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Stan Helsing (2009)

 -  Comedy | Horror  -  25 March 2010 (Russia)
3.6
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Ratings: 3.6/10 from 8,199 users  
Reviews: 64 user | 43 critic

It's Halloween night, and slacker video clerk Stan Helsing along with his insanely sexy ex-girlfriend , best buddy and an exotic dancer/'massage therapist' - detours into a town cursed by ... See full summary »

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Title: Stan Helsing (2009)

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Stan Helsing
...
...
...
Mia
...
Kay
Kit Zenga ...
Orphan
Darren Moore ...
Crazy
...
Pleatherface (as Twan Holiday)
...
Travis MacDonald ...
Hitcher
...
...
...
Needlehead
Jeff Gulka ...
Lucky
Chad Krowchuk ...
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Storyline

It's Halloween night, and slacker video clerk Stan Helsing along with his insanely sexy ex-girlfriend , best buddy and an exotic dancer/'massage therapist' - detours into a town cursed by the biggest monsters in movie history: Freddy, Jason , Pinhead , Leatherface , Chucky , & Michael Myers. Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

The most feared monsters in cinematic have met their match.

Genres:

Comedy | Horror

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for crude and sexual content, some drug use and language | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

 »
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Details

Official Sites:

Country:

|

Language:

Release Date:

25 March 2010 (Russia)  »

Also Known As:

Stan Helsing  »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

| (edited)

Sound Mix:

Color:

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
See  »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

The director of the film also plays the gay porn director for Cornhole Pictures in the movie. See more »

Goofs

When Stan Helsing is hitting the hockey kid the kids' hockey bat disappears between the shots and appears again in the last shot. See more »

Quotes

[first lines]
Stan Helsing: [picking up a ringing phone] Schlockbuster. Happy Halloween.
[pause]
Stan Helsing: Yeah yeah yeah, we carry porn.
[pause]
Stan Helsing: What do I recommend? Well... "Schindler's Fist", "How Stella Got Her Tube Packed", "Six Degrees of Penatration". This is a good one. "Glad He Ate Her".
[pause]
Stan Helsing: Yeah, yeah, okay. You're welcome, Grandma.
See more »

Crazy Credits

Outtakes play throughout the end credits. See more »

Connections

References Six Degrees of Separation (1993) See more »

Soundtracks

Picture You
Written by Richard L. Garcia, Rosel A. Minter and Labyron 'Chaos' Walton (as Labyron R. Walton)
Performed by Miko
See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

See more (Spoiler Alert!) »

User Reviews

 
wow.
15 August 2011 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

First off, I want to thank the writers and directors of this movie. Because of you, I want to become a screenwriter, because I know that no matter how terrible an idea I have for a movie, some idiot will fund it.

I went into this movie knowing next to nothing about it. My secret vise is awesomely bad movies, and I didn't want bad reviews to dissuade me from watching it, because I know awesomely bad movies are not for everyone. My God, if only I had read the reviews.

This movie was terrible. There was no plot, horrible acting, and the jokes were groan-worthy. Stan is a video clerk in the first 10 minutes of the movie, but that plot line drops as dead as the actors' careers, and turns into random wth moments. The other hour and twenty minutes are spent running away from a host of horror ripoffs and a franken puppy. Yeah, that's about it.

Thank God I didn't spend any money on it, it was on Encore. Don't watch this garbage. You'll regret it.


4 of 6 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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