Moist: I'm Moist. At my most badass, I make people want to take a shower.
Penny: You're not really interested in the homeless, are you?
Dr. Horrible: No, I am, but... it's a symptom. You're treating a symptom while the disease rages on, consumes the human race. The fish rots from the head, so they say. So I'm thinking, why not cut off the head?
Penny: [pause] Of the human race?
Dr. Horrible: It's not a... perfect metaphor.
Dr. Horrible: What a crazy random happenstance!
Captain Hammer: The hammer is my penis.
Captain Hammer: It's curtains for you, Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains.
Dr. Horrible: [after describing about the freeze ray failure] Captain Hammer threw a car at my head.
Dr. Horrible: I don't have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka!
Dr. Horrible: Oh goodness, look at my wrist, I have to go.
Captain Hammer: [singing] But "Home is where the heart is," so your real home's in your chest!
Captain Hammer: [singing] So I thank my girlfriend Penny. Yea, we totally had sex. She showed me there's so many different muscles I can flex. There's the deltoids of compassion, there's the abs of being kind. It's not enough to bash in heads, you've got to bash in minds!
Dr. Horrible: Wow, sarcasm, that's original!