Dani Reese: Do men have to be disgusting... I mean, isn't there an operation you guys can get?
Charlie Crews: I think they're working on a pill.
Charlie Crews: That's what the newspaper said.
Ted Earley: You don't believe them?
Charlie Crews: Newspaper said I was guilty.
Ted Earley: Yeah. They said I was guilty too.
Charlie Crews: Ted, you *were* guilty.
Ted Earley: I know, but it still hurt to see it there like that, in print.
Captain Kevin Tidwell: Come on. So we'll get a fake beer, huh? And maybe we'll get fake drunk, and end up having fake drunk-sex - what do you say?
Dani Reese: I'd say that idea's repulsive.
Captain Kevin Tidwell: Those are the very first words each of my 3 wives spoke to me.
Dani Reese: [walks away]
Captain Kevin Tidwell: [yelling after her] And they all changed their minds.