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|Index||344 reviews in total|
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Parody movies. Ah, yes. They were an opus for National Lampoon, Monty
Python, Mel Brooks, the Wayans brothers, and Zucker, Abrahams, &
But, what happened? What happened is Friedberg and Seltzer. When they wrote Spy Hard and Scary Movie, they were great. Nothing idiotic, or pop-culture referenced.
However, there is a major problem. They make parody films as spinoffs of Scary Movie. The first three were Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans, and they were only cash cows to fit the benefit of parody films. Unfortunately, they suck! This is when Julia Jones got in rehab, Lucy, Edward, Susan, and Peter get their part-time job at McDonald's, and the homosexual Spartans were selling cocaine for the price of one.
But, I digress. They were terrible, but their next project... was MUCH, MUCH, MUCH, MUCH worse! Hence is the name, Disaster Movie was born. Born to kill comedies.
Seriously, why would it be successful? At least the name is correct. I mean, these films were critically panned, so why make this movie? Basically, it makes Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen look like Gone with the Wind, Epic Movie look like 2001: A Space Odyssey, and the ever-so-decent Space Chimps look like Star Wars.
Well, this movie barely parodies Disaster movies, it parodies pop-culture references, pre-tween Family Guy-like jokes, and movies in other genres that don't have to do with Disaster-related films. I mean, in my school, the classmates are entertained on this film. Not me! The movie opens with a shot spoofing the one in Armageddon. In the year 10,001 B.C., a caveman runs away from a mammoth before getting in a fight with Wolf. He then encounters a saber-toothed, gasoline-drinking Amy Winehouse, who informs him that the world will end on August 29, 2008, revealing their fate laying in a crystal skull. The film flash-forwards to the present, where Will has a "Sweet Sixteen" party at his house, despite the fact that he's 25. Will has a dream where he is a Jumper and accidentally impales.
On their way to the museum to save Amy, who called to tell Will she's trapped under a statue, they run into Batman, who informs them that they must go to the evacuation buses by 9 p.m., and also mentions that there will be no chance of survival if they go to save Amy. Learning that it's closer to nine than he thought, Batman throws a rope, which accidentally lands on a car that drags him away. With time against them, the Princess kills Speed Racer so they can hijack his car in the trunk and drive to the museum. When they get there, they save Amy who reveals the Crystal Skull from Will's dream to be the only thing that can stop the end of the world. As Will and Amy make their way to the altar, Calvin and the Princess find that the museum doors are closed and all the artifacts have come alive, including Kung Fu Panda, who fights Calvin. When Calvin makes out with the Princess after beating him, he sees that she is actually a transvestite by removing "his" wig while the Panda takes out a katana and kills them.
Meanwhile, Will and Amy run into Beowulf, who fights Will in the nude. After Beowulf is defeated, Will and Amy meet Will's father (Tony Cox) and Will returns the Crystal Skull to its altar, averting further destruction. The film ends with a wedding ceremony for Will and Amy being performed by The Guru Shitka, who tries to get Amy to "tickle his pickle". Then all the characters come sing a song about "dating" each other which sets of a chain ("Disaster Movie Sex Song"), ending with the chipmunks being crushed by yet another cow.
Generic plot-line for a parody film, hell, the jokes aren't even funny! I can't believe they would make this! Good news is, on Labor Day weekend, it bombed, making it 8th place at the box-office. Thank you, Tropic Thunder! You saved the day.
I don't wanna know of what they're making next. Wait, Queen Kong??? Nooooooooooo! I don't wanna watch Disaster Movie again. I wanna watch WALL-E again. But, it may not be as bad as... *shudder* Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen or *EVEN MORE SHUDDER (with a facepalm)* Air Buddies franchise.
FINAL VERDICT: 0/10!!!!!!!!
Just the name of the movie itself is bad enough, but if you're really
curious about finding out what's behind that white, disastrous poster,
just one warning: You won't be happy again for a long time afterwards.
Just as "Scary Movie", "Meet the Spartans" and "Epic Movie", it is build up of cheap, ridiculous and really bad jokes. But this time they apparently didn't care at all or even tried to make it entertaining.
They make fun of celebrities in ways that has to be seen to be believed, one actor has around 10 different roles and he acts in them in the worst kind way, the supposed-to-be-funny moments are just plain stupid instead, the "special" effects aren't special at all and the main characters are so annoying that you might start to weep just because of the bad and annoying acting! There's nothing funny or memorable about this film, it's just a cruel joke that shouldn't have been made or even thought about in the first place.
They probably named this film "Disaster Movie" because they knew it was bad but needed millions of cash extremely fast.
Stay away from this truly awful movie at all costs!
