Disaster Movie (2008) Poster

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The fact that aspiring actors, directors, and writers can't find work while this crap is produced is absolutely appalling.
The_Amazing_Spy_Rises28 August 2008
*Disclaimer: I only watched this movie as a conditional agreement. And I see films for free. I wouldn't be caught dead giving my hard earned money to these idiots.

Well, to explain the depth of this 'film', I could write my shortest review, ever. Don't see this movie. It is by far the stupidest, lamest, most lazy, and unbelievably UNFUNNY movie I have ever seen. It is a total disaster. But since my hatred for this movie, and the others like it, extends far beyond one viewing, I think I'll go on for a bit.

I don't know any of the people in the movie besides Carmen Electra, Vanessa Minnillo, and Kim Kardashian, but it doesn't matter. They're all horrible, though I think that was the point. The editing is flat out horrible, and possibly blatant continuity errors make this crapfast even crappier than I thought it would be. Now I know that these films are not supposed to be serious at all, but come on, it's film-making 101 that if someone gets a minor facial cut, it should be there in the next shot. AND, if someone gets cut by a sword, there should be blood and at least a cut (though since the Narnia films "get away with it", I'll give Disaster Movie a pass here).

The 'jokes' are thoughtless and mindless physical gags that obviously take after some of the most popular movies of the last year (there's some from late 2007 as well, including 2 of our 5 Best Picture nominees).

You know what the saddest thing about these stupid movies are? I don't care how much money they make, or how many cameos they have, these sorry ass excuses for films are taking away jobs from actors, writers, and directors that truly deserve the attention. Lionsgate, I thought you had better taste than this. You should be ashamed of yourselves for making this kind of crap. And as for Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer? Burn in hell. You guys are contributing to the decline of western civilization. Correction...you are the CAUSE of the downfall of western civilization.
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There's just no point anymore
Really, I could write a scathing review of this turd sandwich, but instead, I'm just going to be making a few observations and points I've deduced.

There's just no point in watching these movies anymore. Does any reader out there remember Scary Movie? Remember how it was original with a few comedic elements to it? There was slapstick, some funny lines, it was a pretty forgettable comedy, but it was worth the price of admission. Well, That was the last time this premise was funny. STOP MAKING THESE MOVIES. PLEASE.

I could call for a boycott of these pieces of monkey sh*t, but we all know there's going to be a line up of pre pubescent annoying little buggers, spouting crappy one liners like, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and, "IM RICK JAMES BITCH" so these movies will continue to make some form of monetary gain, considering the production value of this movie looks like it cost about 10 cents to make.

Don't see this movie. Don't spend any money on it. Go home, rent Airplane, laugh your ass off, and then silently judge the people that are talking about this movie on Monday. Do yourself a favor.
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Not Humorous...in the least bit
GipsyDanger8428 August 2008
I am writing this in hopes that this gets put over the previous review of this "film". How anyone can find this slop entertaining is completely beyond me. First of all a spoof film entitled "Disaster Movie", should indeed be a spoof on disaster films. Now I have seen 1 (yes count them, 1) disaster film being spoofed, that being "Twister". How does Juno, Iron Man, Batman, The Hulk, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Amy Winehouse, or Hancock register as Disaster films? Selzterwater and Failburg once again have shown that they lack any sort of writing skill and humor. Having unfortunately been tortured with Date Movie and Epic Movie I know exactly what to expect from these two...no plot, no jokes just bad references and cheaply remade scenes from other films. Someone should have informed them that satire is more than just copy and paste from one film to another, though I shouldn't say that because some of these actually just seem to be taken from trailers.

There is nothing clever or witty or remotely smart about the way these two write, and I can't believe that some people still pay to see these travesties. It's an insult to the audience, though if they enjoy these films I doubt that they are smart enough to realize that.

