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Take one part lousy script, add painfully poor acting and turtle-slow pacing, then mix in some cheesy special effects and plenty of stock Air Force footage and you get Polar Opposites. This direct-to-the-Here! Channel exercise tries to position itself as a gay disaster movie but only ends up a disaster.The film takes a long time time go anywhere - thanks to a mother lode of uninteresting sub plots. By the time the film gets moving, you frankly won't care. The magnetic poles on the earth are changing due to an atomic blast in Iran (oh, how topical). The movie is all downhill from that point. To make sure you get the point, the whole magnetic field concept is explained several times...in once case by using a battery and a tangerine.See the crazy cancer patients in the free clinic endure earthquake after earthquake. See the lone scientist (didn't the actor play Mr Sheffield on "The Nanny" TV show?) who has the disaster all figured out but no one will believe him. See the scientist bicker with his live-in dad using some of the worst dialog ever put on film. See the "exciting" earthquake sequences when it is so painful obvious someone is simply shaking the camera and the falling debris is Styrofoam. See the top Army general try to make sense of what is going on and then try to stop an atomic attack on Iran (oh, how topical again).I wish I could explain the ending but I am still scratching my head trying to make sense of it. As for the gay angle, there in one brief man-to-man kiss at the end of the film. So if you are looking for frolicking cute guys, you will not find any in "Polar Opposites." You have much better things to do than watch this mess. Go wash your hair, cut the front lawn or use a tangerine to explain to your kids about the magnetic forces around the earth.
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