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Stan Helsing (2009)

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It's Halloween night, and slacker video clerk Stan Helsing along with his insanely sexy ex-girlfriend , best buddy and an exotic dancer/'massage therapist' - detours into a town cursed by ... See full summary »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Stan Helsing
...
...
...
Mia
...
Kay
Kit Zenga ...
Orphan
...
Crazy
...
Pleatherface (as Twan Holiday)
...
Travis MacDonald ...
Hitcher
...
...
Charles Zuckermann ...
Needlehead
Jeff Gulka ...
Lucky
...
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Storyline

It's Halloween night, and slacker video clerk Stan Helsing along with his insanely sexy ex-girlfriend , best buddy and an exotic dancer/'massage therapist' - detours into a town cursed by the biggest monsters in movie history: Freddy, Jason , Pinhead , Leatherface , Chucky , & Michael Myers. Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

The most feared monsters in cinematic have met their match.

Genres:

Comedy | Horror

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for crude and sexual content, some drug use and language | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

 »
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Details

Official Sites:

Country:

|

Language:

Release Date:

25 March 2010 (Russia)  »

Also Known As:

Mega Monster Movie  »

Company Credits

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Technical Specs

Runtime:

| (edited)

Sound Mix:

Color:

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

The director of the film also plays the gay porn director for Cornhole Pictures in the movie. See more »

Goofs

Although the movie is set in Los Angeles the speedometer of a minivan is marked in Canadian kilometers. See more »

Quotes

[first lines]
Stan Helsing: [picking up a ringing phone] Schlockbuster. Happy Halloween.
[pause]
Stan Helsing: Yeah yeah yeah, we carry porn.
[pause]
Stan Helsing: What do I recommend? Well... "Schindler's Fist", "How Stella Got Her Tube Packed", "Six Degrees of Penatration". This is a good one. "Glad He Ate Her".
[pause]
Stan Helsing: Yeah, yeah, okay. You're welcome, Grandma.
See more »

Crazy Credits

The makeup department is listed in the end credits with humorous nicknames like "Jeny 'Puppet-Sex' Cassady" and "Werner 'Monkey Gland' Pretorius"). See more »

Connections

References The Blair Witch Project (1999) See more »

Soundtracks

Ice Cream Man
Written by Richard L. Garcia
Performed by PMG
See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

See more (Spoiler Alert!) »

User Reviews

 
Quite possible the worst movie I have seen this year.,,,
12 October 2009 | by (Canada) – See all my reviews

Its rare that I actually despise a movie as much as this one. Now before you say I am coming down too hard on this movie...if you don't believe me just watch it. The movie starts out 'ok' like a decent rip off of Scary Movie; however, it quickly descends into a downward whirlpool of bad acting, poor direction and a plot that makes little sense.

Basically this movie is a spoof on horror movies. There were a few parts where I laughed- near the beginning, but after that it seems as though the film budget ran out of money or something because after the halfway point it completely looses direction. I kept expecting a story to develop or some kind of back history on 'Van Helsing' to appear. It didn't. The characters are poorly written...and even with the comedic assistance of Leslie Neilson it still flops hardcore.

Leslie Neilson must be really hard up for acting spots to have taken a spot in this stinker. My recommendation is that you don't watch this one....in fact don't even rent it. Its really that bad.


51 of 90 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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