Rating: Unfortunately there is not a number low enough (yes this includes negatives) to rate this. This deserves to be in the top 5 worst films of all time, right there with Date Movie, Epic Faliure...I mean movie, and Meet the Spartans. I would rather be forced into a 24 hour "Manos: The Hands of Fate" marathon than watch this slop.
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Someone please put an end to Seltzer's awful career
Andy Sandfoss28 August 2008
I was given a free ticket to this film; so I can't complain that I was ripped off (except in that some 90 minutes of my life were irretrievably stolen from me). These sort of movies (Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans) haven't been funny for some time now but "Disaster Movie" has reached a new low. There wasn't one real laugh anywhere in the film, and most of the alleged "jokes" were actually painful. (There was a considerable amount of childish, mean-spirited stuff in the form of racist, sexist, and especially homophobic, garbage present, along with ample helpings of juvenile gross-outs.) None of the actors were even bothering to put up any pretense of acting. There is nothing hip, clever, or even mildly intelligent going on here. The entire film is from beginning to end crass, vulgar, irrational, and utterly humorless in any human sense. I know that in the past these sort of trash has made enough money to keep Seltzer et al., grinding them out but "Disaster Movie" may just be the downfall of the franchise. The utter contempt that Seltzer and his collaborators have for their audience is finally beginning to show through clearly. If this one fails (and from what I saw in the almost empty theater there is a good chance of it), Seltzer will have to go back to the drawing board, stop making these lazy catastrophes, and finally develop a real sense of humor. This movie is an unfunny piece of puke - stay away from it.
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Awful, pure stupidity
rthco29 August 2008
This movie I saw a day early for free and I still feel like I got ripped off. It is totally brain dead. Burping, kicking in the groin and boobs all over the place. Lame. What is wrong with society, that films like this even get made? The parodies were all horrendous, and un-funny. The plot was lackluster at best and the acting was shallow, transparent and really quite unnecessary.

Anyone see "Idiocracy"? Remember the movie that won all the academy awards in the future? Well this is that movie. I have not seen a more rancid crappy film. "Date Movie" was okay, The Scary movies at least had decent plots, but this, this makes "spoofs" (if I can be so nice to call it that) for this year 0 for 3, with "Meet the Spartans" and "Superhero Movie" all falling flat.

Well I've wasted even more of my life typing about this sack of cow dung. So all in all, don't see this movie, unless of course your IQ is below 80.

Thanks, R
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My Eyes!!!!
borgcube-328 August 2008
Warning: Spoilers
It's hard to imagine anyone writing a 'spoof' movie even worse than Meet the Spartans, but Seltzer and Friedberg have pulled it off. It's not even just a little worse. It makes Spartans look like Raiders of the Lost Ark in comparison. You will seriously feel ill afterwards and more than likely have a strong urge to gouge your eyes out.

May Contain Spoilers....if you care: First off, as it appeared in the trailer, this movie does not spoof, or really even reference disaster movies at all. The set shakes a few times, there are some plastic asteroids, and a bad cgi tornado, all of which that do nothing to add anything to the movie, but other than this there's nothing even relating this to said style of film. Instead we get references (not to be confused with actual spoofs) to such films as High School Musical, Step Up, this summer's crop of comic based films, Enchanted, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Kung Fu Panda, and Sex and the City. I can't wait to hear Seltzer and Friedberg praise their own genius and describe this movie as being modeled around Cloverfield...they clearly tried to do this, but other than the outline of the small group of people running through the city trying to find the injured girlfriend, there's nothing relating this piece of crap to the monster movie.

I can honestly say I did not laugh once at this movie. All of the "jokes" were forced, and many of them were dragged on for several minutes at a time...the two writers clearly thinking they were onto some kind of comedy gold here. Probably the most insulting thing about this movie is, like all their other gems: Epic, Date, Spartans, they consider the audience to be mentally challenged...having to tell us point blank what movie it is they are referencing (again...not spoofing) Such lines like: "It's an inconvenient truth, it's global warming," "Come here you kung fu panda," "what is this enchanted place," "How do you know all this? I know because I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," "Let me get my Get Smart phone (proceeds to talk on his shoe)," and "whats with the marching band? I thought I'd cheer you up with a high school musical" all exist to make sure we're in on their super intelligent antics.

Please, save your money for anything else. Show Hollywood that they need to stop these two guys from making any more movies. I can't even imagine a 5 year old finding this stuff funny. Speaking of 5 years old, that's about how long many of these jokes will last before absolutely no one can find them funny anymore since, as usual, most of them are simply based on pop culture references.
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Wait... What?
tutomii29 August 2008
Honestly, what is wrong with you, Hollywood? Not only is this the WORST thing that has happened to you ---- you keep funding these "cheesy writers of Scary Movie" to make these movies. I mean, come on Carmen Electra, you know even better than them that you have potential! Stop portraying in parody movies!

See, I can't believe I am comparing "parody" to this movie. This movie has no "parody" or "comedy" in it, this is all referencing. All they need to do is see a movie title, take a line and a scene from a trailer, and turn it into a script. Never in my LIFE have I ever been so ticked off by you (Hollywood).

I mean, Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, you don't even care for the money, you just want to prove you can be a film-maker too, but that's not the point! Movies are something you should enjoy, and this... this is making bland jokes and pointless (as I may say "comedy) with fart jokes and people being hit with objects... or just getting hurt (but you realize that they are okay)?

