Bitch Slap (2009) Poster

(2009)

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5/10
Girls in a dangerous situation bust a move as they try to keep abreast of things.
tyler-and-jack18 April 2010
Rick Jacobson co-wrote and directed this strange movie that in so many ways could easily be rated a 1/10 but in so many other ways could be a 10/10, depending on what keeps you happy. I am going slap bang in the middle.

Essentially, it's a catfight that lasts for about 100 minutes with Trixie (the gorgeous Julia Voth), Hel (the lovely Erin Cummings) and Camero (the annoying America Olivo) all squabbling as they try to uncover the location of some stolen goods. There is a little bit more to it than that, though nothing unpredictable, and there are a few more names in the cast (including small roles for Kevin Sorbo and Lucy Lawless) but, let's be honest, this movie is all about the three leading ladies.

The dialogue is like something written by someone who wants to show themselves off as a blend of Frank Miller and Quentin Tarantino but who, unfortunately, hasn't quite hit puberty yet and so gets it so very, very wrong. The same can be said of the soundtrack choices although, somehow, some of it works well considering the level of the imagery on display.

The acting is almost laughably bad in places. Olivo, with her eye-rolling and constant snarling, is the worst offender but Cummings isn't too far behind her. Thanks to her character, and the ditzy cutie vibe she has, Julia Voth comes out of things the best.

But let's get to the big plus of this movie. The main selling point. Shallow and base as it is, this film is about breasts. The camera almost seems reluctant to give us a head shot of the leading ladies when it can dwell below the neck area and keep a heaving bosom on display. Which is, in a really juvenile way, kind of brilliant. It's just a shame that the movie veers between the gleefully excessive and the surprisingly tame. We get to see lots of cleavage but not much actual nudity (and none at all from the three leads), we get some crazy violence but most of it is either cut away from or overlaid with so much CGI that it's almost cartoonish anyway.

There's also the look of the thing, those who dislike the artificiality offered by fare such as Sin City will dislike the stylised look of this movie. It's fun in places but always feels so false that you never stay in the bizarre environment the movie wants you to inhabit.

Overall, this is fun fun fun for those who can enjoy someone dealing in lowest common denominator, exploitative fare. It has a sense of humour and self-awareness but that can't make up for it's obvious failings. For those wanting something actually worth watching with decent acting and a storyline you care about I would advise you to look elsewhere.

See this if you like: Sin City, Death Proof, Charlie's Angels.
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10/10
Its all in the title really
scored27 December 2011
Warning: Spoilers
I'm surprised this has scored so low, now its not Oscar material, but really what sort of movie do you expect? Its a slick, tongue in cheek, entertaining romp which surprised me and left me with a "better than I expected" kinda feeling. Looks like the crew took some risks and in my opinion I reckon paid off. Been a couple of years since I saw it and I may need to escape for nearly 2 hours I'm going to give it a whirl again.

The problem is its not the deer hunter, harry potter, mission impossible, kill bill, schindlers list or hamlet. Hmm! is a movie called bitch slap going to appeal to my guardian reading, yoghurt weaving, bleeding hart liberal mind??? The promo poster clearly represented exactly what kind of movie is was going to be and with those expectations I'm voting a 10.
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7/10
If you like boobs and blood, this one is a good one.
king_of_queens198718 December 2009
Starts off like a cheap porn movie, but turns out as quite a good action movie, Tarantino style. Lots of blood and violence. A lot of nice (mean but also in a good way) and nude girls. A story that rather falls in the background by what you get to see. Funny special effects that are not all that bad and fit the movie quite well. Lots of nice girls. Cat fights among hot girls. More girls, and yeah well, naked girls. This movie lives up to its title "bitch slap" rules this movie. And it has got Hercules, Kevin Sorbo in it. All in all if you are bored and got 1 1/2 hours to kill, give this movie a go but don't expect an A movie, more of a good B movie.
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7/10
Fun Russ Meyer Tribute
locohombre8013 November 2009
Warning: Spoilers
The name says it all. I'm not sure why this movie ended up at the Fangoria Festival. It's not a horror movie. Not even close. The catalog advertised it as a Russ Meyer tribute which tells you what to expect.

There's a group of attractive young women with ridiculous names like Camero. They're bad girls who go after a crime boss in the desert. That's the extent of it. The plot is secondary to the sex and mayhem.

This was definitely a fun movie. I've read that a lot of green screen was used but it wasn't as distracting as some have claimed. I have no idea why Jamesbond would have compared it to Rocky Horror. Maybe it was the only cult movie he had ever seen. Rocky Horror it's not, but it's a great looking time waster.
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1/10
Stupid, boring, and no nudity as others would have you believe
Bob Bitching3 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
This is another very low budget piece of mindless idiotic movie.

I've seen some previous post on here stating that it has lots of nude scenes. Well that's not true at all. There is maybe one quick scene where you get a boob shot, but that's about it. So if that's what you are looking for, don't bother.

If it's a Quentin Tarantino type of movie you are looking for, again pass up on this one.

