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"Torchwood" Something Borrowed (TV Episode 2008) Poster

(TV Series)

(2008)

Quotes

[Banana Boat, Rhys's best man, sees Tosh, all dressed up, carrying a large package into the lobby]

Banana: Whoa!

[sigh]

Banana: All right, luv? You got a big box. Do you want a hand with that?

Tosh: No, thank you. I'm fine.

Banana: Are you goin' to the wedding?

Tosh: I'm a friend of Gwen's

Banana: I'm Banana.

[points to loud yellow cravat]

Banana: Suppose you can tell why.

Tosh: You come up in spots and go soft quickly?

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Captain Jack Harkness: What is it with you? Ever since Owen died all you do is agree with him!

Ianto Jones: I was brought up never to speak ill of the dead, even if they still do most of the talking for themselves.

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[Tosh walks in wearing a dress for Gwen's wedding]

Owen Harper: Woo, woo, look at you.

Tosh: Do you like it?

Owen Harper: Drop dead gorgeous, Tosh. And I think I speak with some authority.

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Captain Jack Harkness: [flipping through wedding dress catalogue] No, I like that one. Good choice.

Ianto Jones: I estimated Gwen's size from the Hub's security laser scans. As you know, my dad was a master tailor. He could size a man's inside leg measurement by his stride across the shop's threshold.

Captain Jack Harkness: Ah, the family eye. Remind me to test it sometime.

Ianto Jones: Well, if, uh, later on...

Owen Harper: Jack!

Ianto Jones: Yeah, brilliant. Like that one.

Owen Harper: We've got a problem.

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[last lines]

Ianto Jones: That's what I love about Torchwood. By day, chasing the scum of the universe; come midnight, you're the wedding fairy.

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Captain Jack Harkness: What I don't understand is if people are going to make such a big deal about getting married, why come all the way out into the middle of nowhere where no one can find you to do it? That, to me, suggests inner conflict.

Ianto Jones: It's because the happy couple want everything to be perfect.

Owen Harper: An alien egg in your belly and its mother coming to rip you open. Yeah, perfect.

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Owen Harper: [about Gwen] That's the kind of daughter every mother must dream of. Cool as ice, packing an automatic.

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Captain Jack Harkness: Passed the eggs on in the bite. Some species do that. A kind of sneaky way of keeping the bloodline going. Boy, would Darwin have a field day if he'd made it to space.

Gwen Cooper: [sarcastically] Mmm! Yeah, great!

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Mary Cooper: You remember how it is, Brenda. The bride likes to make an entrance.

Brenda Williams: Maybe, but I wasn't late for my wedding.

Mary Cooper: No. Barry might have got away.

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Gwen Cooper: [about marriage] You know, Tosh, it'll happen for you, one day. There's always Owen.

Tosh: I don't think so. "In sickness and in health, till death do us part"? That's going to sound like a bad joke, isn't it?

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Banana: So do you fancy a little drink later?

Tosh: I'm sorry. I'm intolerant to vasoactive amines.

Banana: Huh?

Tosh: Bananas make me vomit.

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Gwen Cooper: What will you do while I'm gone?

Captain Jack Harkness: Oh, the usual. Pizza, Ianto, save the world a couple of times.

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[Ianto looks in a mirror holding a wedding dress to himself to gauge Gwen's size]

Shop Assistant: Can I help you?

Ianto Jones: Yeah, I'm looking for a wedding dress for a friend.

Shop Assistant: [with knowing looks] Ah, of course you are, sir. You'd be surprised; we're quite used to men buying for their "friends".

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Captain Jack Harkness: [having splattered the nostrovite all over Rhys, who's holding a chainsaw] That whole Evil Dead thing looks good on you, Rhys.

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Brenda Williams: [about Jack] The problem seems to be an American with no sense of timing or fashion.

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Gwen Cooper: We're not postponing the wedding. No way.

Rhys Williams: Forget the money, I want you where they can look after you, right? Getting married today doesn't matter.

Gwen Cooper: It matters to me! It's not about the money, Rhys. I want to marry you! Today. Whatever happens. If the skies suddenly fill full of spaceships, or an army of Weevils climb out of the drains on St. Mary's Street, you fool! Do you not understand what I'm saying, Rhys Williams? All I want to do today is marry you. That's all I want to do.

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Rhys Williams: You all right?

Gwen Cooper: I'm running around in a wedding dress with what feels like a keg of lager stuck up my skirt. What do you think, Rhys?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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