Now please, STOP! You're ruining the name of "parody" and you are causing people to hate you even more!

Please, as a warning, DO NOT WATCH THIS.
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The irony is very correct.
mewte29 August 2008
Since the name of the movie is "Disaster Movie". The basic irony is that it's a ****ING DISASTER! A 90 minute **** flick based on pop culture and movie trailers. My god, Seltzer, retire and live off the money you made from your other below 3 star rated pieces of horse ****, please. Now when you do these type of movies, you're never going to get the "jokes" in 5 years, maybe even 2. They're just wasting their time, not really. They're just wasting our time. But whoever goes and sees this are brainless (Hypocrite moment) but bare with me, I got in for free and I regret it.

A free ticket, and a bad nightmare.

Do not watch this, support other films that are coming out today whom deserve it more.

Come on, do you REALLY want more of these? **** guys, just ****.
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here is a list of some things that are funnier than ''Disaster Movie''
peter1-82 October 2009
Here is a list of some things that are funnier than ''Disaster Movie'':

Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II

People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler

Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox

Other films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces

Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends
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FieCrier28 August 2008
OK, so "Disastrous" isn't an imaginative barb for this movie, but then there's not a shred of wit to the movie, so....

I saw this movie for free. A friend who said he "pissed his pants" at the trailer had free passes. I think he's incontinent.

A spoof of disaster movies might have been fun. This is not it. A couple disaster movies get referenced, not really spoofed. Instead, the "spoofing" is of recent movies of all genres, and of aspects of current pop-culture. Then again, how current is women's wrestling or the "Head On" commercials?

If there's anything about it that's good, there's the 70 minute or so running time (where did they get 90 minutes?) and Nicole Parker seems like she might be good, if she had good material.
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Someone please kill Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
femaleanimefan30 August 2008
If nobody does, I will. After the critically panned Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans, these two assholes decide to make another. It's the same formula, they make fun of popular movies in a tired, unfunny fashion.

I saw it with a few friends, hoping maybe I could get maybe one or two laughs out of it (I didn't expect anything). When I came out, I was seriously stunned at how lame the movie was. One friend actually liked it, all I had to say was, "What have you been smoking lately?".

I'm not even going to bother explaining the plot, since there really isn't a plot at all. All I can say is, don't waste your money watching the film. It contains no genuinely funny humor and is one of the worst movies ever made. And everyone thought Meet the Spartans bad, wait until they get a load of this one.
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Worst. Movie. Ever.
chrisrich777729 August 2008
Warning: Spoilers
First things first: disregard the rating above because they don't allow for rating low enough for this movie. I would honestly say 0 for real numbers although negative would be more appropriate since I left the theater feeling worse than when i entered.

Next, I have to preface this by saying I only watched the first half of the movie. I'll also add that I have never walked out of a movie theater and i would have walked out far earlier if I were by myself. Luckily i saw it for free so those idiots who made it will get no profit from me.

I presume that this movie is meant to be a comedy yet in 45 minutes i did not even chuckle at the movie. I laughed at my friend's face because it matched my own: "Why are we subjecting ourselves to this?" Crude humor can be funny, idiotic humor can be funny. Somehow Disaster Movie takes these kinds of humor to a lower level than I have ever seen. I have seen nearly all the other movies of this variety and they had some remote humor, this had none.

I do not think hallucinogenic drugs could have salvaged this movie experience.

I felt like someone should make a TV infomercial warning against these movies. Like the ones that tell kids not to smoke or say "If you have mesothelioma you are entitled to monetary compensation, call this number for details."

If I had possessed the materials I would have made a shirt to warn people constantly about this.

Please do not see this movie. Although if you know someone you need to get back at tell them to see this.
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Never EVER make a bet with your "friends"
Jack Freeman28 August 2008
If you saw the other previous spoof movies by these two horrible gentlemen, then you should know that this already will be bad. I'll tell you the truth, if you want to watch it as a brainless person (ironically meant for the stereotypical teenagers, which I am not) then you will laugh at it a bit. But if you judge it, even a little, the movie automatically fails. Why? Never ask that when it comes to these two men.

Remember the good old Hollywood days whenever making a movie was about showing people a type of art, and also a story that kept you on the edge of your seat? Well whenever word hit that making films earned you loads of cash, then all these greedy people came in the picture and its quite pathetic. These two are no exception. We still have movie artists (most notably the genius that is Christopher Nolan). But these two guys just...well I've been writing so big words, let me put it in simple terms for these guys...These guys suck, they are not artists, but instead money craving whores. And their latest movie proves this even more so.

