Lies & Illusions (2009)
Wes Wilson: I'll put in my next book. How does that sound?
Isaac: Like having my balls licked by a porcupine.
Isaac: Where are my diamonds, Alicia? Maybe I didn't explain to you our retirement policy... there isn't one.
Martin: I'm not asking you to stop thinking about her. I'm just saying every guy needs a little... huh?
Wes Wilson: I'm taking care of myself.
Martin: Sure you do. All right, I'm gonna go have a smoke and leave you with some people.
Wes Wilson: I thought you quit.
Martin: Ah, good health is only gonna keep me in bad marriage.
Wes Wilson: [to an old lady] Good luck finding love in the 21st century.
Wes Wilson: Hey, what the hell is this?
Isaac: Mr. Boone will accompany you inside.
Wes Wilson: Why?
Isaac: Insurance, Mr. Wilson.
Wes Wilson: The girl isn't enough?
Isaac: They rarely are.
Boone: [to Wes] You know that book you wrote talking about gender roles and relationships? You know, the guy should cook for his wife once a week? Any recipes you recommend?
Samantha: Nicole, how's the Bureau?
Nicole Williams: How does it feel to be alive?
Wes Wilson: You two know each other?
Samantha: She's been tracking me for years.
Nicole Williams: So, Wes, anything you wanna tell me?
Wes Wilson: Me? Who the hell are you?
Samantha: She's a fed.
Wes Wilson: Wait, wait a sec. You both are in on this? I don't believe it.
Samantha: I told you. She wants the diamonds.
Nicole Williams: No, we want the list.
Wes Wilson: I've cared about 2 women in my life and they've both lied to me. Not little white lies, but big, huge get-me-killed kind of lies.
Wes Wilson: Hey, please don't put me in this trunk. Please. Come on. I'm claustrophobic.
Boone: I don't care what kind of disease you have.
Samantha: Where are you?
Wes Wilson: Sam. Sam! Sam! I'm in the trunk of a car!
Samantha: Well, what are you doing there?
Wes Wilson: Oh, this is my thing. It's what I do. I'm just relaxing.
Samantha: Where are they taking you?
Wes Wilson: They failed to mention that before they threw me in here.
Samantha: What happened? Are you okay?
Wes Wilson: We just hit a bump. Major pothole. Drive a little safer, would you? Jackass!
Samantha: Wes, if I hadn't died that night, we would both be dead right now.
Wes Wilson: Oh, what? So you're gonna say you did all this shit for me? Thanks a lot.
Isaac: I know my diamonds are nearby. Shall we go get them? And no, that is not a question.
Samantha: I need him to get the package.
Isaac: [whispers] So many problems and distractions.
Boone: I couldn't help but overhear you guys talking. I understand you're an agent?
Martin: That's right.
Boone: I got this idea for a book. It's a cookbook with recipes for couples in trouble.
Martin: Who else knows about this?
Boone: Nobody. Well, a few, but they're not around anymore.
Martin: Let's keep it that way. Martin Rivera. Nice to meet ya.