The Curse of Blanchard Hill (2006 Video)
Forest Ranger Fred: [upon seeing the corpses of two victims] Oh my God! They're dead! Oh my God they're really dead! Why me? Why did I have to find these people? I can't believe it!
Forest Ranger Fred: Hey you guys? I don't know about this. I think we might need to get some backup... Maybe a search team or the Marines or something.
Detective Roger: No! That's a stupid idea. If we do that, this place'll be crawling with media, and we don't need that!
Detective Peter: Right. It'll blow our case! If that killer has cable TV, we're done for.
Detective Roger: He could even have extended cable.
Detective Peter: Is that even possible in this forbidden land?
Forest Ranger Fred: You guys, we don't even have DSL up here.
Detective Roger: Lame.
Detective Peter: In any case, we've got to keep quiet until we know more.
Forest Ranger Fred: Buh... But we gotta warn them! I mean, more people could die! We gotta quarantine this place off!
Detective Peter: Look, pal! We're the detectives, and you're the forest ranger. So you just leave us alone to do our jobs, and you do yours. Got it?
Gus: This may sound crazy to all of you guys, but I've heard a lot of stories of Blanchard Hill. They might be urban legends or myths perhaps. But you know, enough weird, crazy shit for me to think this place isn't normal!
[Telling spooky stories at the campfire]
Detective Peter: Looks like we gotta get fresh, brother. America needs us.
Detective Roger: Let's get ready for some detecting.
Detective Roger: Peter, I think we've got a serial killer on our hands.
Detective Peter: But a bear did this.
Detective Roger: But, Peter, the machete wounds on this man could not have been done by a bear. They match the ones on those honky-tonk kids, except bloodier for some reason.
Detective Peter: Oh come on, Roger. No man could possess the power to do something like this!
Detective Roger: Yes, Peter. Yes he could.