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*Disclaimer: I only watched this movie as a conditional agreement. And
I see films for free. I wouldn't be caught dead giving my hard earned
money to these idiots.
Well, to explain the depth of this 'film', I could write my shortest review, ever. Don't see this movie. It is by far the stupidest, lamest, most lazy, and unbelievably UNFUNNY movie I have ever seen. It is a total disaster. But since my hatred for this movie, and the others like it, extends far beyond one viewing, I think I'll go on for a bit.
I don't know any of the people in the movie besides Carmen Electra, Vanessa Minnillo, and Kim Kardashian, but it doesn't matter. They're all horrible, though I think that was the point. The editing is flat out horrible, and possibly blatant continuity errors make this crapfast even crappier than I thought it would be. Now I know that these films are not supposed to be serious at all, but come on, it's film-making 101 that if someone gets a minor facial cut, it should be there in the next shot. AND, if someone gets cut by a sword, there should be blood and at least a cut (though since the Narnia films "get away with it", I'll give Disaster Movie a pass here).
The 'jokes' are thoughtless and mindless physical gags that obviously take after some of the most popular movies of the last year (there's some from late 2007 as well, including 2 of our 5 Best Picture nominees).
You know what the saddest thing about these stupid movies are? I don't care how much money they make, or how many cameos they have, these sorry ass excuses for films are taking away jobs from actors, writers, and directors that truly deserve the attention. Lionsgate, I thought you had better taste than this. You should be ashamed of yourselves for making this kind of crap. And as for Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer? Burn in hell. You guys are contributing to the decline of western civilization. Correction...you are the CAUSE of the downfall of western civilization.
I am writing this in hopes that this gets put over the previous review
of this "film". How anyone can find this slop entertaining is
completely beyond me. First of all a spoof film entitled "Disaster
Movie", should indeed be a spoof on disaster films. Now I have seen 1
(yes count them, 1) disaster film being spoofed, that being "Twister".
How does Juno, Iron Man, Batman, The Hulk, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Amy
Winehouse, or Hancock register as Disaster films? Selzterwater and
Failburg once again have shown that they lack any sort of writing skill
and humor. Having unfortunately been tortured with Date Movie and Epic
Movie I know exactly what to expect from these two...no plot, no jokes
just bad references and cheaply remade scenes from other films. Someone
should have informed them that satire is more than just copy and paste
from one film to another, though I shouldn't say that because some of
these actually just seem to be taken from trailers.
There is nothing clever or witty or remotely smart about the way these two write, and I can't believe that some people still pay to see these travesties. It's an insult to the audience, though if they enjoy these films I doubt that they are smart enough to realize that.
Rating: Unfortunately there is not a number low enough (yes this includes negatives) to rate this. This deserves to be in the top 5 worst films of all time, right there with Date Movie, Epic Faliure...I mean movie, and Meet the Spartans. I would rather be forced into a 24 hour "Manos: The Hands of Fate" marathon than watch this slop.
Really, I could write a scathing review of this turd sandwich, but
instead, I'm just going to be making a few observations and points I've
There's just no point in watching these movies anymore. Does any reader out there remember Scary Movie? Remember how it was original with a few comedic elements to it? There was slapstick, some funny lines, it was a pretty forgettable comedy, but it was worth the price of admission. Well, That was the last time this premise was funny. STOP MAKING THESE MOVIES. PLEASE.
I could call for a boycott of these pieces of monkey sh*t, but we all know there's going to be a line up of pre pubescent annoying little buggers, spouting crappy one liners like, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and, "IM RICK JAMES BITCH" so these movies will continue to make some form of monetary gain, considering the production value of this movie looks like it cost about 10 cents to make.
Don't see this movie. Don't spend any money on it. Go home, rent Airplane, laugh your ass off, and then silently judge the people that are talking about this movie on Monday. Do yourself a favor.
Since the name of the movie is "Disaster Movie". The basic irony is
that it's a ****ING DISASTER! A 90 minute **** flick based on pop
culture and movie trailers. My god, Seltzer, retire and live off the
money you made from your other below 3 star rated pieces of horse ****,
please. Now when you do these type of movies, you're never going to get
the "jokes" in 5 years, maybe even 2. They're just wasting their time,
not really. They're just wasting our time. But whoever goes and sees
this are brainless (Hypocrite moment) but bare with me, I got in for
free and I regret it.
A free ticket, and a bad nightmare.
