Warrick Brown: [showing a Rorschach-like blood stain] What does this look like to you?
Gil Grissom: Hermaphrodite on roller skates.
Catherine Willows: A puppy.
[Grissom and Catherine look at each other quizzically]
Stewart Lytle: [after seeing Wendy working in the lab] Beautiful people doing high-tech police work. There might be a series in this.
Nick Stokes: I don't think so.
David Phillips: [to Grissom, after pulling a rubber chicken out of the mouth of a murder victim] Oh, come on. You've gotta say something. Uhh, "I suspect fowl play"; or, uh, "that's poultry evidence." You know: something.
Gil Grissom: Dying's easy; comedy's hard.
Gil Grissom: Then the rubber chicken was inserted post-mortem...
Dr. Al Robbins: ...and thus not the cause of death.
Gil Grissom: Might have been a gag. Sorry.
Bud Parker: Annabelle and I were married two days ago. We had a deal: she said if I gave up coke, we could get married.
Spencer Freiberg: But you never gave up coke!
Bud Parker: She didn't know that.