Seriously. When are people going to stop making this garbage? It's just
so stupid. First we have the trashy Scary Movie series then people got
inspired and made films like 'Date Movie' and 'Epic Movie'. And then
this piece of junk blew in. I mean come on! This whole conspiracy is
just going too far. Do the makers even know how agonising these movie
are?! Have some dignity people! Unlike the same old hideous gags, the
film makers got one thing right about this movie. It had the perfect
title! Disaster Movie. Yes, it is a disaster. It's a disaster in so
many various ways. In fact such a disaster that within the first 5
minutes of this film...I just couldn't take it anymore. It was just
torture. I then switched to a different channel, relieving myself from
the sheer disturbance I let my eyes and ears go through.
Overall, if you're looking for a short definition of this trash - look no further than it's 2-worded title! It just simply says it all! And sorry for my rating, I couldn't rate it below 1 star. I would rather have gone for -10000!
This movie was 100% stupid, I am very simply amused I thought Epic Movie was great date movie is OK, but this is so stupid. When I first walked into the movie theater I wondered why I was the only one there but after 5 minutes it made perfect sense. This is the worst movie I have ever seen, avoid it at all costs! There was not even one funny scene in the whole 1 and a half hours. I think the movie might have been directed by blind, deaf and retarded monkeys! The first scene had potential, it started by saying 10,001 B.C. and that can be so funny. I wonder if the editors meant to say 9,999 BC of if they really meant 10,001? Do not ever watch this movie!
Honestly if you're thinking about watching this go watch "Anus
Magillicutty" instead. At least that film had some redeeming qualities.
This "film" is to cinema what Hitler was to the Jews. In future decades
when people look back and saw that this movie came out and people
actually went to see it they'll regard us the same way we regard
cultures that believed stars were burning vents on giant chariot wheels
pilot by the Gods.
This film had no jokes. Picture going to see a stand-up comedian who's act was saying "remember smurfs, remember snorks, remember superman" that's basically what you get here, except this has even more irreverent pop culture references than a Shrek movie. Ignore this garbage.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
When will they stop? Not content with Scary Movies 1-500,000, Not
Another Teen Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie and Meet
The Spartans, Hollywood has churned out Disaster Movie - another
'comedic spoof' of the year's biggest blockbusters - which for the most
part were decent films; and in some cases Oscar winners: No Country for
Old Men and Juno for example.
So why spoof popular films? They were popular for a reason; and were, for he most part 1000 times better than this lazy, half-finished old horse tripe.
The fundamental flaw of Disaster Movie is that it's just not funny. Having Princess Gizelle from 'Enchanted' eating glass for example is not only disgusting but also cynical and in the worst possible taste, and then there's the film's attempts to be topical, by having Amy Winehouse spring up from out of a bush drinking Whisky and talking of 'having gasoline' which 'was good' - surely the potentially fatal drink and drug problems of such a famous person is not something to flippantly joke about, and more to the point - unashamedly cash in on; as Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have.
There is no plot to this film - people run around on the 29th August - as I said, not a plot, and because of this Disaster, ahem Movie (can it really be called a movie?) feels like one and a half hours of ear-bleedingly, eye-wateringly unfunny outtakes, which by the end makes one wish that like Iron Man, The Hulk and Hellboy, a cow would fall from the sky, and crush one to death.
Give the £5.20 ticket price for this film to charity instead.
0/10 (If only IMDb let you score that)
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
disaster movie is just a bunch of poor skits of movie trailers & of the
moment B to Z-list celebrities, thrown together in an incoherent way.
when they do try an actual "JOKE" they are built up and delivered with
the poorest of wit and timing, with hardly any connection to each other
or the story, even classed as inane comedy the "jokes" and delivery
and the rest of the "comedy" is as much effort as showing a character from another film, telegraphing who it is by shouting their name and doing a bad impression of them, thats as much effort there is to it. i think in a celebrity obsessed society kids are titillated by the mere sight of a celebrity or character from another film being on screen, and thats all the joke is, another character being on screen.
character from another film/celebrity+being told this is a comedy=funny?
The movie is only 1 hour and 15 minutes long, which is kind of strange for a modern movie, its very short, why do you think it was so short? because they couldn't think of anymore jokes to fill in time. Seltzberg had ran out of jokes and couldn't even pad time out with actual plot or character development(the main characters are introduced by just appearing on screen in a fully formed stereotype) which would have made the movie a little(not much) better.
no they just padded it out by dragging the joke out till they couldn't keep it up any longer and dragging the musical interludes out to the fullest, there is no actual tangible plot to base the skits around, the plot is just a backdrop, to show the different skits and celebs with different background scenery so the audience don't get bored.
the acting is terrible, the script is terrible, the characters had no depth or real like-ability unless you are fond of stereotyped clichéd characters and ar'nt developed in any way, the directing is terrible. that's why its still stuck at the bottom in the IMDb list, because its probably the worst modern movie ever made.