Do not watch this, support other films that are coming out today whom deserve it more.
Come on, do you REALLY want more of these? **** guys, just ****.
This movie I saw a day early for free and I still feel like I got
ripped off. It is totally brain dead. Burping, kicking in the groin and
boobs all over the place. Lame. What is wrong with society, that films
like this even get made? The parodies were all horrendous, and
un-funny. The plot was lackluster at best and the acting was shallow,
transparent and really quite unnecessary.
Anyone see "Idiocracy"? Remember the movie that won all the academy awards in the future? Well this is that movie. I have not seen a more rancid crappy film. "Date Movie" was okay, The Scary movies at least had decent plots, but this, this makes "spoofs" (if I can be so nice to call it that) for this year 0 for 3, with "Meet the Spartans" and "Superhero Movie" all falling flat.
Well I've wasted even more of my life typing about this sack of cow dung. So all in all, don't see this movie, unless of course your IQ is below 80.
Honestly, what is wrong with you, Hollywood? Not only is this the WORST
thing that has happened to you ---- you keep funding these "cheesy
writers of Scary Movie" to make these movies. I mean, come on Carmen
Electra, you know even better than them that you have potential! Stop
portraying in parody movies!
See, I can't believe I am comparing "parody" to this movie. This movie has no "parody" or "comedy" in it, this is all referencing. All they need to do is see a movie title, take a line and a scene from a trailer, and turn it into a script. Never in my LIFE have I ever been so ticked off by you (Hollywood).
I mean, Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, you don't even care for the money, you just want to prove you can be a film-maker too, but that's not the point! Movies are something you should enjoy, and this... this is making bland jokes and pointless (as I may say "comedy) with fart jokes and people being hit with objects... or just getting hurt (but you realize that they are okay)?
Now please, STOP! You're ruining the name of "parody" and you are causing people to hate you even more!
Please, as a warning, DO NOT WATCH THIS.
I was given a free ticket to this film; so I can't complain that I was ripped off (except in that some 90 minutes of my life were irretrievably stolen from me). These sort of movies (Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans) haven't been funny for some time now but "Disaster Movie" has reached a new low. There wasn't one real laugh anywhere in the film, and most of the alleged "jokes" were actually painful. (There was a considerable amount of childish, mean-spirited stuff in the form of racist, sexist, and especially homophobic, garbage present, along with ample helpings of juvenile gross-outs.) None of the actors were even bothering to put up any pretense of acting. There is nothing hip, clever, or even mildly intelligent going on here. The entire film is from beginning to end crass, vulgar, irrational, and utterly humorless in any human sense. I know that in the past these sort of trash has made enough money to keep Seltzer et al., grinding them out but "Disaster Movie" may just be the downfall of the franchise. The utter contempt that Seltzer and his collaborators have for their audience is finally beginning to show through clearly. If this one fails (and from what I saw in the almost empty theater there is a good chance of it), Seltzer will have to go back to the drawing board, stop making these lazy catastrophes, and finally develop a real sense of humor. This movie is an unfunny piece of puke - stay away from it.
OK, so "Disastrous" isn't an imaginative barb for this movie, but then
there's not a shred of wit to the movie, so....
I saw this movie for free. A friend who said he "pissed his pants" at the trailer had free passes. I think he's incontinent.
A spoof of disaster movies might have been fun. This is not it. A couple disaster movies get referenced, not really spoofed. Instead, the "spoofing" is of recent movies of all genres, and of aspects of current pop-culture. Then again, how current is women's wrestling or the "Head On" commercials?
If there's anything about it that's good, there's the 70 minute or so running time (where did they get 90 minutes?) and Nicole Parker seems like she might be good, if she had good material.
If you saw the other previous spoof movies by these two horrible
gentlemen, then you should know that this already will be bad. I'll
tell you the truth, if you want to watch it as a brainless person
(ironically meant for the stereotypical teenagers, which I am not) then
you will laugh at it a bit. But if you judge it, even a little, the
movie automatically fails. Why? Never ask that when it comes to these
Remember the good old Hollywood days whenever making a movie was about showing people a type of art, and also a story that kept you on the edge of your seat? Well whenever word hit that making films earned you loads of cash, then all these greedy people came in the picture and its quite pathetic. These two are no exception. We still have movie artists (most notably the genius that is Christopher Nolan). But these two guys just...well I've been writing so big words, let me put it in simple terms for these guys...These guys suck, they are not artists, but instead money craving whores. And their latest movie proves this even more so.