The movie fails so easily its mind blowing. I mean nothing was funny in the trailer, and people usually put the best stuff in them (like idiots sometimes).

I knew it was going to be bad, but I made a bet with my "friends" and that wasn't a good idea at all. I have to write movie reviews in a paper and tell everyone whats good and whats bad, same for my friends. We flipped on who has to review it...Why me? Well I'm warning you at least. It shouldn't even be called a movie, nothing about it is artistic or original. The jokes..I'm sorry, the references are made throughout at pretty much random, like the Hannah Montana or the Juno gig (they were actually close to spoofing it, but failed by referencing instead of joking and twisting it).

Oh and please, the random wrestling scene? I don't know about you other guys, but I have high respect for women, and I have a high respect for film-making. What I do know is you shouldn't have something in a movie that doesn't add up to the story or anything. Nudity is not really needed (Titanic was the closest exception, but still you would've gotten the idea if you only saw her bare legs.) Now I hate it when a girl says all guys are the same, perverts and brainless (and if you disagree with what I said about the nudity in a film, you might be one of them unless you actually believe it has a point), and sadly this film just makes that stereotype a little bigger. Thats if anyone watches it, which hahahaha!!! By the way, when I said movies should have scenes and only scenes that add up to the main plot, that was the ticket right there to say that this movie fails. Yup, just like that. Perhaps I'm grading too hard for these guys. I mean its a brainless movie...Nope, they deserve it. Besides thats the best part about reviewing a bad movie, you get to rip it inside out. Thats if you know how to grade a movie correctly.

But lastly (well I've got about 4 scores worth of bad movies I need to write about, but whatever) the main idea about spoofing was brand new when Airplane! came out. Same with Naked Gun. And whenever something random came into play, the story was still progressing. For example, the arrow in Airplane! shooting out of nowhere: random, yes, but the story was still movie and no one was distracted except the audience. Perfect. Naked Gun, not only was it spoofing cop films and others, but it also had its own jokes. Same with Airplane! Anyways this movie was made for money, not to tell people a story. Simple as that, and never flip a dang coin to determine something that could be life threatening.

I give it a 1 out of a 10. Just do yourself a favor and watch good movies, or mediocre for that matter.
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A Movie That Made Me Cry
jneveau8529 August 2008
I normally don't cry in movies. Forrest Gump, Big Fish, Schindler's List, and many others have passed before my eyes, and not a tear has been shed. I consider myself a lover of cinema, with an appreciation for the art of film. I love many genres, including comedy, action, and of course, zombie movies. All of this aside, I watched "Disaster Movie" this afternoon, and it elicited one emotion from me: Anger.

I have never been so irritated in all of my adult life by a movie. I have watched these cretins put out all of this filth that masquerades as "entertainment", and have held my tongue until now. I will say this right now: anyone who finds these movies entertaining should be ashamed of themselves. I generally believe that people can have whatever opinion they want, but people that actually like these movies are contributing to the downfall of the art form of cinema. By encouraging LionsGate to continue making these horrendous movies, all we are doing is perpetrating a cultural crime that we may never be able to fix. I grow weary of the multitudes who flock to theaters to see this garbage, and I weep for the future of our nation if this is what passes for entertainment these days.

None of the jokes are funny. The parodies of films like "Juno" and "10,000 BC" fail to amuse, and even the lampooning of unexplainable culture phenomena like Hannah Montana and Amy Winehouse is an exercise in futility. No one has ever tried to do more with fecal matter and farm animals than this movie did, and it failed miserably.

I beg all of you, as a lover of movies, not to see this film. It is an absolute atrocity, and I guarantee you will feel stupider for having watched it.

PS: I work at a theater, so the only reason I even saw this movie was for job purposes. I didn't pay to see it, and neither should you.
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"Really, Who Gives A F**k"
ikrani18 February 2014
That's probably what the directors said when making this movie, though that should come as no surprise to anyone at this point. Once again Friedberg and Seltzer have teamed up to drive countless moviegoers to suicide with a new cinematic monstrosity the likes of which haven't been seen since The Garbage Pail Kids Movie.

The acting is terrible. I have no idea who any of these actors are (I refuse to acknowledge Kim Kardashian as an actress after all the awful things SHE'S put out) but pretty much any hope they've ever had of a career was more or less destroyed by this movie. I'm still baffled that Tim Curry managed to survive Scary Movie 2.

The plot... There is no plot. There is no story. There is no CONFLICT. It's just a group of stupid kids going around ripping off every single movie made in recent years (at the time of its release) while tornadoes and other disasters strike the area.

I wish a tornado had struck this movie during production...