I've seen better plots and acting in middle school plays. If you are a 12 year old boy, then this might do it for you. If your brain dead, this might do it for you. If you love Steven Seagal movies, this might do it for you. If you have an IQ above 75, then this not for you.
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8/10
Bitch Slap (2009)
SnakesOnAnAfricanPlain13 September 2012
Bitch Slap sees a gang of scantily clad ladies journey into the desert in an attempt to steal 200 million dollars worth of diamonds. If you're a fan of trashy exploitation flicks and love guns, cleavage, and women getting out of cars in slow-motion, then Bitch Slap was made with you in mind. It's fun, it's hyperactive, and it's a film that does not disappoint. Never promising to be more than it is, it succeeds in being more fun and funnier than one would expect. It's the kind of film where they take a break from the plot in order for the women to just pour water over each other. Many memorable scenes take place as a ridiculous but engaging plot unravels. I hope we can see more films like Bitch Slap over the next decade.
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3/10
Weak satire/homage of material that was already a spoof and satire of itself to start with.
dbborroughs10 January 2010
Warning: Spoilers
It begins with one of our heroines sitting bruised and broken in the middle of carnage and looking up and wondering aloud how it all came to this.

I was wondering the same thing.

This is a send up/homage/satire of the bad girls gone worse genre that Russ Meyer did so well (for some tastes anyway). It has three well endowed girls going after a fortune held by a crime lord and chronicles the death and destruction that follows. Its very tongue in cheek with an over abundance of close ups of the female form, pithy dialog and lots of violence.

The trouble is that the film is essentially sending up material that was sending itself up to start. Meyer was a very knowing filmmaker and its kind of hard to be any more knowing then he was. The other trouble is that in order to send up the material the filmmakers here have tried to take an intentionally "bad" take on some things. the bump up and inflate things to the point of silliness. The trouble was that the type of film that they are sending up were more often then not played painfully straight which is what made them so much fun. If you play the material with any sort of real knowing the films become unbearable (Russ Meyer was one of the very few people who ever managed to make the knowingness work).

I found the film to be a waste of my time. I get the jokes, I get the idea behind it (I could probably quote you the films this is riffing on) but I don't think it works at all. No thats not true, this is a five minute SNL sketch stretched to 100 minutes. This is one of the couple dozen recent and semi recent films that have been made in the wake of Quentin Tarantino's re-purposing exploitation classics as mainstream films (think Grindhouse, Kill Bill or Inglorious Basterds). Everyone seems to think that they can do what Tarantino does, but its clear that few people understand that he's not just sending up the schlock masterpieces but taking the good parts and making something more out of them (And as much as I complain about Tarantino I must insist that I do so because I think he is wasting his talent).

Frankly there are better ways to spend your time, like watching a Russ Meyer film or one of the real exploitation films this film tries to emulate and send up (Better yet, go find one of the films by the late great Claudia Jennings and you'll see how unnecessary this film was).
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7/10
Modest, unpretentious, and very likable
ph-681 August 2010
Bitchslap is a young unpretentious movie, no big names, no big budget. It has a story to tell, which involves six lovely breasts, and it tells its story with tightly focused exuberance, excitement, and a certain sense of wonder. There's none of that old Hollywood cynicism, no gratuitous manipulation of the viewer, no wandering, no missteps.

We're promised three lovely ladies who alternately fondle or beat the daylight out of each other and every passing male, and we get that. In loving slow motion, with dramatic explosions, bullets, and music, gallons of water, blood, and gasoline, and dialog that takes cinematic intellectualism out into the back yard and beats it to a pulp with a heavy shovel.

You can watch any movie on many levels. Don't go into this one expecting a complex plot, deep characterization, or philosophical questions. It's a cartoon based around breasts that does not demean women. This by itself should satisfy many of us. However, it is an intellectual movie in some ways, especially in its treatment of gender.

The tight focus and almost perfect presentation makes me think the team behind this really enjoyed making the movie and will give us more of the same, probably more sophisticated and ambitious, in the future.
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10/10
The Ultimate Feminist Action Movie
chicagopoetry9 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
In the vein of Quentin Tarantino's Planet Terror, Bitch Slap is a salute to feminist cult classics such as Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Produced in a colorful, visually stunning graphic novel style, there is never a dull moment or a wasted scene in this hilariously overly dramatic shocker. Even the most absurd bits are performed with a straight face and overall this outrageously entertaining over the edge superhero epic comes off as completely sincere. This is not a parody of a B-movie, this is the real deal, long drawn out scenes of lesbianism, cat fights, abuse to any male unfortunate enough to come across our three gorgeous, big breasted anti-heroes, 007 gadgets as well as flashbacks reminiscent of Pulp Fiction. The horribly campy dialog is so well written that you won't be able to get the word "kooterlicious" out of your mind for a long time. Bitch Slap is as fun as a barrel of monkeys tossed into a pit of jello. If you like action and hot chicks: this is a MUST SEE!
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6/10
Russ Meyer inspired throwback is high on creative grindhouse style but falls short on earning cult status...
jmaruyama13 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Rick Jacobson's "Bitch Slap" is not for everyone. With it's off-the-wall violent action, campy humor, emphasis on "Sexploitation" and "grindhouse" styled look it seems to want to cater to the film school/B-Movie fanatics and Tarantino devotees but unfortunately with its loopy story and in-your-face attitude may not win over an increasingly jaded audience already having already seen "Sin City", "Crank" and "Smokin' Aces".

