3.6/10
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65 user 45 critic

Stan Helsing (2009)

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It's Halloween night, and slacker video clerk Stan Helsing along with his insanely sexy ex-girlfriend , best buddy and an exotic dancer/'massage therapist' - detours into a town cursed by ... See full summary »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Stan Helsing
...
...
...
Mia
...
Kay
Kit Zenga ...
Orphan
...
Crazy
...
Pleatherface (as Twan Holiday)
...
Travis MacDonald ...
Hitcher
...
...
Charles Zuckermann ...
Needlehead
Jeff Gulka ...
Lucky
...
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Storyline

It's Halloween night, and slacker video clerk Stan Helsing along with his insanely sexy ex-girlfriend , best buddy and an exotic dancer/'massage therapist' - detours into a town cursed by the biggest monsters in movie history: Freddy, Jason , Pinhead , Leatherface , Chucky , & Michael Myers. Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

The most feared monsters in cinematic have met their match.

Genres:

Comedy | Horror

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for crude and sexual content, some drug use and language | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

 »
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Details

Official Sites:

Country:

|

Language:

Release Date:

25 March 2010 (Russia)  »

Also Known As:

Mega Monster Movie  »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

| (edited)

Sound Mix:

Color:

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

The director of the film also plays the gay porn director for Cornhole Pictures in the movie. See more »

Goofs

Although the movie is set in Los Angeles the speedometer of a minivan is marked in Canadian kilometers. See more »

Quotes

[first lines]
Stan Helsing: [picking up a ringing phone] Schlockbuster. Happy Halloween.
[pause]
Stan Helsing: Yeah yeah yeah, we carry porn.
[pause]
Stan Helsing: What do I recommend? Well... "Schindler's Fist", "How Stella Got Her Tube Packed", "Six Degrees of Penatration". This is a good one. "Glad He Ate Her".
[pause]
Stan Helsing: Yeah, yeah, okay. You're welcome, Grandma.
See more »

Crazy Credits

Outtakes play throughout the end credits. See more »

Connections

References Stargate SG-1 (1997) See more »

Soundtracks

I Don't Want To Go Home
Written by Steven Van Zandt (as Steven Van Zandt)
Performed by Glen Phillips, Nina Lenaghan and Amanda Millard
See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

See more (Spoiler Alert!) »

User Reviews

 
Oh my God......
11 October 2009 | by (Greece) – See all my reviews

I think these guys don't even try anymore to make not a funny one, but even watchable movie anymore....

There is no need of spoilers or taking even a deeper look at this ''movie''. There is no plot not script no acting, nothing really present that this would qualify this as an actual movie.

When i sat down to see this movie i knew about what i was going to see. A cheap laugh. But as i realized i noticed that a actually barely smiled during the movie. I spend most of my time looking at my watch wandering when the movie is going to end. Anyway...

One hint to the producers...

STOP MAKING THIS TRASH ANYMORE. I am not an American, but i would personally be very offended if this kind of movies are supposed to reflect the cultural level of young American people.


82 of 130 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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