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Okay let me just be clear here, I NEVER turn movies off in the middle.
This movie was SO HORRIBLE, I actually took notes to describe exactly
WHAT is so bad or inaccurate about it.
First, when John and his children walk into the dried up lake area, the military comes out of nowhere, along with a helicopter! How original! It's not like I haven't seen this in 8 THOUSAND other movies before!
So I figured, okay maybe that was a fluke, every movie has something cheesy about it.
That was..... Until I started noticing the one character with the stupid Indian accent, that really took a very short time to get annoying, because OF COURSE the director of this movie has to literally flood this movie with cultural diversity.... Otherwise people might accidentally confuse him with a racist somehow.....
The movie was also loaded to the ceiling with stupid catch phrases, cliché lines and totally obvious moments, that every 5 seconds you swear you've seen this movie somewhere before! Not to mention the bad acting ALMOST makes you forget about all of this.
The one thing that really got on my nerves was the continuously lame attempts at drawing out little dramatic moments. For example, whenever there was a silent or boring moment in the film, out of nowhere comes a military chopper sound just screaming for your attention! And of course then you see the helicopter fly right by the screen or in the background! How original, I bet he stayed up for endless nights and lost massive amounts of sleep coming up with that million dollar idea!
The movie is also loaded with tons of unrealistic sound effects, like when the floor starts to crack in the supermarket, you hear a " tearing " noise.....hmmmmm...... The only way I can explain this logically is, the director is completely deaf, or just doesn't care.
Danny Glover is in this movie, which is great, but his assistant needs acting lessons and might want to step into a NYC comedy club once in a while, since he obviously has forgotten what a "joke" is, because he is not funny.... Basically I'm not even going to make a joke about him, because I'd probably feel like I was making fun of a retarded person.
This movie had an excellent idea, take an actual apocalyptic scenario from Myan carvings, and put it into action.... And since the Myans actually believed the world would end in 2012, their calenders ended at such date. It's sad such an original premise of a movie had to come to such a silly fate at the hands of this so called director.
Another thing I noticed was, when they were driving off in the limousine trying to escape the ground shattering beneath them, was the fact that his limo sounded exactly like an 1980's Ferrari GTO....... Instead of.....maybe a LIMO!
And when they try to pilot the plane, they find that one guy who says the Oh-So-Popular Hollywood line......." oh not me! I've only taken a few lessons!!!" Please don't even get me started on that one.
And WTF is up with the plane scene in general!? I was actually confused as if I was watching a pathetic action movie, or Star Wars! I seriously almost died laughing at how STUPID that scene was.
Besides, they pull the plane up to a frigging gas station and just fill up, like it's there moms Honda accord! That plane required Jet A, NOT gasoline! Not to mention, that plane would NEVER be able to fly on regular pump gas, even IF it was a piston aircraft. Piston aircraft require at least 110 LL octane just to fly. Obviously the highest octane the average stations carry is 93 octane, which would still be extremely dangerous to do.
But every story has a surprise, and mine is no exception.
The ONLY reason I gave this movie 2 stars, was because of Woody Harrelson. He was THAT funny.....
This movie is the attention-whore of Doomsday Action movies. It does absolutely nothing short of sell itself out to bad acting, ridiculously fake action sequences and incredibly dull humorous moments.
This movie is horrible, period..... The only reason I wrote this review was to warn others of how bad this movie is.
I was so looking forward to 2012. As a huge fan of the disaster movie
genre I can be very lenient in grading such titles. The Day After
Tomorrow scored highly with me, I was a sucker for Armageddon and Deep
Impact, I saw each Airport movie about 500 times. Yet this was just a
painful one to watch.
So what is wrong with this piece? The plot is the usual dumb affair that sets up disaster movies. You have the scientist, the top level official, the president and the divorced guy trying to re-win the love of his wife and kids.
The special effects are great. You will see great landmarks obliterated by natural disasters, you'll see pronounced great people die gracefully, you'll see the good guy trying to save everyone in dramatic fashion with special fx galore.
What's wrong then? - you may ask...
It loses any sense of rationality. I'm always disgruntled with horror flicks as with all rationale the first time I hear that crazy noise as any normal mortal man I would let out a high shriek and start running in the opposing direction. Yet horror movie stars are of the dumb variety and they want to see what made that deadly sounding noise.
Disaster movies work because whilst the setting is mostly science fiction, the reactions are at the very least humanly possible. Here everything is just done with an extra level of dumbness. This completely ruins the whole story. I don't want to give spoilers so I'm not going to state any of these happenings, but trust me, not one moment of this movie is believable. You never have that feeling that jeez, this could really happen...
This one factor practically makes the movie an unwatchable mess...
Talk about wasting money, talent and resources. This movie just proves that although Emmerich has all the money in world, and top notch special effects at his disposal, he goes and mess it up by making 2012. Yes Im sure it will be a blockbuster, people around the world will go see this and the movie may even make a serious profit, and Hollywwod will praise Emmerich for making so much money...but thats about it. As far as the movie is concerned, its just awful. Great effects, but so exaggerated. Great actors, but no story. Any child could of made 2012. I'm not gonna complain about the $10 I wasted, but i'll complain about the effort it took me to get out of my comfy home, go to the movies, park the car, waste another 10$ on candy, sit through 2 hours of crap, back in the car and home. I tell you, I have absolutely no pity for Hollywood.
