- [Darkwing's just been bailed out of jail]
- Darkwing Duck: [referring to Tuskernini] I'm gonna give him a taste of his own medicine. Turn the tables on him. I'm gonna beat him at his own game.
- Launchpad McQuack: You're gonna give him aspirin, rearrange his furniture, and challenge him to a game of golf?
- Darkwing Duck: No. We're taking up amateur acting. By the way, where'd you get the bail money?
- Launchpad McQuack: [as Drake enters the empty living room] I
- [laughs nervously]
- Launchpad McQuack: had to sell a few of your things.
- Darkwing Duck: I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the slug that crawled... Hold the mayo! You're not Megavolt! You're Tuskernini! In a really bad Megavolt disguise!
- Tuskernini: I am *not* Tuskernini and this is an excellent disguise!
- Judge: That's it!
- [hits Darkwing on the head with his gavel]
- Judge: Darkwing Duck, you're going to jail.
- Darkwing Duck: [dragged out] But I can't! I've got crooks to catch, fish to fry. I've gotta rearrange my sock drawer!
- [door closes]
- Tuskernini: [laughs] Well, boys, it looks like we have the perfect cover!
- Drake Mallard: The judge wants me to reform Tuskernini, so I'm going to reform him into a pancake.
- [pulls lever, a piano falls onto the bed]
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: Then we can adopt you after the judge throws you in prison; unless, of course, he gives you the chair.
- Darkwing Duck: [noticing Gosalyn outside his jail cell window] Now what?
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: Don't worry, Dad. I've got just the thing this time.
- [Some lit dynamite is tossed into his hands]
- Darkwing Duck: [screaming] Gosalyn Mallard!
- [He tries to put the fuse out, then decides to hide it under the bed]
- Darkwing Duck: [screaming into the hallway] GET ME OUT OF HERE!
- Drake Mallard: Gosalyn, I smell a rat.
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: [pulling a rat out of her pocket] Oh, can't I keep him, Dad?
- Drake Mallard: [disturbed] That's not the kind of rat I meant and no, you can't.
- Darkwing Duck: [pressing the red button] Wait 'till the judge sees this.
- Judge: [arriving] This better be good. Darkwing Duck? I told you to stay away from Tuskernini.
- Darkwing Duck: No problemo, since Tuskernini's not here.
- [Darkwing opens the door and sees Tuskernini before him]
- Tuskernini: Can I help you, gentlemen?
- Judge: What is the meaning of this?
- Darkwing Duck: [stuttering] He tried to rob a bank! I saw him!
- Tuskernini: Your honor, I do believe he's trying to frame me again.
- [Darkwing attacks Tuskernini in anger, until the judge pulls him off]
- [Darkwing makes his fifth jail tally]
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: [from the window] Psst... Dad!
- Darkwing Duck: Gosayln! You gotta get me outta here! I'm going stir crazy, I tell ya! I've been in here over five minutes!
- Judge: [negotiating with Tuskernini] I'll send in Darkwing only after you send out the hostages!
- [Darkwing angrily grabs him by the collar]
- Darkwing Duck: [threateningly] I go in first or I
- [teeth clenched]
- Darkwing Duck: break your gavel!
- Judge: Never mind.