- Andy Anderson: He's just buying their love.
- Little Louie: No one'll ever accuse you of that.
- Andy Anderson: Ya got that right.
- Andy Anderson: Louie, get my surface-to-air missile.
- Little Louie: Sorry, Dad, you know Mom and her stupid rules: no missile silos in the yard.
- Andy Anderson: Ah, I never should've agreed to that.
- Little Louie: [waiting for the turkey to finish cooking] When's it supposed to pop, Christmas?
- Andy Anderson: So what, we serve it raw. What's a little salmonella among family?