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Stan Helsing (2009)

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It's Halloween night, and slacker video clerk Stan Helsing along with his insanely sexy ex-girlfriend , best buddy and an exotic dancer/'massage therapist' - detours into a town cursed by ... See full summary »



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Cast overview, first billed only:
Stan Helsing
Kit Zenga ...
Pleatherface (as Twan Holiday)
Travis MacDonald ...
Charles Zuckermann ...
Jeff Gulka ...


It's Halloween night, and slacker video clerk Stan Helsing along with his insanely sexy ex-girlfriend , best buddy and an exotic dancer/'massage therapist' - detours into a town cursed by the biggest monsters in movie history: Freddy, Jason , Pinhead , Leatherface , Chucky , & Michael Myers. Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


The most feared monsters in cinematic have met their match.


Comedy | Horror

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for crude and sexual content, some drug use and language | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:



Official Sites:




Release Date:

25 March 2010 (Russia)  »

Also Known As:

Mega Monster Movie  »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs


| (edited)

Sound Mix:


Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
See  »

Did You Know?


Stan is wearing a "Bruce Campbell '08" shirt during the scene explaining why Nadine and Stan broke up. See more »


When they're tossing the hitchhiker out the back of the van, there's a lot of light behind them, possibly from another car. In the next shot, after the hiker is gone, the light is no longer there. See more »


[first lines]
Stan Helsing: [picking up a ringing phone] Schlockbuster. Happy Halloween.
Stan Helsing: Yeah yeah yeah, we carry porn.
Stan Helsing: What do I recommend? Well... "Schindler's Fist", "How Stella Got Her Tube Packed", "Six Degrees of Penatration". This is a good one. "Glad He Ate Her".
Stan Helsing: Yeah, yeah, okay. You're welcome, Grandma.
See more »

Crazy Credits

The makeup department is listed in the end credits with humorous nicknames like "Jeny 'Puppet-Sex' Cassady" and "Werner 'Monkey Gland' Pretorius"). See more »


References Eraserhead (1977) See more »


Red Whine
Written by Omoloa Isis Salami and Graham Bertie (BMI)
Performed by Thunderheist
See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

See more (Spoiler Alert!) »

User Reviews

Nauseatingly bad!
18 January 2010 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

Wow, just got done watching this "parody" and it was so bad I feel like throwing up...not kidding! At first it grabs you, thinking it might be a funny spoof, like Scary Movie and the like, but if you can tolerate this thing till the end, you will see it is nothing of the sort. The acting is terrible. There is nothing funny at all, it just drags on and on and you'll find yourself begging for the end. Not even to see how it ends, just because of the sweet release of watching. I could never sit through this movie again. I can't express how bad it is, possibly the worst movie of all time. The 2 main female characters are pretty hot, and that's the ONLY good thing about the movie. I NEVER put posts on this website, but had to with this one, just because it is so bad. Avoid at all costs.

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The worst moive ever made jeds1979-1
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