And remember how previous Seltzer and Friedberg movies had "parodied" genre films (if you're using the definition of someone who doesn't know what parody is)that they were named after? Of course not, seeing as like me you've tried to pretend these movies never existed up to this point, but humor me on this. The title itself is a complete lie, holding no ties to the genre from which it takes its name other than being a complete disaster in and of itself.

Consider this my review for ALL Seltzer and Friedberg movies: they're all a huge pile of cinematic fodder that should be cremated, buried and forgotten and their creators kicked out of Planet Earth.
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Never has a movie had a More Appropriate Title!
Warren Marris20 September 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Having seen the Scary Movie Series and many of the other works by this group of stars and Directors, my hopes for laughs were low...

But even i could not have predicted how bad this really would be...

Within the first 10 Minutes, we see possibly the WORST Amy Winehouse Look Alike EVER in one of the most UNFUNNY Movie Moments ever created... I was never a fan of Miss Winehouse, but dear god - How could anyone find this parody of her even remotely funny?

It seems that the Directors have now reached a pinnacle since the first ideas they ever had... Scary Movie was Rude and Crude and Broke Barriers - It was funny...

... Where this movie is like Epic Movie, Just plain CRUDE! So Crude that it is NOT FUNNY - END OF!

I watched it simply because it was on the TV... I am damn glad I never saw it at the Cinema or wasted my money buying the DVD...

There is an ART to doing PARODY... Being Crude is Great but only if you can do so with Intellect...

These people need to take a step back and look at the works of the Wonderful Mel Brooks, Gene Wilder and many more... They may be old and their humour may not match the new generation, but they had a class that made it work and made it funny!

Face it Fellas... You have no class... And trying to be crude when you have no class means you are just plain crude... And that means you FAIL!

How would I rate this Movie? Sadly, We cannot do Minus ratings... So My honest view is I don't... Not even ONE STAR... But to submit my review I need to add one... And thats all it is getting!
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100% Disaster !!
desire_91131 August 2008
Why i went to the midnight showing of this movie i don't know but i guess its better then buying a ticket to this movie. Honestly i cant say i have ever seen a movie as bad as this in my entire life. This movie makes gigli look like an OK movie. There isn't one funny moment in the entire movie it is basically all crappy acting mixed with crappy comedy. The only way you could possibly find this funny is if you are high or have an IQ lower then 30. Kim Kardashian and Carmen ELectra's acting is so atrocious i actually kind of felt sick while watching it. I mean you would be way better off watching KIm's sex tape cause at least its more entertaining then this movie. I highly advise everyone to not see this movie ever and try to get these to directors to never make another god awful movie again. Its kind of sad 2 grown men find this funny. PATHETIC
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An honest comment from someone who has actually seen the movie
Kristine29 August 2008
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the way everyone talks about these guys are as if they are on America's Most Wanted List, boy there is a lot of hate before the release date of Disaster Movie. They have brought us the "stupid" comedies like Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans, pretty much all those movies have had the same hate, I can understand why. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are like the kids in high school who just cruised by, just failing every class possible, being happy with the C's and D's, then they somehow get into Princeton because their parents had money or something, it's the exact same thing with movies. The way that I just happen to look at these movies is that they are like a MAD TV spoof, just mindless entertainment. I hated Date Movie, didn't mind Epic Movie, liked Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie is a notch lower than Meet the Spartans. We have recycled jokes from the guy's previous movies, jokes that drag on and on to the point where you'll tear your hair out, and is of course, made badly.

Will has had a dream that he feels like the end of the world is coming. All of a sudden the city is attacked Cloverfield style, he and his friends run around trying to find shelter and figure out what is going on while bumping into one celebrity after another. But even Batman, Iron Man, The Hulk, and Hancock can not save this world. Will and his friends realize that they have to save the world on their own and fight evil chipmunks, aliens, and flying cows.

Disaster Movie, actually does have a couple laughs, I will admit that, I nearly died laughing during the Alvin and the Chipmunks parody, it was so badly funny, I just couldn't help but laugh. There are just some fun moments, I think it's ridicules that some people can not admit that. That's the reason for my title is because I saw a lot of comments from users that didn't even involve them seeing the movie, they were just complaining... this isn't the IMDb that I know, it's silly that people are just putting on comments that have nothing to do with their opinion on why they hate the movie before they even see it. Back onto the movie, my main thing that I'm upset with, this movie didn't need a script, it seems as if Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer just made it up as they went along. For some reason we have movies that were literally just released last month like Wanted and Hancock, not to mention The Dark Knight. I think they just coursed their way through this, while the movie has some funny moments, my HONEST opinion, if you want to see this I suggest the rental, this is straight to DVD quality.

