A group of young urban workaholics sign up for a weekend of paintballing to have some adventure. But the adrenaline-filled entertainment soon turns into a manhunt, in which they become the ... See full summary »
When John takes his San Francisco friends to his deceased uncle's remote ranch to hunt wild pigs, it seems like a typical guys weekend with guns - despite the presence of John's sexy ... See full summary »
Travis Aaron Wade,
Howard Johnson Jr.
1808. The Napoleonic Army suffers its first defeat at the hands of a single man: a drummer boy who used the Montserrat mountains to echo his drums and send the enemy troops into a panicked ... See full summary »
Juan José Ballesta,
After her father gets killed in an automobile accident, Kristel Lodema discovers that her dad was investigating an old mine where convicted child killer Andries Martiens died back in 1857. ... See full summary »
Lowly Gillingham Football Club are drawn against Premiership giants Newcastle United in the quarter finals of the FA Cup. A small group of 'Gills' fans decide to make the most of their '... See full summary »
In 1995, drug suppliers and career criminals Tony Tucker, Patrick Tate and Craig Rolfe were blasted to death by a shot gun whilst waiting in a Range Rover in Rettendon, Essex. The film ... See full summary »
London, modern day: Joe, a mild mannered young man is bored by his life. When his beloved brother is murdered Joe finds solace in Piggy, one of his brother's old friends. Piggy helps Joe to... See full summary »
A group of young urban workaholics sign up for a weekend of paintballing to have some adventure. But the adrenaline-filled entertainment soon turns into a manhunt, in which they become the prey and the hunter shoots live ammo not paint. It is no longer a game! Written by
First off, Paintball bets the farm that the viewer has never seen a movie before. If this is your first movie, then you're in luck, as it only gets better from here. Paintball's storyline is a combination of recycled, yet shockingly under-developed, themes and settings that attempts to create an air of mystery and horror by keeping the viewer in the dark. This is respectable approach, however, nothing ever makes sense in the movie and not in the cool Donnie Darko way. It's like a bunch of 8th graders wrote a story in a half hour and never even bothered even coming for a reason why any character in the movie acts the way they do or any situation in the movie would be plausible. You can tell a movie stinks if the only way to move the story forward is for the characters to do the opposite of what any rationale or irrational human would do. Example 1A: People are dying and everyone still walks around inexplicably yelling with their paint guns cocked and loaded. I would think that even the dimmest bulb would realize that staying quite would be to their benefit.
Second, the movie is made horribly as well. You can tell that no shots were thought out ahead of time. The camera will follow someone, they'll drop a helmet, the camera will linger on the helmet, and the helmet will never be heard from again. I can see who a little misdirection can help a movie, but after repeatedly seeing useless visuals, you start to get the feeling that they were just letting the camera roll with hopes of making it work in the editing room. Also, the special effects are terrible. Every effect looks like it had a maximum budget of $5. I can watch a horrible movie and laugh along with the best of them (see American Ninja 3). However, they took so many short cuts in this movie, that there is nothing remotely redeemable about it. You can surely finding something to disappoint you that isn't 85 minutes long.
This gets two stars only because I've seen Gourmet Zombie Chef from Hell.
15 of 24 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?