That's the scary part - the word of mouth on this movie had filled the theater on a Monday night - first time I've ever seen that in my local cinema. And yes it really is a terrible movie if you have any - ANY - expectation of seeing something you can think about. I think for anyone with any intellect at all the only way to enjoy it would be to turn off the volume and just fast-forward thru the truly awful "sensitive" scenes (that made me yawn heavily) and admire the CGI - and really you don't need much of an intellect to do that - however it's a higher level than where this movie is pitched. It's actually a low grade soap opera with stunning special effects - so thoroughly "American" right down to the divorced father, disaffected son (in fact I counted 5 father-and-son subplots) and the mindless blonde with a dog (although she was supposed to be Russian) that the movie was really about the end of American civilization because no one else got a look in - but no - wait! It wasn't the end of American civilization because all the dweebs who were spoiling the movie by their unbelievably corny dialog and 'life values' ended up being the progenitors of the new planetary civilization. Horrifying thought right there. That is the real disaster but the movie ended before that could be explore in any meaningful way. Too bad. But as i said - the cinema was full...
I'll make this really short.
I have seen Independence Day, The Day after Tomorrow, Godzilla, Stargate etc. which I thought were nice entertaining movies by Roland Emmerich.
But watching 2012 gave me only one disappointed feeling: "I have seen all this already, and I have seen it done a lot better."
So Roland Emmerich really does NOT ONE thing new with 2012. The characters and "story"elements all appeared in his previous movies, and there they were plausible and they worked. But here he just repeats himself and just can't cut it.
2012 is an okay movie if you haven't seen anything like it before, but otherwise - like for me - it's boring and not even eye-candy, because imho the special effects were not good. And why would you shoot such a movie on video and not on film?
I'm really disappointed in how stupid Emmerich and the producers seem think I am.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
...or worst, depending on your sympathies, "2012" is a well-polished
bolus of a film regardless. Its only genuine merit is spectacle, which
it admittedly delivers in CGI spades. Earthquake? Check. Tidal waves?
Check. Volcanic mayhem? Check. Avalanche? Check. Airplane crash? Check.
Mayhem and mass destruction? Check, check, check, check. Aliens?
Ch---oops, he left out the aliens. No death rays, sorry, Charlie.
This is popcorn entertainment for the brain-dead masses, no question. H. L. Mencken must be laughing fit to kill. Emmerich crammed in every disaster movie cliché he could think of. Kids in peril, miraculously rescued? Check. Beloved pet, threatened and rescued? Check. Broken relationship magically healed? Check. Absurd pseudo-science and routine suspension of the laws of physics? Check. Stalwart supporting characters slaughtered with abandon? Check. Incredible coincidences, serendipities, and synchronicities? Check. Characters the audience really doesn't care about? Check. Attempts at humor more disastrous than the events depicted? Check. Actors taking paychecks? Check, please! Words fail me, as they did Emmerich. I really can't be bothered; nor was Emmerich. "2012" plays like it was plotted by a 10-year-old, and not a very bright one at that. Harold "I can write words, too!" Klosar's score is formulaic in extremis, utterly forgettable. As I said, the only thing this wretched excess of a film can boast is its visuals. In fact, one might be best off wearing earplugs and watching the screen shenanigans in silence. This baby is as bad, if not worse, than everything Emmerich has done to date. The only scary and/or exciting thing about it is how much money it's going to make. What a sad commentary on the collective IQ and thoughtless tolerance of its intended audience, which is to say, us.
Have I written enough yet? Check. Cue last reel coda. Roll credits.
Edited to correct typo.
I went into this movie knowing it would lack storyline like previous flicks Roland has directed, but I had hoped the special effects would make up for it. Though the effects did look incredible, the movie had absolutely nothing going for it otherwise. They were on a plane for half the movie and the other half they were saying goodbye to their loved ones over the phone; just garbage. I don't even want to waste any more of my time writing about this movie. I expected more from this movie, but this was just another attempt by Hollywood to capitalize off of people's potential fears. I just hope this movie doesn't give the crazies who believe this will happen any more justification. Do yourself a favor and don't go see this movie; wait for it on DVD.
The script was unbelievably corny. The cast of players were
'pretending' not acting.
They would struggle to get a part on anyone of the Soaps the acting was so bad.
The Director should be restricted to making porno's.
Technically the movie was also a great disappointment with substandard CGI and very easily I was able to pick where the CGI overlapped the real time movie scene.
Sound also echoed in some parts. Staging of the movie would have us believe that the Shuttle loaded up with nuclear war head was launched by four people in a small room.
I was unable to endure the movie beyond half way and I walked out. Sdaly I have given the movie one star and that is because they do not offer zero as a choice.
One pathetic universal studios ride that somehow became a movie. I honestly cannot believe that this was made into a movie. Think of all of the worst Hollywood clichés mixed with typical "end of the world" Hollywood cheesiness and you'll get the general idea. They didn't even attempt to be original in any sense of the word. I really want to meet the people who saw this movie and gave it the green light. It has to be a combination of not caring and just continuously cranking out the typical Hollywood garbage in an attempt to make a buck. Everyone in the theater was laughing at all the wrong moments. I really should have known that the movie was gonna be bad when I saw that John Cusack and Amanda Peet were the leads, but I fooled myself into thinking that the special effects would make up for it. If you're looking for a good laugh, go see this movie.
This is indeed the worst movie of 2009. The only thing going for this film is the special effects and even those get tiring after an hour. There is no logic used in this film...everything thing happens just because the director and writer want it to happen. Yellowstone Park is only 8 hours away from Los Angeles...everyone one on the east coast is calm while the entire Pacific coast has met unbelievable disaster...cell phones still work even though most of the world is destroyed...our hero constantly outruns every disaster that is facing him. Nothing is believable in this film. And it is 2 1/2 hours long! There are several subplots that could have easily been deleted from the film to make it 90 minutes. Nothing makes sense in this movie. The director of this movie should never be allowed to make another movie!!!
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