Just read the title. That pretty much sums up my review for this tripe.
Don't come near me if you actually LIKED the film, I might snatch your
eyes out and forbid you from watching movies ever again.
"Disaster Movie" gives us a birds eye view of what's happening to Hollywood these days - harebrained sluts and ho-bags are taking over the movie industry, producing these cheap, recycled, swallowed-and-then-vomited movies which insults the intelligence of 45% of the human race.
What I'm trying to say here is, if you actually find the movie well-written and downright hilarious, there must be something wrong with you. "Disaster Movie" doesn't have a plot, no comprehensible characters, no tangible conclusion... it's as shapeless as gas. It doesn't have a destination, it loiters on triviality, and the so-called "Disaster" goes nowhere.
Comedy Value There's only ONE scene which actually made me crack a smile. The Carrie Bradshaw and Juno MacGuff encounter. What bothers me the most is the screenplay writers/directors Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg violently raping Diablo Cody's award-winning screenplay, copying every catchphrase that it has, like committing an act of plagiarism, thereby giving another reason as to why should the two of them be expelled from Hollywood.
The movie is chock-full of clichés. Who'd laugh at Iron Man, Hellboy and the Incredible Hulk getting crushed by a falling cow? Who'd laugh at Hancock hitting his head on a lightpost? Who'd laugh at that stupid Women of Wrestling (WoW) skit near the beginning? (Well for those who actually found these scenes funny and risible, you better check if your brain is still functioning.)
Story "Disaster Movie" doesn't have a story. Seems like all the two blockheads have done is to collect as much movie characters as they can and alter their image by transforming them into obscene, cussing retards. Then, they line them up, and one by one, they get a share of their screen time. There's your story.
DISASTER MOVIE IS UNDOUBTEDLY THE MOST STUPID MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. Do not watch this film, for the sake of humanity. This film will ruin your day by feeding you huge doses of sheer stupidity. It's like every time you laugh while watching this film, your IQ is reduced by 2. Every applause that you'd give to this film persuades more stupid parodies to come and make men lose their sense of humor. If you actually enjoyed this, you're as air-headed as the two screenwriters.
PLEASE, DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM AT ALL. YOU WILL TOTALLY REGRET IT. I've watched it from start to finish, and my intellect just lost its virginity.
Will (Lanter) has always struggled with relationships and wants to
prove to Amy that he has it in him to make it, only the world is coming
to an end on the same day.
Any review, any trailer or anything relative can't show how bad Disaster Movie is unless you actually go to the cinema to watch it.
The plot is conventional and boring, the spoofs of current cinema releases are inaccurate and too crude and every other joke drags and drags until you can't look at the screen any more.
The naked gun trilogy provided plenty of giggles but these modern day spoofs including Date movie and Epic movie just basically ruin the originals, with exceptionally poor jokes and stunts, and this film is just pathetic in every sense. Is there a point to these films other than short term profit? Will these be made into long term classics? Who will remember certain films or celebrities in 10 years time when watching this? The movie opens in 10,001 BC, really poor choice, and prehistoric Amy Winehouse sets the tone of what the film will be like, cheap digs at celebrities and other films.
Hellboy, Batman, Ironman, The Hulk, Enchanted, Hancock, Juno, Beowulf, Indiana Jones and Sex and the City among others are the main films to be spoofed, while Winehouse, Miley Cyrus and Jessica Simpson are also slated, not to mention a really stupid skit on Justin Timberlake.
Stupid, inaccurate, boring, predictable, the only positive thing to say is this film seems to know that its goal is to entertain, which it does so by being so unfunny that you have to occasionally laugh at how poor it truly is.
I personally felt robbed of £7 after I left, not to mention embarrassed at actually sitting through the whole film. We pay honest money to go out and have a good time, and even if a film is not to our taste, then there will be some consolation to our night, but Disaster Movie made me want to stop watching films all together.
This niche will continue to grow which is very sad in the industry. Parodies can be funny, but not if they are crude, predictable and down right shocking.
Disaster Movie is an awful thing, and not worth the time or energy.
There aren't enough negative words in the dictionary to adequately describe how awful this movie was. No plot. No continuity. The writers seem to think profanity is a valid substitute for witty dialogue. The only disaster was that this movie was released on an unsuspecting public. But wait! There's more. We had the ultimate awkward experience! Not only were we subjected to one of the world's worst movies, but the star and a large group of his family & friends happened to be seated in front of us and next to us. We wanted to walk out on the movie, but how do you tell the star's aunt, "Oh, sorry. Your nephew is really cute, but nothing he does can save this total piece of crap. We're out of here!" At least my husband learned a valuable lesson from this experience - if the movie title contains the word "movie"... don't waste your money! Run, don't walk, away from this movie as fast as you can!
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