Clearly, "Bitch Slap" is Jacobson's tribute to Russ Meyer, whose raunchy but fun trash cinema of the 60's and 70's films such as "Beyond The Valley of the Dolls" and "Super Vixens" inspired a generation of cult movie directors and films. "Bitch Slap" is a homage in particular to Meyer's cult classic "Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Kill! (a personal favorite) and even has scenes from "Pussycat..." in the fun opening visual montage which also references other sexploitation films and icons of the 60s and 70s like Betty Page, "Bonnie & Clyde", "They Call Her One Eye", Pam Grier and others. It definitely sets the viewer up for what to expect - beautiful women,saucy dialog, teasing sex and mindless fun.

The story seems simple enough - three gorgeous, buxom but desperate women attempt to retrieve a cache of stolen diamonds worth millions from a corrupt cop but soon find themselves involved with more they bargained for when they find out it now belongs to a legendary, faceless and ruthless criminal mastermind known only as "Pinky". The three lead characters have pretty interesting pasts to be sure: Hel (Erin Cummings) is a classy con artist and thief who in actuality is Foxy 69, a secret agent in the style of James Bond (or more appropriately Raquel Welch's Fathom Harvill from "Fanthom"); her partners in crime are "Camerro"(America Olivio) an out-of-control bad-ass blondie who becomes increasingly unhinged throughout the course of the film; and sweet-faced Trixie (the stunning Julia Voth), who has a body to die for and whose naive and innocent personality seems too good to be true. As movie clichés go, not only are these girls well-versed in guns and martial arts but they are also horny lesbians (any male movie goers dream).

Eric Gruendemann and Rick Jacobson's story borrows a lot from Bryan Singer/Christopher McQuarrie's brilliant "The Usual Suspects" but unfortunately the "Keyser Soze" type reveal seems a bit too much and as the movie unfolds the details of the whole story (told in annoying flashbacks) the story becomes increasingly outlandish and unbelievable. Even the ending which goes for a M. Night Shyamalan "Unbreakable" shock seems contrived and forced.

I must admit however that Jacobson's inventive, stylish and hyperactive directive style is pretty enjoyable. Jacobson (who TV fans may know from his work on such campy shows like "Cleaopatra 2525", "She Spies", "Xena: Warrior Princess" and "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys") brings a very Japanese anime, geek culture vibe to the film. It's nothing new considering all the legions of Tarantino-wannabe directors trying to cash in on the MTV video method of movie making but it definitely works here. The dialog tries to replicate the edgy style of a Diablo Cody and Tarantino but also misses the mark.

The three lead actresses are definitely hot and really entice the audience with their beauty. Erin Cummings is great as the cool and classy babe Hel AKA Foxy 69. She has a certain look similar to Desperate Housewive's Marsha Cross and her character is the most likable of the trio. America Olivio is a bit too over-the-top as hellcat "Camerro". As the name suggests she is just out of control with all engines going throughout the film. She's like Tura Satana in "Pussycat..." but a lot more prettier and much more sinister. Her fight scenes with Hel are utterly brutal and even in slow motion are very raw. Those expecting an atypical "catfight" will be pleasantly surprised by the mano-a-mano, no holds barred fight expertly choreographed by in demand stunt woman Zoe Bell.

Julia Voth, looks like a Victoria Secret's model and is absolutely ravishingly in the film. Unfortunately like similar beauty, Megan Fox, her acting leaves much to be desired and hopefully with more films she'll get better.

The supporting cast does try their best to add to the mayhem with varying degrees of success. Michael Hurst (Power Rangers Ninja Storm) makes for an effective atypical Aussie/English bad guy. Ron Melendez (General Hospital) is your standard nice guy in the wrong place at the wrong time. William Gregory Lee (Dante's Cove) is absolutely annoying as a crazed, wacko gangster called Hot Wire. I liked cute Minae Noji (General Hospital) as sailor-suited Japanese "Harajiku Girl" assassin Nicki, who seems like "Kill Bill Vol. 1's Go-Go Yubari, and who wields a yo-yo weapon in homage to the Japanese TV Drama "Sukeban Deka". She could be a member of Japanese girl group AKB48 with her Akihaba inspired costume. Even "Hercules" star Kevin Sorbo makes an appearance as Hel's handler Mr. Phoenix.

"Bitch Slap" is definitely a fun film and despite its many flaws is entertaining in a campy way. Some may find the frequent use of CGI backgrounds a bit distracting (similar to "Sin City" and "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow") but I found it bearable. While I don't think it will be either a box office hit or a cult movie candidate in years to come, it is still worth watching if you are a fan of Russ Meyer and the sexploitation films of the 70s. It may not be no better than a Vivid Porn release but I think its style is still pretty good.
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