The movie fails so easily its mind blowing. I mean nothing was funny in the trailer, and people usually put the best stuff in them (like idiots sometimes).
I knew it was going to be bad, but I made a bet with my "friends" and that wasn't a good idea at all. I have to write movie reviews in a paper and tell everyone whats good and whats bad, same for my friends. We flipped on who has to review it...Why me? Well I'm warning you at least. It shouldn't even be called a movie, nothing about it is artistic or original. The jokes..I'm sorry, the references are made throughout at pretty much random, like the Hannah Montana or the Juno gig (they were actually close to spoofing it, but failed by referencing instead of joking and twisting it).
Oh and please, the random wrestling scene? I don't know about you other guys, but I have high respect for women, and I have a high respect for film-making. What I do know is you shouldn't have something in a movie that doesn't add up to the story or anything. Nudity is not really needed (Titanic was the closest exception, but still you would've gotten the idea if you only saw her bare legs.) Now I hate it when a girl says all guys are the same, perverts and brainless (and if you disagree with what I said about the nudity in a film, you might be one of them unless you actually believe it has a point), and sadly this film just makes that stereotype a little bigger. Thats if anyone watches it, which hahahaha!!! By the way, when I said movies should have scenes and only scenes that add up to the main plot, that was the ticket right there to say that this movie fails. Yup, just like that. Perhaps I'm grading too hard for these guys. I mean its a brainless movie...Nope, they deserve it. Besides thats the best part about reviewing a bad movie, you get to rip it inside out. Thats if you know how to grade a movie correctly.
But lastly (well I've got about 4 scores worth of bad movies I need to write about, but whatever) the main idea about spoofing was brand new when Airplane! came out. Same with Naked Gun. And whenever something random came into play, the story was still progressing. For example, the arrow in Airplane! shooting out of nowhere: random, yes, but the story was still movie and no one was distracted except the audience. Perfect. Naked Gun, not only was it spoofing cop films and others, but it also had its own jokes. Same with Airplane! Anyways this movie was made for money, not to tell people a story. Simple as that, and never flip a dang coin to determine something that could be life threatening.
I give it a 1 out of a 10. Just do yourself a favor and watch good movies, or mediocre for that matter.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
It's hard to imagine anyone writing a 'spoof' movie even worse than
Meet the Spartans, but Seltzer and Friedberg have pulled it off. It's
not even just a little worse. It makes Spartans look like Raiders of
the Lost Ark in comparison. You will seriously feel ill afterwards and
more than likely have a strong urge to gouge your eyes out.
May Contain Spoilers....if you care: First off, as it appeared in the trailer, this movie does not spoof, or really even reference disaster movies at all. The set shakes a few times, there are some plastic asteroids, and a bad cgi tornado, all of which that do nothing to add anything to the movie, but other than this there's nothing even relating this to said style of film. Instead we get references (not to be confused with actual spoofs) to such films as High School Musical, Step Up, this summer's crop of comic based films, Enchanted, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Kung Fu Panda, and Sex and the City. I can't wait to hear Seltzer and Friedberg praise their own genius and describe this movie as being modeled around Cloverfield...they clearly tried to do this, but other than the outline of the small group of people running through the city trying to find the injured girlfriend, there's nothing relating this piece of crap to the monster movie.
I can honestly say I did not laugh once at this movie. All of the "jokes" were forced, and many of them were dragged on for several minutes at a time...the two writers clearly thinking they were onto some kind of comedy gold here. Probably the most insulting thing about this movie is, like all their other gems: Epic, Date, Spartans, they consider the audience to be mentally challenged...having to tell us point blank what movie it is they are referencing (again...not spoofing) Such lines like: "It's an inconvenient truth, it's global warming," "Come here you kung fu panda," "what is this enchanted place," "How do you know all this? I know because I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," "Let me get my Get Smart phone (proceeds to talk on his shoe)," and "whats with the marching band? I thought I'd cheer you up with a high school musical" all exist to make sure we're in on their super intelligent antics.
Please, save your money for anything else. Show Hollywood that they need to stop these two guys from making any more movies. I can't even imagine a 5 year old finding this stuff funny. Speaking of 5 years old, that's about how long many of these jokes will last before absolutely no one can find them funny anymore since, as usual, most of them are simply based on pop culture references.
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