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It's been several months, and my review was inevitable...here goes...
TheFinalAlias11 August 2009
Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer.

I'm generally a defender of the mainstream, but these two....these two....

They embody all that's wrong with Hollywood, hell, with modern film in general.

I hate when people defend them by saying they are satirizing films, they aren't satirizing films THEY ARE REFERENCING films, they are not a mockery of crappy Hollywood excess, they are an EXAMPLE of it. It's like if Michael Bay said his movies were meant to be a satire of excessive CGI and explosions. To do a parody or satire, you must PROVIDE or Impersonate examples of your topic and MOCK them over specific flaws and contradictions, you don't COPY them and change things by adding hip-hop dance sequences or having characters die randomly. It's clear they haven't even watched the films that are 'parodied' here, in fact, several of the films referenced were still being shot and in some cases only starting shooting, thus making effective parodies of those films impossible, and imagine for a moment if 'Hancock' or 'The Dark Knight' were never made and they still included references to those films, would you still consider that 'hip' and 'relevant'?.

And even IF, pray tell, these films were funny, they are still off-topic. 99% of all the 'jokes' have nothing to do with Disaster Movies and those that do are so minor they are negligible. FACT: You cannot parody something effectively if you don't even mention it. Cut out the off-topic scenes from 'Disaster Movie' for example, and you'll only be left with 3, maybe 5 at the most, minutes of film, mostly credits. I don't care if it's the funniest film in the world, if it doesn't in some way deliver what it promises, I'm still not even gonna give it one star. If the titles were meant to be symbolic or something(like how 'Dancing with Wolves' isn't literally about dancing with wolves and Chris Ware's 'Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth' comic is about an adult with autism), it wouldn't matter, but in this case, they specifically say what they are going to do, and then disappoint. And sure a lot of comedies have off-topic jokes, but NOT ONES THAT TAKE UP 98.9% OF THE WHOLE FILM! At least 'Bio-Dome' actually took place in a Bio-Dome!

So I apologize if you get off on being disappointed, sorry, but I'm not. I prefer to laugh when watching a comedy, or at least, have fun.

And even worse, when they DO make actual parodies of something, they only do lame, obvious, predictable jokes even a small child could do just as effectively, if not more so. Oh, so Hannah Montanna's a merchandising whore, WOW I didn't know that!!! It's like some kid who tries to seem smart at the dinner table when his parent's are discussing politics by making political jokes, but who knows nothing about how politics work, so he just say's 'I'm a politician' and makes fart noises with his mouth. Is that cutting-edge and insightful satire? NO. But these idiots seem to think it is, because it's basically what they do, only with 'actors' doing it for them. My review for 'Caltiki' is a better example of satire. And don't call me a snob, because I'm a guy who loves stupid comedy, 'Jingle all the Way' and 'The Stupids' are some of my favorite guilty pleasures, hell, I started a thread about my favorite bad films a few months ago before some troll derailed it because I dared question the audacity of 'Mystery Science Theatre 3000' and was recently involved in a flame war with some loser who thinks 'South Park' is a sign of the coming Apocalypse.

So don't blame other people's films, these are crap all on their own.

And if they intend their films to be that way, that just makes it even worse, so they intend to make off-topic, unfunny, parody-devoid, boring, unpleasant films? That just confirms and justifies anything people say and do to them. Even assassination attempts. And if they really do consider their films to be real parodies, then they are one-trick ponies, and since plenty of comedians get grilled for doing a revolving door of the same few tricks,(like the Angry Video Game Nerd swearing too much and beating up guest stars, or Dane Cook being juvenile and unoriginal, although yeah, he is) then these two are the one trick-iest one trick ponies who ever lived, and their only trick is being off-topic.

These films aren't even entertaining in a so bad it's good way, in fact, they are the antithesis of entertainment. I usually never listen to people who say they fell asleep watching a film, as I used to think that that was impossible and although I've done so, it was usually for a number of reasons such as being tired, drunk or forcibly on my own free will to escape a bad film. Well, it's true, these film are so boring they actually will put you to sleep like a lazy student in a cartoon. In fact, if someone could have filmed me 'watching' this garbage, I'm sure there would have been Z's floating over my head.

Ditch this crap, please.

Oh, and for all of you out there who are going to castigate me for paying to see this, I'll let you know I didn't pay a single cent to watch this festering canker sore of a film.

