Abduction (2009) Poster

(2009)

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12 ReviewsOrdered By: Helpfulness
1/10
Not really a movie, but an example of problem solving.
AtomicFirestorm20 August 2010
Problem: You're a relatively ugly looking guy, and you want to see some large breasted, but rather homely otherwise, women topless. But when you ask, they just laugh at you.

Solution: Buy a digital camera, and get a few of your plain friends and make a "movie" and invite these solidly average women with large breasts, I mean on a scale of 1 to 10 these "actresses" are a 6 at best even with artificial tits, to "star" in it.

And the result is this film. I give it a zero for acting, but added 1 point for having the balls to release what is obviously a scam targeted at desperate women trying to "make it" in the movies well beyond their prime. I also added another point for the tits. But I subtracted that point again, since the tits were AWFUL. Whoever did the boob-jobs on these women (grandmothers?) should have their license revoked.
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2/10
Really bad
krish-419 March 2013
OK .. watched this on netflix last night - so did not have to spend extra money on this junk.

Made with little budget and devoid of any production value, the movie goes on for a little under two hours, often without purpose and always with poor acting.

In fact the acting is so bad, that it is worse than a porn movie.

The director tried to spice things up with some T&A. But the scenes had no real sex appeal as the women's faces were mostly covered in a hood. Actually not sure if the hood thing was a blessing in disguise. Most of the women who showed skin in this flick were by and large unattractive.

An earlier review mentioned that this is John Orrichio's best film. That may very well be.

But that speaks volumes of John Orrichio's other efforts.
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1/10
I Wish I Could Forget
YinofYang13 April 2010
I've watched a couple thousand movies in my lifetime, enjoying even the cheesy movies that are churned out.

This movie, though, is one of the few movies to ever leave a lasting impression and not in the good way. There's the poor cinematography, poor lighting, and plot that could have been good, if not for the horrific acting. Abduction has excellent cover art and that is where the excellence ends. The movie is so dull, I had trouble staying focused within the first ten minutes of it beginning. The acting is horrendous, wooden, and it seems as if lines were thrown in, just to help ease the pain of the awkward pauses of conversations. There are gratuitous scenes of bound and topless girls, but if that's what you want, you're much better off finding other stuff on the internet.

This movie is just so, so bad I'm having difficulty finding words to describe it. There are better low-budget films out there!
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1/10
OMG-I found the worst move ever made
jim04026 September 2009
Are you kidding me? This movie got distribution? If it's not the worse movie ever made it's certainly in the top three. And these people leaving positive reviews? are they serious? Or just family members that acted in the movie. Poor writing. Must be the worst i've ever heard. The lighting looks like it was done by a ten year old. The directing was done by a 5 year old, the acting couldn't be worse if they were actually trying to be the worst movie ever made. I feel sorry for everyone who had to sit thru this movie. Are you getting the point here? it's awful. Terrible. Lousy. Can you see that i was mad paying for it? It's a student film! And a BAD student film. Good God.
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1/10
LoL at people who liked this
briansawesome2 June 2010
I watched a part of this movie on Netflix instant watch. I actually enjoy the genre of cheesy horror films many of which I can easily sit through. Why would anyone agree to distribute this movie? I'm convinced that this is a porn production companies weak attempt at making a soft-core/horror movie. Questions for the writer/producer: Why were all the girls dressed like prostitutes BEFORE they are abducted? Is there a reason you shaved off girls eyebrows and painted them back on? Why did you waste so much time on a convincing cover and not enough time on writing/producing the movie? ...anyway this might be worth a watch, just make sure you are taking notes on how NOT to make a movie.
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1/10
Disjointed Trash
artpf18 November 2013
ABDUCTION: The town of Process is located somewhere in rural New Jersey (where else?).

It's been in existence for over 100 years, although it's not on any known map. It's a nice place to visit, with lovely shops and friendly people. That is unless you are single, young, healthy and good looking! It's even worse if you are a female of childbearing age.

