up his slippery sleeve. Is it the rack, a high voltage wire on the nips or just a good old fashioned shoe to the head for breakfast. No it's none of those, instead he has watched Blue Peter and made himself some little flags on pins taken from his mums sewing box where he proceeds to stick them in the tough girls nails. Why did he not give her a nice manicure while he's at it. Despite an SAS lady we have the same AK47 that finds itself in the hands of different factions throughout the film (and never gets fired). A British Prime Minister who's over acting almost made me wee my pants. Italian special forces clad in ill-fitting clothes and obviously not Italian nationals. A countries national security system that is easily accessible through Google and the SAS lady's sister (same actress with a wig on) who is an expert hacker, pilot, Special Forces assault expert, pharmacist and prime time TV presenter. There really are too many bad scenes to mention. I missed so much through tears and burying my head yet I am glad I experienced the film. It's not all bad. The French secret service lady was quite fit, the producers did budget a helicopter for the assault on the empty farm and on the opening scene I particularly admired the fonts spelling 31 East 62 North (just in case you forgot what you sat down to watch).
The French chick had some Bigg Uns This is a British version of American 90's over the top STR8 to video X-files DTA and don't trust your government 911 Fahrenheit slop with over the acting, revenge romp. If you were expecting some intelligent erudite merchant ivory thingamabob. You will be sadly disappointed.. The problem with this movie is its about 10 years too late. We've grown and educated ourselves since then. The British Prime minister isn't anything like Tony Blair or Prince Williams he's an over the top caricature of a James BOND super-criminal mastermind (No Mr. BOND I expect you to Die!). He's so over the top he makes the ARAB royalty and jihads seem like sane reasonable individuals in comparison. Another thing this whole film seemed as if it was filmed at some plush English manor including the Afghanistan parts. Oh and dressing up Arabs in British uniforms doesn't make them Italian Special Forces, it just makes them JIHADIST stunt doubles who have to work twice as hard to earn their checks. One thing the women in this film were flat stomached, flat butted, but not flat chested. I'm not saying they were whipping around 48DD, but they filled some bras here. Even the buff kick-boxing trainer, and political aid MILF also had a nice set. What this film lacked in action it more than made up for in BOOBALAGE You found this review
This is not in the league of Plan 9 from Outer Space bad but the film
does have problems although I have to admire the writer's and
The film decides it wants to make a political point about illegal wars and the machinations of the New Labour British Prime Minister. However instead of presenting us with a Tony Blair clone we have an over the hill John Rhys Davies playing a gruff Yorkshire PM. Gosh we have not had one of those for 40 years in the UK since Harold Wilson called it a day.
I realise Davies in real life is a right winger who probably frothed at the mouth of New Labour occupying Downing Street and introducing legislation such as Human Rights Act and the Minimum wage but he is all wrong in the days when our leaders tend to be youngish Oxbridge types. Anyhow why pick on Blair, the Afghanistan and Iraq wars were voted by all the politicians in the House of Commons and they decided to go to war based on the facts they had and its the politicians own fault if they opted not to be more questioning.
In fact why drag Iraq into it? As far as the plot is concerned its set in Afghanistan, remember the place that was a training a ground for Al Qaeda that led to 9/11. The nephew of an Arab king has been killed there. Little mention is made as to what he was doing in Afghanistan. It has to be assumed he was visiting a terrorist training ground. The British PM in order to safeguard a £80 billion (Yes that is supposedly an accurate figure) arms deal with the Arabs the British PM betrays the army unit that killed the nephew. Strangely I cannot remember New Labour doing any such thing. But, never mind lets remember the films wants to critique illegal wars.
We then have a torture scene in Afghanistan which is concerning and slightly bizarre as to the torture methods used which seems to consist of acupuncture. Well if you have Afghans torturing a British servicewoman (which includes threats of rape and amputations) you are really going to get the viewers on your side with your anti illegal wars agenda aren't you!
Back to the film the servicewoman confesses that she is not a reporter but SAS. She is released and the PM in order to cover his tracks orders her to be killed by the Arabs. The Arabs in this film have an undercover group of busty Arabic assassins who pose as whores and one easy on the eye killer assassin has been tasked to carry out the deed.
Our servicewoman also happens to have a twin sister who decides to look into this further. It just happens to be convenient that a French outfit have been bugging the the Arabs, the PM and tells the twin sister about the dastardly deeds of the British government. The twin kidnaps the PM's spin doctor (Marina Sirtis) and tortures her live on TV via a snake venom. The PM sends more people in to find the twin and also eliminate the spin doctor as she knows too much.
On the plus side the film has managed to fit several shots of cleavage. You would have thought in a past life the director made Carry On films. As far as politics is concerned its naive to the extreme. The plot is immensely silly and the low budget means that the PM is wondering around in a country house, the type that tends to be used in porno films which is probably the reason how they managed to acquire some of the busty ladies I presume.
If ever there was a list of 100 worse British films of modern times this would be a contender but might luckily it might find itself lucky to be excluded because there are worse British films than this.
Thankfully there are a few familiar faces and the lead actress who plays twin sisters is a familiar face having appeared in programmes such as Waterloo Road.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
This film has so much potential with what could have been a decent Tom
Clancy-like storyline. I was intrigued by it and decided to take a
gander at this obvious 'B' movie in the hopes that I might be
pleasantly surprised by a diamond-in-the-rough. I was really hoping for
a "The Final Option" type of flick ...
I tried to write a full commentary of this farce but just couldn't justify the time it would take, this movie is that bad. Lets just go over some of the poorer (or more comical) moments ...
- A female captain in the British S.A.S. - French operative wearing low cut blouse with skirt in downtown Beirut - another busty French agent able to record secret British Prime Minister conversations ... anywhere? - a Muslim assassin with fake DD's straight out of penthouse magazine (Irag edition) - ex-intelligence agent making a raid bra less with loose, baggy top flapping in the breeze ... are you seeing the trend here? - Italian Special Forces looking completely amateur wearing ill-fitted undone fatigues - S.A.S. soldiers looking like a group of 50-somethings pretending to play war
This movie tries so hard to be serious yet comes up with the above examples (and that is just a short example of a long list) of why this director is a complete joke. He has done zero homework on any facet of the movie he is making and the events and scenes he is trying to portray. Obviously NO military adviser was on set to make any of it realistic. The action scenes (what few there were) would have been better choreographed by a group of children. Editing was performed by my dog. Decent actors Davies (tries too hard to be a reincarnation of Churchill) and Sirtis (who just looks old and tired) must really be hard-up for a paycheque to be dragged into this mess. What more can I say, save your time and money and go rent "The Final Option" for a good look at the famed S.A.S., real acting and good action.
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