~ The previous review will suffice for your Freidberg-Seltzer film of choice~
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Who the hell says teens watch this?
Gunmaster4531 August 2008
I wish this thing has a lower rating than one, this horrible excuse for a movie, deserves it over and over again. First off, these movies are NOT fueled by dumb teenagers foolish enough to watch them. I'm 15 and even I know this is the biggest garbage ever. I don't watch these movies since Date Movie, because I learned right there that these movies suck. I went to a it with a friend and basically went to see how much it would suck. It sucked major ass. I walked out after a half-hour and hassled for my money back. When was the last time there even WAS a disaster movie? Juno, 10,000 B.C., Don't Mess With the Zohan, Indiana Jones, these are completely irrelevant, as are the hundreds of unfunny jokes ripped off the comedies they spoof (which is stupid as it is to spoof a comedy) and made them even less funny.

Because of this movie, I will probably never watch MadTV again because it ruined my opinion of many of them. They give pathetic, poorly performed excuses for "acting", and showed how horrendously unfunny they can be. (It's worse than when Tina Fey left SNL).

If you want comedy, don't watch this, spoofing is an art, a talent few posses, and these two jack-weeds don't posses it AT ALL. If you want to see good comedy, go to the store and buy Kentucky Fried Movie, Airplane!, Blazing Saddles, Spaceballs, Young Frankenstein, Scary Movie 3, and Superhero movie, because those movies are actually hilarious. Some less than others, but SM3 and SHM are far better than 10 Disaster Movies.

So anyone who says that dumb adolescent teens fuel this garbage, think again because this stuff is garbage and I don't watch garbage. (this was an exception because people like my friend fuel this garbage :P.) This films will give you AIDS, makes you lose your hair, make you go blind, become flacid, makes you get a purple sock, this movie will destroy you and your sense of humor. Excuse the graphic descriptions, that's what it does to you, on the inside. DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. IF YOU DON'T WATCH THIS, THOSE DUMBASSES WON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO FUND THIS GARBAGE. THINK OF YOUR FUTURES! WHAT IF 80 MORE OF THESE FILMS ARE MADE WHEN YOUR KIDS ARE AROUND. THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE!!!!
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So bad it sucks
81Scorp8 September 2013
This movie was on TV once so I decided to watch it since I wouldn't have to pay any money for it.

The main character Will (played by Matt Lanter) has a dream where he meets a stone age Amy Winehouse (I think it's supposed to be a joke) who tells him that the world is going to end the day this movie premiered in the cinema (Coincidence?) and to stop it they must find a crystal skull. Matt later wakes up to celebrate his super-sweet sixteenth birthday (despite him being in his twenties) in a scene where we get one unfunny joke and celebrity impersonation after another. Then disaster strikes (it seems kinda redundant though since this movie already is one), hurricanes, earthquakes, meteorites and other classic disaster movie ingredients hit planet earth one after another. Will, followed by his friends: Juney (Crista Flanagan), Calvin (Gary "G Thang" Johnson), and Lisa (Kim Kardashian) go out into the city and tries to find his girlfriend and a safe place and later realizes that he has to find the crystal skull to set things right.

The problem with this movie is, just like other movies by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, that it doesn't stay on the theme but goes all over the place and try to spoof almost every popular movie that was made that year, and some that even came later (Enchanted hadn't come out that year, they could only have seen the trailer). And I use the term "spoof" lightly. Once again "Seltzerberger" show that they only grasp the most superficial concept of what humor is and never really bother to dig deeper and see what it is that makes things funny. Sometimes doing things outside the theme can work but not if it takes up a majority of the movie. And (for me) this movie is worse than Epic Movie. Yes you read right, Worse than Epic Movie. That movie at least had a story. Sure it was borrowed and "crapified" but at least it was a story. In this movie, everything that happens during the second act, when they try to find a safe place/figure out where they should go, just feels like a filler where the gang stumble into one reference after another. "Seltzerberger's" over-reliance on potty humor, movie/TV references, random musical numbers, deliberately obvious stunt-doubles and crappy special effects does not save them this time.

Seltzer and Friedberg, your movie sucks horribly. If I may paraphrase a line from "Billy Madison" I'd like to say: I award you only one star, and may God have mercy on your souls.

