3.6/10
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66 user 45 critic

Stan Helsing (2009)

Trailer
2:27 | Trailer

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It's Halloween night, and slacker video clerk Stan Helsing along with his insanely sexy ex-girlfriend , best buddy and an exotic dancer/'massage therapist' - detours into a town cursed by ... See full summary »

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Reviews
1 win. See more awards »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Stan Helsing
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...
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Mia
...
Kay
Kit Zenga ...
Orphan
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Crazy
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Pleatherface (as Twan Holiday)
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Travis MacDonald ...
Hitcher
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...
Charles Zuckermann ...
Needlehead
Jeff Gulka ...
Lucky
...
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Storyline

It's Halloween night, and slacker video clerk Stan Helsing along with his insanely sexy ex-girlfriend , best buddy and an exotic dancer/'massage therapist' - detours into a town cursed by the biggest monsters in movie history: Freddy, Jason , Pinhead , Leatherface , Chucky , & Michael Myers. Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

The most feared monsters in cinematic have met their match.

Genres:

Comedy | Horror

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for crude and sexual content, some drug use and language | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

 »
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Details

Official Sites:

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Language:

Release Date:

25 March 2010 (Russia)  »

Also Known As:

Mega Monster Movie  »

Company Credits

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Technical Specs

Runtime:

| (edited)

Sound Mix:

Color:

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Stan is wearing a "Bruce Campbell '08" shirt during the scene explaining why Nadine and Stan broke up. See more »

Goofs

When Stan Helsing is hitting the hockey kid the kids' hockey bat disappears between the shots and appears again in the last shot. See more »

Quotes

[first lines]
Stan Helsing: [picking up a ringing phone] Schlockbuster. Happy Halloween.
[pause]
Stan Helsing: Yeah yeah yeah, we carry porn.
[pause]
Stan Helsing: What do I recommend? Well... "Schindler's Fist", "How Stella Got Her Tube Packed", "Six Degrees of Penatration". This is a good one. "Glad He Ate Her".
[pause]
Stan Helsing: Yeah, yeah, okay. You're welcome, Grandma.
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Crazy Credits

The makeup department is listed in the end credits with humorous nicknames like "Jeny 'Puppet-Sex' Cassady" and "Werner 'Monkey Gland' Pretorius"). See more »

Connections

Spoofs The Ring (2002) See more »

Soundtracks

Ring Of Fire
Written by June Carter Cash (as June Carter) and Merle Kilgore
Performed by Alex Kira, Glen Phillips and Nina Lenaghan
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Frequently Asked Questions

See more (Spoiler Alert!) »

User Reviews

 
Worst spoof ever
12 October 2009 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

This is not a movie that you will find ANY enjoyment in and the lack of humor in a spoof shows that the director/producers/actors were just phoning it in to collect a paycheck. Personally, I was embarrassed for Keenan Thompson and Steve Howey. To take this job without reading the script was definitely a wrong move. And to honestly try to incorporate spoofs of horror movies that others have done better is a real crime. If you see this of your own desire, you can't blame anyone when you want to poke your eyes out afterward. If you want to see funny horror, try anything else but this. In fact, try the movies that this one tries to lampoon. But please, don't waste your time or energy on this. Be forewarned - see at your own peril!


54 of 90 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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The worst moive ever made jeds1979-1
Movies like this need to stop thephantomlimb
STEVE HOWEY REMINDED ME OF... jcd-09
Not great, but funny enough if you're not expecting the world pagan_god
Movies I've laughed more at... dantmman
Anyone who knows the filmmakers? tobias-borjesson
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