- Lacey Burrows: [after Wanda has introduced her, Davis and Karen to her cousin, Nora] That was weird.
- Davis Quinton: Yeah. Who names their kid Nora?
- Lacey Burrows: No! She introduced Davis as a friend, and you as a friend, and me just as Lacey.
- Karen Pelly: That is weird. Davis and Wanda aren't friends.
- Davis Quinton: We're not?
- Lacey Burrows: I mean, why wouldn't she introduce me as her friend? You know?
- Davis Quinton: Maybe you're not Wanda's friend. I just found out I'm not.
- Wanda Dollard: [to Hank] You're ahead an hour? What's the future like? Do I get replaced by a robot?
- Brent Leroy: How do we know you're not already a robot?
- Wanda Dollard: That's ridiculous. Foolish human.
- Lacey Burrows: [trying to get Wanda to say they're friends] What do you call those people who call you just to chat?
- Wanda Dollard: You don't want to know what I call them.
- Wanda Dollard: Have you noticed anything different about Lacey lately?
- Karen Pelly: Too upbeat. A little needy. Overly fastidious. Nope, same old Lacey.
- Lacey Burrows: I know this sounds silly, but I just need to hear you say I'm your friend.
- Wanda Dollard: I'm your friend.
- Lacey Burrows: I know you're my friend, but am I your friend?
- Wanda Dollard: Yes. You're a friend.
- Lacey Burrows: Oh! See, you did it again! You said 'a friend'. Technically, I could be anyone's friend. I want to be your friend.
- Wanda Dollard: You are.
- Lacey Burrows: Are what?
- Wanda Dollard: A friend?
- Lacey Burrows: No...
- Wanda Dollard: We're not friends?
- Lacey Burrows: Ah!
- [she leaves]
- Wanda Dollard: What a nut.
- Fitzy: [staggering into a standing position, to Lacey] A... apple juice? But I was going drink for drink with you!
- [he sways]
- Fitzy: I... I think I need a lift home.
- Wanda Dollard: Aw, I'll give you a lift home, buddy.
- Lacey Burrows: Unbelievable!
- Wanda Dollard: What? You got him bombed!
- [she puts her arm around Fitzy and pats him on the belly]
- Wanda Dollard: Come on, slugger!
- Fitzy: [slurring his words] Wanda, you're my best friend!
- Karen Pelly: What's to argue? It's two hour parking and you were there all morning. Pay the ticket.
- Hank Yarbo: This was issued at 11:00am. And because I'm 12 hours ahead, that's actually 11:00pm my time, and parking is free after six. So, technically, my truck isn't even parked there yet! This is harassment.
- Karen Pelly: A little help here, Brent?
- Brent Leroy: Mmm. You've saved a lot of daylight moving ahead 12 hours, haven't you?
- Hank Yarbo: Sure have.
- Brent Leroy: Think how much more you'd save if you moved another 12 hours ahead.
- Karen Pelly: Yeah! It'd be like being on Australian time.
- Brent Leroy: Fair dinkum.
- Davis Quinton: Hey, you guys want to watch UFC at the bar tonight?
- Brent Leroy: What time's it on?
- Davis Quinton: Says here 9 Pacific.
- Hank Yarbo: So midnight my time?
- Brent Leroy: No, 1 in the morning your time.
- Davis Quinton: Why, what's Pacific compared to us?
- Brent Leroy: An hour behind.
- Davis Quinton: So, 10 our time.
- Brent Leroy: Yeah, but Hank's 3 hours ahead.
- Hank Yarbo: Same time zone as the Atlantic Provinces.
- Davis Quinton: But it's not being broadcast in the Atlantic Provinces.
- Hank Yarbo: Great, now how am I supposed to watch it?
- Davis Quinton: With us, at 9.
- Brent Leroy: 10 to be specific... 9 to be Pacific.
- Davis Quinton: I thought he was Atlantic.