Once again, if you want to see a GOOD movie made in the style that this train wreck was trying (and failing) to emulate, watch "Hotshots" "Airplane!", "The naked gun" movies, "Top Secret" instead.
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Awful! Awful! Awful!
jacqueline-sherlock20 August 2013
This left me speechless......and not in a breath-taking "Shawshank Redemption" type way! I literally wanted to rip my arm off and throw it at the TV it was so bad. My husband and I made a bet with one another as to who could keep watching it the longest........the loser buying the weekend beers! I was quite happy to lose that night. I had no idea what was going on, it kept skipping from one sketch to another with no plot, no reason and NO POINT! Awful acting, awful impressions, awful film! Pretty much is what it says on the tin, A Disaster. Do not watch this movie. You'd be better off stapling your genitals to a table for an hour...it'll be less painful for you!
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This movie is a full crime.
Oliver Hwang16 August 2011
Warning: Spoilers
My friend said 'never watch this movie. It sucks it hurts your eyes and it's bad for your brain'. He said this movie was the second worst film he ever saw. Because of the fact that my friend watched like thousands of films, I was a little afraid to watch this movie. Unfortunately, My curiosity won my worries. After I decided to watch this movie, my friend told me about a hundred times not to watch this movie. But I was to curios. Then last Sunday while my friend was watching the Simpson, I watched this film.

Before I start this review, let's go over some types of movies. The first one is a movie that's so good, you can hardly say anything after you watched it. Second: great, but not as good as the first one. Third: just good, forth: harmless, fifth: bad, sixth: very bad, seventh: a trash, and the last type: a movie that is used for torturing. This movie is used for the worst torture the humans has ever made.

I should have listen to my friend. This movie was a total disaster. I should have known that when I saw the title. This movie starts with some not-funny slapstick and a Cristal skull.(Yeah I know it sounds familiar but let's just go through it). It's something about 'if you don't place the Cristal skull back in it's place then the world will come to an end'. Yeah really great plot. Let's give a medal for it. So anyway, this person name Will breaks up with his girlfriend and celebrates his sixteen year-old party....... even though he's not. Here, High School Musical comes out of nowhere and it's worst than the original. Think about it, worst version of high school musical. Than the story suddenly turns into save Will's girlfriend and Will meet's all kinds of characters. Here comes some great shocks like BATMAN IS FLEEING, CARRYING A SUITCASE. I am dead serious batman is fleeing, carrying a suitcase. Not satisfied? How about this? Ironman and Hulk gets defeated by a cow and so does Hellboy. Juno gets killed by Elvin and the chipmunks who are really monsters, Kung Fu Panda is a man wearing a mask, Hancok is some guy drinking, Giselle is eating glass bottles, and Indiana Jones is an old man who is really really short. There are some other characters but I don't want to talk about them right now. No don't cry yet, because there is one last thing: a song on the last scene. Which is a song that I like to call f**k song. I'm not giving this name because the song is bad. I'm giving this name because THE SONG IS ABOUT F**KING. I'm not lying. There is a song like this. This song is.........terribly horribly, horridly, disastrously, painfully, sickly, awful. I'll tell you this. Batman is playing the guitar. Okay? I repeat, Batman is playing the guitar.

Maybe there is a bad movie that you should watch or maybe there is a movie that's so bad that it's funny. But this film is not one of those films it cannot be one of those films. My friend caught a cold right after he saw this movie and so have I. This movie is just.........awful. No, awful isn't the right word. There is not word in this whole universe that can describe this movie. Don't watch this it's bad for your brain, your eyes, your ears, your mind, and yourself.
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Whoever gave this film the green light...should be arrested
djderka1 February 2011
because he actually got the red light and thought it was green.

See what happens when you democratize a medium and make it available to everyone. I mean, give someone a bunch of 35mm film stock, a Panavision camera and 25 million bucks, some hot chicks and dorky guys and they think that they can make a movie.

Movies like this are good though!

Because they can't get any worse! And set the Jerry Springer crap bar even lower.

The plot is as thin as Kate Moss and the brain dead humor is lifeless even with real people saying the lines.

Just think, 25 million dollars could have: saved some turtles, fed some people, provided shelter for others, helped Red Cross, built houses in New Orleans, kept in the bank to load out to people needing money, provided 25 good filmmakers with a million bucks each, kept Leslie Nelson alive for a few more years, and could provide a dollar each for some 25 million people.
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Please, burn this
NotMoreMovies1 January 2010
This movie falls into the very rare category of films that are an example of "what NOT to do." The plot is 100% muddled (makes no sense whatsoever). Try to imagine an episode of Family Guy with no plot, just one incomprehensible comedy clip after the other--that is Disaster Movie in a nutshell.

The only question is "Do you want the aspirin before or after you see this?" Please take my advice and don't keep watching hoping it will get better -- it won't! Just save your brain cells for a night of binge drinking or heavy metal music. Damaging your brain on those will be less painful. I hope everyone who saw it in the theater walked out and demanded a refund.

Yes, it's that bad...I can't even think of how to describe it...I just watched it and my head hurts so bad I have to cut this review short to get aspirin...later.
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