The town has a very lucrative underground and Internet business specializing in selling human organs for transplant, selling babies to loving couples who are barren and auctioning young women into sex slavery. They also have specialty shops which do a brisk business in antiques, leather crafts, custom wigs and used automobiles. The town's patriarch, Jacob, is in control of everything and rules the town with his nephew, Johnny, that is until they kidnap the wrong girl. Unbeknownst to Jacob and his followers, they kidnap a popular, well not popular in the United States yet, Brazilian Hip Hop Star named Bella. What follows is their attempt to dispose of ...

Right off the bat...the music in the opening credits put you off. They don't fit. It sets the pace for a bad time had by all. Whomever chose this score had to be way high. It makes zero sense. And you have to sit through it through the entire opening credits!

Then comes the really really bad acting where girls sound like they are reading from a cue card. Bad reading too.

Then there is the cut away editing that is so choppy it's annoying.

And someone actually says the Internet is the wave of the future! The film was taped in 2009!!!!! This IS the future fellows. You missed it. There is no coherent story and that music keeps coming back! Oh MYYYYY. Gag me with a spoon and shoot me in the head. This has to be one of the worst movies ever made. And IMDb says it's budget was $500K!!! Where's the money go? Crack?

First victim breaks up with her BF and actually sez she went out "drive- ink." I repeat: DRIVE-INK. Where did they find these people? Then she gets tasered into a pool and they take her out with a tiny fishing net that's you'd use for trout.

OMG. There is not one frame that makes sense.
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1/10
Utter crap
ryan-851-33357718 December 2012
Obviously, the only good reviews on this movie were submitted by people that either starred in this POS or are somehow involved in the production (and I use that word loosely). Since I watched this on Netflix, I wasn't expecting too much...and I was right. Only I didn't know how right I was until i sat through this abortion of a movie.

Here's what I have concluded by watching "Abduction": -It was filmed using a Flipcam that was being operated by a monkey with Parkinson's disease. Oh, and the monkey was apparently told to film absolutely everything...everything. -It was lighted by a 4-cell MagLite -The sound was by Mr. Microphone -It was edited with Windows Movie Maker...though the film makers used restraint and decided not to go with the "star-fade" transition. -They paid the women with Sudafed so that they could make and smoke more

Meth. -The breast implant surgery on all these women was performed by the same doctor that performed Tara Reid's surgery. -I've seen better acting at my 4 year old niece's Christmas pageant.

Prior reviews have said that this is the director's "Best Work!", so that means two things: 1) He's actually been allowed to make movies before and 2)this is his "best work". Heed my warning: Don't waste your time on this POS unless you really, really, REALLY have nothing better to do. And if that's the case, you should get out more...
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10/10
Disturbing in places, Campy in others!
DDPhilly24 September 2009
Warning: Spoilers
*SPOILERS* I bought this film from Amazon and I really liked it! I've read some really positive reviews and some negative ones as well, but being an indie film fan and a fan of previous John Orrichio films - I bought Abduction. The camera-work is his best yet with beautiful outdoor shots and disturbing lighting and effects that show how the town is twisted behind closed doors, but picturesque and normal to the outside world.

It's the story of a remote New Jersey small town that is not on any map. Basically the townsfolk kidnap unsuspecting tourists and sell them into slavery, they harvest their organs for sale on the black market or make leather goods out of them! Everything starts to unravel when an up & coming pop star from South America is kidnapped and her bodyguards come to town to find her. The whole town is in on the secret. The story is original and plays out well. The first 10 minutes are a little slow, but it picks up nicely from there.

As for the acting, Tony Rugnetta (Jacob) is excellent. His best role to date. Roberto Lombardi (Johnny) is perfect, convincingly evil & sexy at the same time! Christy Callas (Lilly) who is vulnerable & sinister at the same time and Gerry Kirschbaum (Doc) who has the cool demeanor of a Doctor with a hidden mania. Other notable performances are Deana Demko (Rosie) and Christina Sampson (Myrtle). There is rarely a stumble by any of the actors.