- Hank Yarbo: Ah, I'll just rent a movie.
- Hank Yarbo: Oh, right, I forgot. I'm three hours ahead.
- Lacey Burrows: If you're on daylight savings time, you're only one hour ahead.
- Hank Yarbo: Yeah, I know, but this morning I woke up at seven and couldn't get back to sleep. So, I moved my watch ahead two hours and got up at nine. And you know, I'll tell ya, it felt good to sleep in.
- Lacey Burrows: You know, Hank, I try and stick up for you but you make it so hard.
- Hank Yarbo: I appreciate the effort.
- [First lines]
- Hank Yarbo: [Yawning] Oh man, the sun woke me up early this morning.
- Lacey Burrows: They should have Daylight Savings in this province.
- Davis Quinton: Ah, it's better for the farmers this way.
- Hank Yarbo: I'm with Lacey, do that spring back, fall forward thing.
- Lacey Burrows: No, it's spring forward, fall back.
- Hank Yarbo: But then you're right back where you started.
- Davis Quinton: No, you go an hour ahead in the spring, so - spring ahead, fall forward.
- Lacey Burrows: No, then you'd just be going forward.
- Hank Yarbo: Yeah, that's the idea.
- Lacey Burrows: You have to go back in the fall.
- Hank Yarbo: Back fall, spring back?
- Davis Quinton: Now you're getting it.
- Lacey Burrows: No wonder this hasn't caught on here, it's obviously too complicated.
- Hank Yarbo: OK, let's walk her through this again.
- Davis Quinton: This time - focus.
- Hank Yarbo: Hey, can I borrow some money for lunch?
- Brent Leroy: First of all, no; second of all - no; and third of all it's 9:30 in the morning!
- Lacey Burrows: He's moved ahead 3 hours.
- Brent Leroy: What is with you?
- Hank Yarbo: What's the big deal? The whole East Coast is 3 hours ahead, I don't see you ragging on them!
- Brent Leroy: You ever think of just moving there? Save us all a lot of trouble.
- Lacey Burrows: Haven't they suffered enough?
- Brent Leroy: [In bed, answering the phone] Hello.
- Hank Yarbo: Morning, sunshine.
- Brent Leroy: Let me guess. It's four in the morning your time and you're wondering why I'm not open.
- Hank Yarbo: Nope. According to my clock it's 9:30, which means you're late for work.
- Brent Leroy: [Sees his own clock reading 9:30] Oh. My glib comment seems less funny now.
- Hank Yarbo: I have to admit, the time change was getting a little confusing.
- Brent Leroy: Oh, I don't know if I'd call you a bonehead.
- Hank Yarbo: I didn't say bonehead.
- Brent Leroy: Oh. Regardless.
- Emma Leroy: [entering, with shopping bags] Well, it's done.
- Oscar Leroy: It better be! What's done?
- Emma Leroy: My Christmas shopping.
- Oscar Leroy: Christmas? It's July, woman!
- Emma Leroy: Well I wanted to get a jump on it! Remember last year?
- [flashback to the previous year, Oscar sits at the table while Emma is behind him, pacing around the room, she is wearing a Christmas sweater]
- Emma Leroy: It's the 24th and I haven't started shopping!
- Oscar Leroy: It's the 24th of September, woman!
- Emma Leroy: Yeah, but I wanted to get a jump on it! Remember last year?
- [flashback to the previous year, Emma, wearing a different Christmas sweater, is on the couch while Brent is on the floor surrounded by wrapping paper, in front of the Christmas tree]
- Emma Leroy: It's Christmas Day and I haven't bought a thing!
- Brent Leroy: We just opened our gifts.
- Emma Leroy: No, I mean for next year!
- Oscar Leroy: At least wait until September, woman!
- [back to the present day]
- Oscar Leroy: I don't know why you bother. Last year, all you got people were crappy socks.
- Emma Leroy: That's because I left it too late.