I also think that to truly enjoy this film you have to take it for what it is. A low budget, well made drama / thriller that is a little creepy, a little campy/funny and a little bloody. It's not a horror film per se and it's not for everyone. If you want the thrills of a Saw movie, pass on this. If you like Rosemary's Baby, this is right up your alley. The film has gotten bashed, but I believe that is coming from former colleagues of the film maker who are bitter. Judge for yourself!!
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1/10
so dumb so dumb, so you can run and tell that.
e-aensland28 October 2010
Alright so, I have come to the unfortunate, realistic conclusion that as of fifteen minutes ago, myself and my roommate have officially lost and will never be able to gain the- what? almost two hours of our life we had lost watching this atrociously filmed movie. I agree with everyone's negative comments, such as, not being able to believe that it was able to be filmed and both release. Or, about how they definitely put way more effort into the title cover rather than focusing realistically on the story and plot. There's absolutely no way this could ever happen, and be carried out successfully. I wonder how many individuals have this on Blue Ray? Not many I bet. And what the hell was up with Bella breast feeding a bloody stuffed bear? All I can say is that I'm kind of happy I wasn't on any source of hard core drugs use or else I think I would have had the trip of my life if I haven't already trying to figure out this crazy movie.
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1/10
Terrible and boring
Sandy Loam28 May 2011
I can't believe anyone actually likes this crap movie. Clearly, it was made by a group of bridge and tunnel loser wannabees who thought they had a "clever idea".

This movie is BORING. It's about 10 min. shy of 2 hours but it seems like a 4 hour crawl. It just goes on and on and on and on. They say war is extreme boredom punctuated by extreme terror. This movie is extreme boredom punctuated by bad tits. There is certainly some enticing subject matter: Rape. Tits. Racism. Rape. Drugs. Rape.

How the filmmakers were able to make this boring is really the issue here. It would be like screwing up a bacon sandwich. "Impossible", you say... but I guess not.

The (sort of) lead actress is the most un-attractive beast cow I've ever seen. With her drawn on eyebrows (say no to Sharpy®!) and the bolt-on grapefruits on her chest, I thought I was watching a Frankenstein move at first.

The acting sucks, but most people don't care if there's a parade of tits going by. The girls and the jugs in this movie are so disgusting that young men may find themselves looking at the guys in this film.

Watch this movie to see what the un-inspired, dull-witted suburban "auteurs" who live around the NY tri-state area consider quality.
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10/10
Abduction is impressive!
nobtis516 December 2009
Hey guys, I don't know what that angry, hateful comment was about, but obviously that person wasn't talking about this film, and if they were, then they never seen it!

This is John Orrichio's best film to date and the story will keep your interest from beginning to end. Plus, the horror will entertain your "Dark Side".... You'll see some things in this film no other movie will dare to touch!

I admit, I had a small role in the film (just one scene), but after I saw the final copy, I was like "Wow"! I actually was proud of being part of this film, and everybody's wonderful acting and effort really shows in the movie. Plus I am excited that it has been doing quite well since distribution and I wish "Abduction" all the best wishes in the world.

Give "Abduction" a try.... If you like very dark horror films, you'll love this!
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1/10
Valuable as the WORST MOVIE in your collection ...
shipdit0028 February 2014
... but all you would need is the DVD box for that, right? I bought my copy on eBay; five bucks down the drain! Thank you to the seller who gave me free shipping. My questions: Did the director read the script? WAS there a script? Was the editor on hallucinogenics while working? Is John Orrichio someone who inherited $100,000 and spent at least half of it asking people in his neighborhood if they wanted to be in a movie? Does he have another relative with a failing breast augmentation clinic who offered to get him laid in return for some free advertising? Was that surgeon on the same hallucinogenics as the editor? "Rocky Horror" was a low-budget classic. What is the opposite of classic? This is it.
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